the Benefits
by kelsey.deanx3
Summary: Twelve rules to a two player game. Some call it love, they call it The Benefits. James/OC.
1. one

**- author's note -  
><strong>as of right now, i have three chapters written for this.  
>this is a trial run, of sorts. if the response to the first two chapters are good, after a week, i'll post the third.<br>which also means that as of now, Phil Collins vs Peter Gabriel is on hiatus. i'm really sorry, both to the readers and myself, but i just cannot get into it right now. i feel like i'm just writing to write, with no real purpose. and after re-reading the last chapter, i decided to not pursue it until i can fully wrap my head around it.

**- disclaimer -  
><strong>i don't own Big Time Rush, nor do I claim to.

_the Benefits_  
><span>chapter one? let's begin the fun!<span>

Anyone in the lobby at that point would have been trampled. He was on a mission. He ducked through the crowd, turned corners and bit to swiftly and let out a deep sigh as he pounded on the door. Apartment 3H; his own personal heaven. He gave his hair a signature flip, caught his breath and tried to look as appealing as possible. But, of course, that was no challenge. The mirror in the hallway confirmed he looked as damn good as he felt. With a wink, he turned just in time for the door to swing open. There she stood, hair neat and curled and laying on her shoulders, a smirk on that face. That face. She crossed her arms, leaning on the door frame and cracked a small smile, "And here I thought you stood me up."

He allowed himself to chuckle. That was part of their agreement, sarcastic banter, open hours and mind-blowing, life-changing sex. And a damn good agreement it was. He gave a proud smirk before practically lunging at her, taking her face in his hands, attacking her lips and slamming the door with a swift kick. Backing into the room, she tore his shirt from his body, breaking the kiss momentarily to pull it over his head and remove her own top. There, they locked eyes. She smirked again, she always smirked, and he could see the lust written clearly in her eyes. She reached her hands behind her back, and normally he would stop her. Taking off her bra was his favorite part – of the foreplay at least. Today, however, he needed this. Gustavo had pounded harmonies into their heads today, relentlessly. He needed this. She needed this.

She dropped her arms and down fell her red, lace brazier. His eyes widened and he grinned like the Cheshire cat. She laughed, grabbing his hand and making a break for her bedroom. Halfway down the hall, he spun her around and slammed her against the wall. She looked up at his lips, biting her own, "We're playing ruff today, huh?"

He nodded, kissing her again, his fingers fumbling with the buttons on her shorts, hers undoing his so easily. He grunted in frustration, "What the hell?"

"Here, let me." She insisted, slipping out of the pants easily. She chuckled at his astonishment, "The buttons are fake."

He took another moment to make sure her shorts knew he hated them, then grabbed her thighs, hoisting her up. She latched onto his torso, kissing him fiercely, and let him carry her into her room. Tossing her onto the bed, and flicking off the lights he slipped out of his boxer briefs. She giggled and tilted her head back, motioning for him to come over. Naturally, he obeyed.

"James. James. James Diamond! Earth to James!" Kendall waved a hand in his friends face, frantically. He removed his headphones, shrugged to the booth and turned to Logan, "He's completely catatonic. Hey, JAMES!"

James Diamond snapped out of his revelry with was lazy, "Huh?" He looked to Carlos, Kendall and Logan, then turned to the booth and offered Kelly and Gustavo a meek, "Sorry, where were we?"

Gustavo threw his hands up, tossed his head back and groaned, "Dogs, take five. Kelly, my office."

The three remaining members of the band, those without fabulous hair, a rocking body and a super hot – "Dude." Carlos interrupted James' musing, much to his dismay, "What is up with you this week?"

Logan was the first to agree, "Yeah, you seem…distracted."

"Out of it." Kendall added.

Carlos nodded, proudly, crossing his arms and stepping in front of the two reprimanding hockey players, "Yeah, you seem distracted and out of it."

"Thank you, Carlos." Kendall sighed, "What's gotten into you, James? We have to get this song done or else no album, no European tour, and no hot European girls."

It was odd, for someone just recently split up, Kendall was eager to date again. James never pegged him as the rebound type, in all the years he'd known him. Still, James had to agree. He shrugged, "I'm just…I don't know! Can't a guy be in deep thought without being scolded, huh? Logan does it all the time! No one ever yells at him."

"That's because when Logan thinks, he doesn't do this." Carlos turned around, rubbing his hands on his back and making kissing noises, "Ooh, yeah, you're so hot."

James immediately blushed. Kendall and Logan laughed a bit, but after received a glare from James, coughed their chuckles away. Carlos, however, was cracking up at his own humor. James had no idea he'd been talking mid-daydream. Needless to say, he was more than embarrassed. He shoved Carlos, "Shut up, man. Look, I've just been busy with other things lately, alright. They've sort of have my mind…occupied."

"Well, get it un-occupied, James." Kendall demanded, "I am going to Europe this summer."

Logan gave a half smile, "We all are, we've just got to get focused. Right, James? We'll get there."

James nodded. The boys stood in a silence for a mere moment before Kelly entered, an apologetic smile on her face, "Sorry, guys, you can head home. He's –"

A loud, thunderous yell came through the speakers, "KELLY!"

She grimaced before shrugging, "He's that. See you guys tomorrow, same time."

Kendall, James, Carlos and Logan trudged through the Palm Woods lobby, exhausted. Gustavo was on a mission, should he chose to accept it, and it was killing them before the end of the month. They had six more songs to record, six already done. Then came the album release in May, summer tour, living the dream. Between the dance and music rehearsals, it was getting harder and harder to even recognize the dream. Kendall whimpered, flopping down into a lobby chair, "Wait, please, wait. I can't walk anymore. My legs, my legs!"

Carlos was the next to fall, he collapsed onto the couch, his arm resting on his forehead, a light – fake – sob shaking his body, "I can't take it anymore. I just…I can't."

"Europe, guys." Logan attempted sympathy. Failing, he too fell into a Lay-Z-Boy, "Europe."

James laid his body along the back of the sofa, eventually falling onto Carlos and groaning more. Then a small voice, a small female voice entered the quartets ears and brought them back to life. Kendall's eyes popped open at the sound of a girl behind him, "Excuse me?"

All four sat up, eager faces and frantic hands fixing themselves. She giggled, "Hi."

James and the girl locked eyes, a knowing glance undetected by the other three. However, they were interrupted by Kendall, ever-so-suave, "How can I help you?"

"We." Logan corrected, "How can we help you."

Carlos, Logan and Kendall all rose to their feet. Not wanting to seem suspicious, James followed. Again, she laughed, "Have you seen Buddha Bob? My sinks on the fritz again." Sighing, the boys all pointed to the left, "That way? Thank you, boys." She gave a wave then made her way out onto the patio of the Palm Woods pool.

Kendall slumped back into the chair, "Who's the new girl?"

"No idea," Logan followed, "I've never seen something that…"

"I know, me either." Carlos sighed.

When the room fell silent, outside of the chatter surrounding them, the trio looked to James. His eyes shot from boy to boy, frantically, before he caught on, "Oh!" He piped, "I mean, yeah. She's…hot."

The boys gasped, "James!" Carlos scolded, "How dare you talk about the future Missus Garcia like that!"

Logan laughed, "Missus Garcia? Try Missus Mitchell. Doctor and Missus Logan Mitchell."

A scoff came from Kendall's side of the conversation, "Missus Kendall Knight would not appreciate you guys fighting over her."

James just shook his head. The sense that he was keeping something from his friends hadn't hit him until that moment. Still, there was something so dangerous about it. The Secret life of James Diamond. It sounded like a poorly casted, ABC Family Original show. Huh. He allowed his head to fall back and rest on the couch while his friends banter continued. Finally, he stood, "Guys, you don't even know her. Just lay off, alright, she's not a piece of meat."

And then, leaving his friends confused and in his wake, James stomped his way to apartment 2J. His phone vibrated in his pocket, startling him. After a small struggle, pulling it from his skinny jeans, James finally got out his iPhone. A new text from one Sadie Grant. He smiled.

_Your friends are super cute, James._

He gave one "Ha!" before typing his reply, _They could, and did, say the same about you._

Another buzz. _Well, isn't that just the sweetest! How was recording?_

_Same as usual. _James typed. _Gustavo's a pain in my ass. _

_Funny, you were a pain in mine last night ;)_

James nearly blushed. He started down the hallway to his and Kendall's room. _Speaking of, tonight?_

_Can't :(_

_Why not?_

_I've got an early morning audition. Unless you want to come by now?_

_Would Buddha Bob mind?_

_Not if you're quiet. Besides, he'll be gone by the time you get here. Unless you wanted him to watch._

_Sadie, you're sick._

_Yes, but you love it, don't you._

This time, James didn't respond with a text. He pounded on the door to apartment 3H and smirked as a confused Sadie opened it. She smirked, took his hand and pulled him to her, kissing him, "I'm taking that as a yes." She whispered. Sadie pulled James into the apartment, "Bob, you can just head out when you're done."

A grunt of understanding came from the maintenance man and James took the small distraction as an opportunity to pull Sadie's hand to his crotch. She gasped, pulling it away, then continued to drag James away to her room.


	2. two

**- author's note -  
><strong>make sure to review. it's sincerely appreciated, loves.

**- disclaimer -  
><strong>i do not own Big Time Rush.

_the Benefits_  
><span>chapter two? don't mind if i do!<span>

James awoke the next day to an insistent buzzing on his chest. He grumbled and mumbled before sitting up and pushing his phone off his body like a poisonous spider. After running a hand over his face and through his hair, he picked it up again; three new messages, one from Twitter – that damn Russell Brand – and two from Sadie. He ignored the tweet, naturally, and went straight for Sadie's.

_Wake up, bitch, it's like noon._

_Do you know the airspeed velocity of an African swallow?_

James' face contorted into a lazy smile. Sadie was the greatest kind of crazy. She was like a dude. A really hot, boob-having, girly dude; no matter how weird that sounded. She was just a guys' girl, football lover, baseball lover, _hockey _lover and a damn-good lover. This deal was the greatest decision James had ever made.

It was about a month ago, the day Big Time Rush had decided their final album list. The boys wanted to go see the latest Nick Cage movie, James would rather gauge his eyes out than sit through a Ridiculous Cage movie. So, as Kendall, Logan and Carlos made their way to the movie theatre, James took a leisurely, lengthy stroll back to the Palm Woods. After practically falling into the lobby doors, exhausted form his walk, James stumbled into a girl. She had the most amazing, chocolate brown eyes. Her hair was in a long ponytail, curled in large, natural ringlets. Her bangs went across her forehead, just at the middle of her eyebrows. And her smile, well, at the moment, it didn't exist.

"Oh, sorry." She stated, taking a step back.

"H-h-hi."

"Hi." She gave.

"Hi." James repeated, somewhat more gathered than the first, not nearly as cool as he imagine, however. He flipped his hair back and offered his best cool guy smile, "I'm James, James Diamond."

"Sadie Grant. Tell me, James, is everyone here this douche baggy? Or is that just you." She rolled her eyes and started rolling her suitcase away. James was taken aback, but quickly pulled it together, grabbing her arm.

"What did you say?"

The girl, Sadie, turned back, annoyance clear on her olive-toned face, "Yes, Mister Diamond? I think you heard me. Look, all I'm saying is that I've been in Hollywood thirteen minutes and not one guy, of any age or stature, has offered to help me. So, that's rude and upsetting. Chivalry is dead, I get it now. But then, a cute guy bumps into me, and instead of apologizing like a civil human being, he flips his hair and rambles out a dumb little greeting. 'Hi'." She mocked, "I mean, really? The least you can do, at this point, is point me in the direction of apartment 3H. I'll just shove my three bags up my ass and shit them out later. Prick."

James looked at her a moment, head tilted like a confused puppy. Then, he started laughing. He honestly didn't mean to, it just came out. This girl was insane. He couldn't figure out why the hell it was so funny, but his laughter would not stop. He clutched his sides and watched her face curl into the angriest of glares. That, however, only proved to be more hilarious. Frustrated, Sadie stomped on James' foot, quite clumsily picked up all her bags, then stormed down the hallway.

It was later that night, hours after James stopped being an ass and gathered himself, that he made his way towards 3H, flowers in hand. He knocked, cautiously on the door, tapping his foot anxiously on the carpet. It crept open, slowly, revealing that same face from earlier. James smiled, apologetically, holding out the flowers. Sadie looked at them, at James, then opened the door the rest of the way.

James did all he could not to gasp. She was completely nude, just standing there, only covered by the towel wrapped around her hair. He tried to maneuver the flowers to cover her body, but to no avail. She chuckled a bit, then smirked, "You wanna come in?"

James looked about the hallway. It was totally empty. With a sigh and a look to the sky, James stepped into the apartment. It was filled with boxes, some opened some still taped shut. Sadie closed the door, then before James could hand off the flowers, disappeared. She returned, a large Pittsburgh Penguins shirt on. She pulled her drying hair to one side of her head, draping it over her shoulder, then put her hands on her hips, "So, now that you've seen me naked, it's your turn." She said, stepping forward, smelling the flowers, then taking them, "Go on, then."

James' hands started sweating, his head was spinning. He looked at her for some sign that she was joking, he didn't even know this chick. But, she seemed persistent, "I really…I should go."

"I'm kidding. So, the flowers, is that a Hollywood thing? Or…"

"It's an apology, for earlier."

"So, let me get this right." Sadie said, her hands back on her hips, "You came to some strangers apartment, with flowers, to apologize and gawk at me naked?"

"Well, not the last part. That was a…pleasant surprise. I mean, I just wanted to say sorry, y'know?" James tried to explain and not focus on how the water from her hair was making the white t-shirt…

"Well," Sadie grinned, "I guess I was wrong, chivalry isn't dead. Congrats, James Diamond."

"On what?"

"Passing the crazy test, of course." She laughed, "You want something to drink?"

He shook his head, "No, I should go now. I just came to –"

"Apologize, I'm aware. But why leave, got a hot date?"

"No."

"Then stay."

James was hesitant, like, really hesitant for James Diamond. Normally, he'd take every opportunity to stay in a girl's apartment. Especially if that girl was alone. It was much better than staying a room full of dudes, a mom and a little girl, that was for sure. And since chances like this were scarce, what with all the prudes and vicious stage parents at the Palm Woods, James would be almost expected to stay. Not to mention all the built up sexual tension he'd been feeling lately. So, stay he did. He gave a small nod, both to signal he'd stay and he'd have that drink. Sadie smiled and disappeared again, giving James a moment to admire her apartment. It was designed different than 2J, it was more closed off, and smaller. But, then again, four teenage boys weren't rooming in this one. Just one babe of a teenage girl. Sadie returned, two Dr. Pepper's in her hand. She handed one to the brunette and started into the living room. She plopped down on the green couch and curled her legs up underneath her. James followed but didn't sit until Sadie patted the spot next to her with a gentle, "Come on, I don't bite."

James later discovered that was a beautiful lie.

"I think another apology is in order." Sadie sighed, "I was…a little crazy earlier. I was running on three hours of sleep, so, that goes how that goes. My parents blame stress and insomnia. I blame my desire to watch copious amounts of internet porn." James eyed her, she was strange. She was so…open, it's like her brain just sent shit out of her mouth whenever it felt like it. James was unsure of if he liked it…or loved it. "I'm kidding, come on. I don't watch _copious_ amounts. Kidding, again. I guess it's just the New York temper in me."

"You're from New York?" He tried to change the subject. For some reason, James was feeling not-so-cool. A bit off his a-game. Then again, the fact that he could only picture her naked now might be a contributing factor to that.

"No, Bathe, Maine, actually." Sadie chuckled, "But, anyway, I'm sorry. I propose a new start. Hello there, I'm Sadie Grant, and I'm honored to meet your acquaintance, Mister..."

James grinned, "Diamond. James Diamond, at your service."

"Ooh, sounds kinky."

"Mm," He sipped his soda, "Very."

The two chatted for three hours. James found out Sadie was a dancer, auditioning for companies, music videos, anything she could find. She was from Maine, still had both her parents – happily married and still, unfortunately, sexually active – and had twoother siblings, a brother and sister. She was the middle child, at eighteen. Sade discovered James was a nineteen-year-old singer, about to release his second album – which, Sadie hadn't even heard about the first – and living at the Palm Woods with his three hockey playing best friends from Minnesota. Something emphasized, in James' opinion, too much and too often. They talked about sports, music, movies. Anything they could think of became part of the conversation. It was when they stumbled upon sex that everything changed. Sadie was discussing her latest break-up. Mick, the boy with the crooked one. James was laughing his breath away, and that's when it happened. Sadie just blurted it out.

"And he had the nerve to dump _me_!" Sadie scoffed, throwing her hands up, "HIS PENIS WAS CROOKED." James let out a huff of laughter, smiling wide. "God, I seriously loathe men sometimes. Just because I started cracking up the minute he set the crooked snake free is not my problem. See a doctor, you know? I'm sorry, you probably don't want to hear this."

James shook his head, "No, it's totally fine."

"Good. Oh, and don't get me started on Eric. Eric freakin' Sanders. I can't stand that guy. So, I'm all excited, I have a date with a college guy as a junior in high school. I don't know if that's huge in Hollywood, but in Bathe, Maine. Well, anyway, we're in the back of his Camry – now, that should have been my first sign – making out and he stops."

Sadie looked at James for a second, as if asking him if it was alright to go on. James nodded, "Yeah."

"Yeah, I immediately start freaking out. Like, is there something wrong with me? Does my breath smell. Because, at this point, I'd brushed my teeth like three times during dinner and the movie and consumed nearly thirty breath mints." She took a breath, "And he looks at me and goes, 'What are your views on Jesus?' To which I reply, 'Uh, I don't know. My parents are Buddhists.' After that he climbed up in the front seat and just looked forward."

"What a dick." James laughed.

"I KNOW!" Sadie cried, "I asked him what was wrong and he said, 'I can't date you. You're a Buddhist."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Nope. After that he took me home, thank God. But I so horny. Sorry. I just, you know? Like, don't get me all hot and bothered and then just leave me hanging. It was complete shit." She fell back against the couch, sighing heavily, "Sometimes I just wish sex was free."

James agreed, "Yeah, back in Minnesota I was about to loose my virginity to this girl. We had it all planned and everything, her parents were gone that weekend. It would've worked out. Right as I'm going in, laying buck naked on top of this chick, she stops me and says, 'I'm so happy you're ready for this. Marriage at sixteen in a big deal.'" Sadie hooted a laugh, clutching her sides, "Instantly limp, I swear. Worst day of my life."

"So, wait. James Diamond, are you a virgin?"

James too a sip of his fifth soda, shaking his head, "No, me and Logan's cousin did it over Thanksgiving break, three years ago. I was sixteen."

"Mm, I bet you were a stud after that, huh?"

"Babe, I was a stud before that."

She smirked, "I bet."

The room fell silent for a while, comfortably, the new friends both laughing at each other's sexcapades and misadventures. James, from the corner of his eye, kept his attention on Sadie. She was just…awesome. He'd never described a girl like that before. Sadie was awesome. Sure, she was attractive, like all of his other girlfriends. Wait, she wasn't his girlfriend. They'd just met. She was just a friend, a new friend. A new hot friend who liked everything James liked and talked openly about sex. It was like his dream girl was right in front of him.

"Hey, James?" Sadie turned to him, her head resting on her hand. "I'm going to say something, but you can't judge me, alright?"

"Yeah, totally."

Sadie let out a breath, preparing herself, "Do you want to be sex buddies?"

He was taken aback, to say the least. For the second time tonight, she'd surprised him. He tried to wipe the stupid grin off his face, but he couldn't. She really was his dream girl. Setting his pop down on the coffee table, James looked directly at Sadie, "Are you serious?"

"Ah! I knew it was a stupid idea. Sorry, just forget it." She waved him off.

"No, no. I'm for it. I'm pro-sex buddies."

"Really?" Sadie questioned, sitting up more, "I mean, like, you're totally into it?"

James nodded. But, thinking that wasn't enough, he gave a, "Yeah. Definitely."

"Alright. That's it then."

"Wait, wait. Let's set some ground rules, alright. I don't want you calling me at three o'clock in the morning just to talk, or something else lame." Sadie glared, "Or, vice versa, babe!"

"Oh, another one, absolutely NO pet names. I once dated a guy who called me Pumpkin Pants. Yeah, I know." Sadie shook her head, "Guy was a freak."

"Alright, what else?" James chortled.

The two took an hour, came up with twelve rules, then held out the sheet of college-ruled notebook paper, grinning like mad and laughing.

_James and Sadie's Rules of the Hump!  
>By James Diamond and Sadie Grant<em>

_Rule One: No pet names, nicknames, or kink names.  
>Rule Two: No late night phone calls just to talk.<br>Rule Three: No dramatic, romantic eye contact during sex.  
>Rule Four: No romantic glances, stares or daydreams – ever.<br>Rule Five: No letting it interfere with work.  
>Rule Six: No cuddling or baby talk, at any time.<br>Rule Seven: No thinking of each other while listening to romantic songs.  
>Rule Eight: No "dates".<br>Rule Nine: No chick flicks.  
>Rule ten: No telling friends.<br>Rule Eleven: No romantic foreplay, rose petals, candlelight –the works.  
>Rule Twelve: No jealousy.<em>

"And so, by Royal Decree, on this day December 19th, 2011, I Lady Sadie Noelle Grant and Lord James Edward Diamond, do declare each other sex buddies from here until death!" Sadie cried, in a hoity British accent.

James laughed, reaching over her shoulder to point at the list, "Can we add no poor accents on there?"

Sadie glared, "Goodnight, Lord Diamond." She pushed him through the living room and out the door, despite his protests. Then, before he could say anything else, closed the door in his face with a chuckle, locking the deadbolt for extra measure.


	3. three

**- author's note -  
><strong>review, loves. the Benefits is a go.

**- disclaimer -  
><strong>i do not own Big Time Rush.

_the Benefits_  
><span>chapter three? that's fine by me!<span>

Poolside on a warm, delightfully sunny Saturday afternoon was prime real estate at the Palm Woods. Anyone who had lived there for even a day knew that, for a fact. And, though it was against several of the numerous rules a bitter Mister Bitters had set, that's why some residents reserved their seats ahead of time. Case and point, the Jennifers. But that was common knowledge, they'd always had and always would have those three seats. For everyone else, however, it was a dog eat dog, first come first serve sort of deal. And if you were so fortunate to get a seat, you didn't move. Not even if a meteor was coming to destroy the earth and total damnation was upon you. You held onto that seat like it was going to save you. The swimming pool was packed full of splashing, jumping, diving teenagers and kids, laughing and yucking it up on such a fine day. To the east of the pool sat Big Time Rush, the four boys relaxing on the one day off they had this week. Gustavo was being particularly ruthless lately, what with their album release and pending tour. Each boy had their own pose, their own style of lounging. Kendall, was leaned back, his chair pushed as far as it would go. Sporting his favorite pair of Hawaiian themed trunks and a bright orange tank, he kept his hands behind his head and a cool, relaxed and lazy grin on his face. To his left, Logan's florescent green visor shaded his book: _The Great Gatsby_. His skin was pale, nearly blinding, and even though Logan knew this, he wore nothing but a pair of simple, baby blue swim trunks and a pleased smile. Carlos, to Kendall's right, had his helmet tight on his head and a bright Carlos Garcia signature smile on his face and his hands clasped on his stomach. His yellow and green striped shorts were a great contrast to his perfectly olive skin, tanned from many a Saturday in Los Angeles. And finally, James Diamond, to the right of Carlos, had one hand on his abdomen and one behind his perfectly sculpted - he made damn sure of it - brown hair. His sunglasses rested on the bridge of his nose and his white and blue shorts hung perfectly on his hips.

"This is it." Kendall sighed, "This is the life. Me and my guys, poolside, hot girls, I never get sick of it."

Carlos gave a nod of agreement, sighing along, "Agreed. I could stay here all day."

"Actually, you couldn't." Logan corrected, "Not with the sun where it is. You'll be burnt in approximately three hours, in this heat. Luckily for you, I brought sun block - extra strength."

James shook his head, a laugh escaping from the back of his throat, and Carlos gave a scoff of protest. He wasn't about to let Logan rain on his parade. James sat up on his elbows, scanning the pool. He gave a wink to a passing girl, named Holly. She'd moved here a year after the boys and promptly chased after James. Not in the literal sense, of course, although a few times she came close. They had a quick fling, to her greatest dismay, but then it was done. James sighed, not the first time, content. He missed this, the four of them just being the four of them. He looked to his boys, then back across the pool - to the west. With a great grin, he spotted her, the reason this, bro bonding, had been so scarce lately. And what a damn good reason it was. Sadie Grant sat, in a simple, purple halter bikini. Her hair was braided to one side, laid on her shoulder. Her gaze, while blocked by dark aviators, was focused on the magazine in her hands. James, as force of habit, grabbed his phone and texted her immediately. He watched her until she got it, a smirk on his face.

Sadie lazily reached across her torso to her bag, beside her chair, and picked up her Blackberry. James could have sworn he saw her smile, before her fingers started typing.

His phone vibrated, _You're a pig. You know that? _James reviewed his previous text, (_That suit would look even better off of you._) before texting her back, a devilish smirk on his face.

Sadie raised an eyebrow, lifting her sunglasses from her face and putting them on her head, _Look up._It read. She glanced around the pool, clearly confused, and James couldn't help but laugh a bit. Then, she saw him. A bright grin spread across her face and she shook her head, mouthing, "You perv."

He just shrugged, pointing to his phone. Sadie got the hint, picking hers up once more and texting him back, _You look like a chick.  
><em>  
>James' face scrunched, <em>Does that make you a lesbian?<em>  
><em><br>You'd like that, _Sadie responded, _wouldn't you?_  
><em><br>_James didn't text his reply. He looked up to Sadie and nodded frantically, like a four year old offered ice cream and comic books. She chuckled, then typed again, _You do know that if I were a lesbian, I wouldn't be having sex with you, right?_  
><em><br>Yeah, but you could in front of me._

Sadie's jaw dropped, _You're seriously a tool. You look so cute with your buddies. The blonde one's a total babe._  
><em><br>_James looked at her, to Kendall, then pointed. Sadie nodded and licked her lips, _I'm the pig? He's not your type._  
><em><br>My type is boy, James. _Sadie said, _Don't flatter yourself._  
><em><br>_James started to type, his thumbs moving quickly. Carlos eyed him, nudging Kendall who nudge Logan. The three of them coughed, getting James' attention. He jumped slightly, turning to his friends. Kendall, sat up, "Who ya textin', James?"

"My mom." He was quick to answer, perhaps too quick, they noticed. "She's…sick. Nothing serious, just a virus."

Logan and Carlos nodded, content, but Kendall was wary. He kept staring until James gave an awkward smile and turned away. He erased his text, typing something new to Sadie. She looked at him and laughed, _They're onto us, huh? You're so paranoid. _  
><em><br>_With that, the brunette stood, gathered her things, and strutted away in her small, purple bathing suit. James watched her every step, musing to himself of his luck. His phone vibrated, _Stop watching me, freak. Text me later._  
><em><br>_James Diamond looked at the HDTV screen before him, his head tilt and slowly shaking. He glanced at Sadie, who sat next to him munching popcorn decked out in Captain America garb, then back to the TV. It was a tradition of theirs to wear superhero pajamas on nights like this. They were watching Jennifer's Body, their Megan Fox Marathon commenced. James popped a piece of Extra Buttery popcorn in his mouth, then said, "No. There's no way she'll kiss her."

"James. Shut up. I already told you she does." Sadie laughed.

"Sadie, there is no way in hell Megan Fox would kiss Amanda Seyfried. Movie or not." James was being stubborn, he knew. But he loved making Sadie mad. She was the Queen of angry sex. He could swear it. So, he pushed on – even though he'd seen the movie and knew the two girls did kiss – arguing his point until Sadie's face turned red.

She grabbed the remote off the table, pressing down the fast forward button as hard as she could. James couldn't help but let the smile creep on his face. Tonight would be good. It was lucky that Sadie had a short fuse. Damn lucky, indeed. Using the remote, she pointed to the screen, "There! You see it! They're kissing. Now shut up. There's nothing worse than movie talkers. Damn."

She slammed her back against the couch, crossing her arms. James let out a small, "Huh" then continued chewing his handful of popcorn. Sadie, out of the corner of her eye, glared at him. How dare he happily munch his popcorn. She smacked the bowl out of his hands, watching it spill on her hardwood floor. James' jaw fell in offense. The two looked at each other a moment then, like lightning, Sadie was sitting on James' lap, straddling him with her tongue down his throat. James' hands rest on her sides, pulling her close. Much to his dismay, she pulled back, her hands latched behind his head. She closed her eyes for a second before looking at him, a question written clearly on her face.

"James?"

"Sadie." He mumbled against her neck. If she wasn't going to kiss him, he was going to kiss her – wherever he could.

"James." She repeated, her hands dropping and resting on her thighs.

He let out a hot breath against her collar bone and lifted his head, annoyed, "What?"

"You didn't purposely get me mad so I'd have sex with you, did you?"

"No." James shook his head.

Sadie smiled, letting out a quick breath, "Good, because –"

"I purposely got you mad so you'd have _angry_ sex with me." If that comment wasn't enough to set her off, the cheesy, cocksure grin on that boys face did. Sadie jumped off him faster than she jumped on and gave a short scream of frustration. The nerve of James Diamond was enough to make her want to hit a brick wall, bare knuckled. Which, Sadie knew from experience, was never good.

She pointed to the door, the sound of Megan Fox tearing up a boy covering her heavy breathing. She didn't want James to know just how turned on she was. Honestly, Sadie was seriously messed up and fully aware of it. Something about being angry just turned her on. Just like playing with James' hair turned him on, or grabbing his ass – though he'd never admit it.

James stood, laughing a bit. He was so damn cocky, the prick, but so hot it killed. Sadie, reluctantly, grabbed his arm and spun him around, "Know that I do this because you're hot. Not because I'm not pissed."

And before James could say anything, Sadie's lips were on his and her hand was working it's way down his Spiderman pajama pants.

James rolled over on his back, his eyes struggling to open. He grimaced at the sunlight forcing it's way through his venetian blinds. He stretched his arms out to his sides, arching his back, but his fist met something warm, something fleshy. At that, his eyes had no trouble with popping open. He turned slowly his head, looking right. Sadie. With a shriek, James hopped out of bed. Sadie jumped up, confused at first, but then let out a shriek of her own.

"You're naked!" She shouted, looking at James. Her gaze switched as she looked down at herself, "I'm naked! Oh, wait, we had sex. Wait! Why are you here still?"

"I don't know!" James hollered back, "What time is it?"

"Six thirteen in the morning!" Sadie screamed, "We have to get you back! And dressed!"

"I know! Where are my pants?" James scrambled about Sadie's room, while she hopped out of bed and threw on a sundress. James noted that she wasn't wearing panties or a bra, hoping that wouldn't change by the time he got back to the haven he called Apartment 3H. She sprinted from her room, out into the hallway and living room, snatching up James' boxer briefs and shirt. James ran out after, holding his pants in a ball in front of his crotch. Sadie giggled a bit, "Embarrassed."

James, yanking on his clothes, winked at her, "Should I be?"

Sadie shrugged, opening the door and scratching her chin, "It's not about the size of the instrument, but how you use it."

"Hey now!" James protested, pulling his shirt over his head, "It's not small!"

Sadie, again, shrugged. James jogged to her, smacking her ass before continuing out the door. Sadie followed, grabbing his hand and pulling him behind her. James wanted to ask where they were going, he wasn't much of a follower. He was horribly curious as it was. But, as though she were in tune with his thoughts, Sadie answered his question with, "You'll have to go through the window. If Kendall's mom is up, you're dead."

James nodded, dropping her hand and catching up with her. Sadie ducked behind a corner, James close behind, and peeked in a window. Sleeping blonde boy, Hockey posters, this was it. With her nails, Sadie pulled at the screen. After it popped out, she slid open the window and presented it to James with a swoop of her hand, "You're like a bionic woman, I swear." He grinned.

Sadie examined her nails, "I do try my best."

James hopped up onto the windowsill, trying to stay as quiet as he could without waking Kendall. With a hesitant look, he kissed Sadie lightly before landing inside and closing the window. She laughed, throwing her head back, then picked up the screen and pushing it back into the window. With a wave, she was gone. Kendall stirred in his sleep, causing James to jump in his bed and under the unmade covers. The blonde sat up at the noise, giving a tired, "James?"

He pretended to be just waking up, stretching and yawing obnoxiously, "Ooh! Oh, hey Kendall. Is it morning already? Oh, I slept like a baby."

Kendall stared at his friend before settling back down and yawing, "Yeah, alright."


	4. four

**author's note: **i have to say, i love getting "favorite story" and "story alert" e-mails, but reviews are the good stuff. lolz. so please, be kind, because i'm a total review whore, and i'll love you for it. forever.

**disclaimer: **in no way do i own, nor do i claim to own, big time rush.

_the Benefits_  
><span>chapter four? shut the front door!<span>  
><strong>rule one: no pet names, nicknames or kink names.<strong>

James slipped on his skinny jeans, if you could say slip. He nearly had to lay down on Sadie's bed to get them up. She, of course, watched and laughed, he glared at her playfully. Sadie grinned, mockingly, eyes shut and teeth shining. James picked up a throw pillow chucked it at her face. She let out a great, "Ow!" and it was James' turn to laugh. Sadie sat up, a glare set on her face. She jumped to her feet, standing a good foot over James on her bed. With a growl, she hopped off and onto his unsuspecting back. James stumbled a bit, but caught Sadie, laughing. He tried fighting her off, with not much effort, but she clung to his torso like a chimp, wrapping her legs around his waist. With a wicked grin, Sadie bit down on James' shoulder. He screamed and dropped her. She took this as an opportunity to run across the living room and into the kitchen. Immediately she grimaced at all the cooking supplies, eggs, milk and box of cake mix sitting on the counter. James had, of course, distracted her three hours earlier and now her cupcakes were no more. But, at the sound of his footsteps, Sadie quickly ducked behind the counter knocking over a spoon and causing it to CLINK and CLANK on the tile. She grimaced, hoping he hadn't heard it. Unfortunately, he did and not a millesecond after Sadie thought she was safe did James' head peek around the corner.

Sadie yelped, scrambling to her feet, but failing. James reached out and grabbed her, pulling her down with him as he slipped on the fallen ladle. He grabbed onto whatever surface he could, desperate for support, but ended up pulling the half-mixed cake batter onto Sadie and himself. After a gasp from both parties, Sadie and James, they burst into laughter. Sadie took a handful of the mix and smeared it in James' hair. He did the same, smearing it on her face. Then, he proceeded to stick out his tongue and lick the batter off her face, sloppily and like a dog. Sadie chuckled, loudly, pushing him away.

"Dick." She joked.

James scoffed, countering, "Bitch."

Sadie continued her giggling, pointing at James, "You should see you, oh wow."

"You too." James nodded. "My saliva does not look good mixed with this delicious cake mix."

"Yeah," She agreed. "But at least I still look cute, you just look crazy. Now, clean it up while I take a shower."

"Wait, what?"

"You heard me!" Sadie put her hand on her hip, before heading towards the bathroom.

James sat on the floor, shaking his head. "I hate you, you know?"

"Yeah, yeah. You hate me so much you have sex with me on a daily basis!"

He couldn't argue with that. James stood, using the other side of the counter – the clean side – to pull himself up. He grabbed a towel from the drawer and flicked on the faucet. Sadie, from the bathroom, shrieked, "James! You asshole!"

He just smiled his cocky smile and called back, "Oops, sorry!"

He'd been scrubbing the floor for nearly fifteen minutes before Sadie returned. Her bath robe was wrapped around her, thigh high. A towel was skillfully wrapped around her head, and her ever-so-proud smirk was worn, well, proudly. She put her hands on her hip, cocked her head and sighed, "Ah, James Diamond on his knees. Just what I like to see."

James looked over his shoulder, back at Sadie and wiggled his butt. She let out a laugh and threw her head back. James stood, throwing the towel in – literally. He watched as Sadie opened the refrigerator, taking out her favorite, pineapple juice. Then, like it came so naturally, he stepped over to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. James buried his face in Sadie's neck, smelling her fresh chocolaty soap. Sadie filled her glass, taking a sip and turning to face James, "What are you doing today?"

"Let's see." James backed up, leaning against the counter across from Sadie, who had hopped up on her side. "We're recording, and then dance rehearsal, and you."

Sadie smirked, "Clever _and_ classy."

He bowed, "I thought so. Why, what's up?"

." Sadie shrugged, "I have an audition. And for some reason, I wanted you to be there."

James laughed, "Weird request but…alright."

"It's not weird." Sadie slapped his chest, "You've just never seen me dance. And you're constantly shoving your boy band crap down my throat." James' mouth opened, "Okay, not crap. You're good. But, just be there?"

James nodded and, after stealing a coke from Sadie and finding his shirt, practically skipped into the lobby. Outside of the world of James Diamond and Sadie Grant, the Palm Woods was painfully ordinary. Everyone was either packed in the lobby, sleeping in in their own rooms or out by the pool – depending on their age. Most were by the pool, including Kendall, Logan and Carlos. Simultaneously, because it would seem the boys could function no other way, they sat up, whipped off their sunglasses and questioned, in a motherly tone, "Where have you been?"

James jumped back, startled, "Don't you guys do anything else?"

Logan shook his head "No, not really. Pool, perform, pool perform. It's a pretty tight schedule."

Kendall and Carlos nodded, James gave a laugh and took the vacant seat next to Logan. The boys sat, happily, in the east side chairs. Then, after a while, they went towards the park and threw a Frizbee.

"The rules are simple." Carlos explained, "You just have to say words that rhyme with whatever the first word is until you drop the Frizbee. Then, the first person picks a new word."

"Carlos, that sounds lame." Kendall laughed.

"No it doesn't." He protested, "It's fun. I'll start. James, heads up. The word is: jump."

James caught the flying disc, then passed it to Kendall, "Hump."

Carlos laughed, Kendall caught it then threw it to Logan, "Slump."

"Ah!" Logan jumped, the disc going over his head and hitting the tree behind him, "Shit. Alright, word is: loop."

To Carlos went the Frizbee, and with a laugh and a catch, he said, "Poop."

James, Kendall and Logan all chuckled along, for a second. Their laughter gradually increased until they were all bent over, slapping each other on the back and hooting. Camille, passing by at the worst moment, shook her head with a smile. She crossed to the boys and stood in the middle of their square, "What happened?"

"Carlos." Logan squeaked, out of breath. He pointed to his Spanish friend, hoping he'd get the hint and carry on.

Carlos looked to Camille, back to his friends, then laughed out, "Poop!" To which the boys laughed harder. Again, the brunette female shook her head, and looked away.

"You guys will never grow up, will you?" She sighed, jokingly, before walking off, "See you later!"

Sadie hitched her duffle bag higher onto her shoulder, a deep sigh escaping her tired throat. A night of screaming at the top of her lungs whilst watching _The Human Centipede_ – at one James Diamond's request - wasn't something she enjoyed terribly. Luckily, James was there to distract her. And that he did, three times. Sadie ran a hand through her knotted hair, facing defeat and throwing it up in the messiest of messy buns, a few dark curls dangling down. She pulled her iPod from her bag, unwrapping the headphones, selecting shuffle and shoving the headphones in her ear. The MP3 player rested safely in her yellow jacket pocket, beneath her hand and she stepped, subconsciously, to the beat making her way out of the Palm Woods. In her other pocket, next to her balled up fist was her cell phone. It, naturally, vibrated and Sadie pulled it out, reading the text that was inevitably from James. It seemed no one else texted her these days. Other than James and Twitter, her inbox was practically barren. So much for keeping in touch when she moved away; Sadie was convinced her family forgot her. Not that it was a huge loss, or that she was complaining. Spring Lake Trailer Park could live without her.

At that thought, Sadie said a silent "Thank You" to her Grandmother, without her and the employment of Roma's Pizzeria, Sadie wouldn't have even made it out to Los Angeles. She'd worked her way here for three years. Sadie looked at the worn phone in her hand, smiling a bit. She was right, it was James.

_Your ass has never looked better than it does in those spandex, babe._

Sadie gave a short guffaw and took one head phone out of her ear, _I bet yours would look better._

It wasn't a second later that James replied, _You're right. I've got one damn good ass. Turn around._

Sadie stopped in her tracks, her right eyebrow raised – for lack of her left eyebrows ability to do so. She turned, cautiously, not afraid so much that he'd be there, but the fear of _what_ exactly he was doing. Low and behold, when Sadie turned, there was James' bare ass peeking out from behind a shrub in the Palm Woods Park. She chuckled loudly and whistled, stepping over to give it a hard smack. James jumped up, immediately, pulling up his jeans and yelping, "Damn. A bit hard don't you think, man hands."

Sadie rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah, baby dick."

She started to walk off again, leaving James slightly offended and scared she was telling the truth. He zipped his pants and chased after her, "Wait, I don't really have a…" He got quiet, buckling his belt, "_Baby dick_, do I?"

Sadie looked at him out of the corner of her eye, smirking, "Uh, no, of course not."

James, with a sudden burst of confidence, stepped in front of the olive-skinned girl and walked backwards, "You're lying. If I really have a _baby dick_, then why do you still sleep with me."

"Boredom." Sadie's answer was plain, "If you're not insecure about it, why do you keep whispering baby dick?" James shushed her, looking around as they approached a crowded cross walk. Sadie's eyes held a glint of evil as she bit her lip, "What, James? You don't want everyone to know you have a baby dick?" Her voice seemed to echo, at least to James, and members of the crowd turned, some snorted a laugh.

His hand instantaneously covered her mouth. His eyes shot from person to person, a nervous laugh trying to disguise his clear discomfort. James waited like that, with his hand over Sadie's mouth, until the little white man on the sign said they could cross. Sadie was struggling to breath, laughing hysterically at her friends' misfortune.

Sadie plopped onto her couch, an arm slung over her eyes and a deep, frustrated sigh forcing it's way out her mouth. She shook her head, slowly, back and forth, mumbling and scolding herself. James just stood at the counter, watching her. She'd been like this for nearly two hours now. Everything he mentioned - relevant or not - she would bring up her audition and how horribly she'd thought she'd done. James, however, was watching her then, too. She was phenomenal. Absolutely outstanding. She certainly gave him a run for his money. And the rest of the guys, for that matter. After grabbing a coke from her refrigerator, James decided it was time to tackle the Sadie situation - literally. He cracked open the can, took a refreshing sip, and placed it delicately on the counter - as if it were a fancy, old Roman vase from the days of Mighty Caesar. James smirked to himself, rubbing his hands together to rid them of the condensation, and then wiping them on his deliciously tight - in Sadie's opinion - jeans. He reared back, then took off, jumping with a great, "RAH!" onto Sadie's body. She gave a tight, "Oomph!" and clutched her stomach with one hand, as James had the other pined beneath his ass. She glared at him, short of breath from the impact, and sighed again, "James. Now is not the time."

He grinned, fixing himself so he was laying across her body, his waist on her lap, and his head resting on his hand. "Oh yeah? Well then, Miss Poopy Pants," He poked her left cheek, her nose, then her right cheek, on the three syllables of "Poopy Pants" with a cheesy, lopsided smile, "What time is it?"

Sadie sneered, half-playfully, then pushed him off her, "Time for me to mope around. Time for me to break my feet off and give up."

She dropped her head onto the back of the couch and, once again, sighed - obnoxiously. James pushed himself off the ground and walked away. Sadie lifted her head for a moment, "Where are you going?"

James didn't answer, he just kept walking towards her dining room area - packed with a small, white table, three chair and a shelving unit tucked behind it. James knew that her stereo was back there, and her iPod was more than often, plugged in. He threw open the cupboard doors and grinned, devilishly, to himself. Then, after scrolling through her selection, he pressed play and cranked Cher's "Believe". Sadie resisted a minute, then, gradually, she let a smile creep on her face and allowed James to grab her wrists and hoist her up. He spun her around, dipping her once or twice, and singing along - though he'd never admit, "Dance, Sadie, dance!"

Sadie chuckled, spinning into him. He twirled her back out, then in again - this time facing her. James smiled down at her, swaying back in forth. Then, he titled his head back and sang - loudly and not necessarily on key, he'd admit, "Do you BELIEVE in LIFE after LOVE?"

Sadie couldn't stop her laughter, she just watched him with the goofiest grin plastered permanently on her face. She giggled a bit, then stood on her tip toes to plant a small, sweet kiss on James' lips - shutting him up for longer than she expected. He stared at her, something in his eyes Sadie had never seen before. She just smiled and watched him until he spoke again, "Sadie. _Babe_." His voice was quiet and his tone was sweet. Sadie liked that, "Don't beat yourself up, you're amazing. You're talented, smart, and beautiful. Those assholes, they don't know what they're missing. But, it probably wouldn't hurt if you slept with them."

Sadie slapped his arm, mocking offense, and pushed away. James, pulling her back, said, "I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It's just one of your many talents that I think you should showcase more often. You're like the greatest chick I know, _babe_. And if they don't see that, then they're crazier than you."

Sadie shrugged, holding James' hands and pulling back so he was at arms distance. She looked him over, smiling to herself a bit and smirking her signature Sadie Grant smirk. She nodded her head towards the hallway, "Come on."

James was never one to argue with that. He smirked at Sadie, mimicking her, and then took off for her bedroom.


	5. five

**author's note: **chello, loves. i feel like an awful person. it's been, what, three weeks? i don't know, but my computer crashed and we took it to the Geek Squad, but they said there was no saving my files or anything. fuck technology, honestly. so, i had to rewrite everything for _the Benefits_. That sucked, but i'm officially back and writing every Sunday. there'll probably be another chapter today, perhaps two - dependant on the reviews i get.  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>i don't own big time rush.

_the Benefits  
><em>chapter five? coming at you live!  
><strong>rule two: no late night phone calls just to talk.<strong>

Sadie, with one hand under and one hand on top of her pillow, stared - bored beyond her wits end - at the digital alarm clock on her night stand. She glowered, was more like, and huffed ever time it dared to change - every minute, on the minute. She grumbled and mumbled about her "damned insomnia" and beat her fists against the bed occasionally, just to prove to the monsters beneath it that she was truly, truly frustrated and desperate for just an inkling of sleep.

On the other side of the Palm Woods, James Diamond was seated on that orange couch he'd grown fond of, slamming his thumbs onto a game controller, as if it helped him not lose. He only wished. James would be the last to admit that COD, in any form, was not his forte. In fact, he sucked - and while he was painfully aware of that, why the hell would he admit it? So, at three in the morning, he was hopped up on Mountain Dew, Red Bull and Oreos, fighting for his life with some doucher known as RANDYKILLZU.

The two of them, for whatever reason, kept glancing at their phones. James' hand left the controller a few times and Sadie threatened to climb out of bed and take hers from its charger. She bit her lip and he shook his head. He blamed the multitude of energy related drinks and junk food running through his veins, she blamed her serious lack of sleep. She noted it was a valid excuse, since her insomnia had gotten progressively worse throughout her eighteen years. He reasoned that he'd probably had too much sugar and needed to cool it. Still, they were hoping for something. Whether it was from each other, or someone else. They just thought a distraction would be wonderful.

Sadie, sighing, rolled onto her other side, closing her eyes tighter than before, hoping that would help. James let out a breath and set down the controller, signing off and clicking off the TV. Mamma Knight, groggily, walked out from her room. She yawned, tying her robe shut, and scratched her head. James tried to sit, quietly and still, as she shuffled to the fridge. Unfortunately for him, Jennifer Knight flicked on the kitchen light and let out a high-pitched shriek. Her hand on her heart, and her breathing heavy, she stomped over to James and picked him up by his army green v-neck, "Bed, now."

James stumbled a bit, but reluctantly made his way down to the room he shared with Kendall. The dirty-blonde was passed out on his bed, snoring like a monster and no doubt drooling. James always had to replace his pillows when Kendall came over to visit. Then again, he was sort of picky about that - people using his pillows. Call it peculiar, call it anal. James called it, "I am my mother's child" syndrome. He couldn't help but notice his friends phone lighting up. He crept over, a curious look on his face, and picked up the lit device. Three texts from…"Oh, shit."

James set down Kendall's phone, backing out of the room and zooming down the hall. Mamma Knight was still in the kitchen, and she scowled at him with a warning, "James." as he swooped by. He grabbed his phone, flashed it to her to explain, gave a small smile and ran out. He closed the door to his shared room and breathed out. That woman was vicious when she was half awake, he'd learned that from his own personal experience. Without realizing it, he immediately checked to see if anyone had called or texted him in the past two minutes. No one. With an annoyed roll of his eyes, James stood at the end of his bed, staring angrily at that damned iPhone. He was sending it signals, telepathically, _Ring. Ring Ring. Ring, damn you!_

In room 3H, Sadie had taken to quietly chanting the words, "Please ring, phone." It was like it'd become her mantra. Not that Sadie had any idea what that meant. She often pretended she was a hipster, cool kid with words like that in her daily vocabulary, but she was talking out of her ass when she used them. She sat up in her bed, the covers wrapped around her waist and legs, cradling the red phone in her hands and occasionally kissing it. And then, like freakin' magic, it rang. Sadie gave a nod to the big man upstairs, and stared at the device, confused as of what to do. It was James, of course it was James. She didn't know if she should answer it. Freaking out, Sadie shrieked and tossed her phone across the room.

James' chest rose, then fell. It was a slight sense of relief that she didn't answer. He hadn't the slightest idea what he would've done had she been awake. He was silently praising Jesus when the beep from her voicemail reminded him he hadn't hung up, "Oh, shit." he said, slapping his forehead shortly after at his own stupidity. James looked around at the plants, as though they would help him, and sighed into the receiver, "Hey, Sades. It's me…James.. I was just calling you, to, you know…talk?" James's eyes, previously closed, popped open and his hand shot out, "No! Not to talk, I just saw…a funny video…on the internet. It was this cat and…well, alright. I'll see you…later."

Frantically, James held down the 'END' button, hanging up and shutting off the phone. He tossed it inside the window with a light shriek, as though it suddenly burst into flames. He stared at it, watching as it lay on the eggshell colored carpet, screen completely black.

Kendall stirred in his sleep, mindlessly reaching over to his phone. James saw him smile as he read the screen and quickly typed his response. The brunette scowled at the dirty blonde from outside, mumbling, "Dick." Kendall's head immediately turned towards the open window at the disturbance. James ducked down, just out of sight, as Kendall crossed, looked outside, and shut the window tight. James held his breath, cursing himself. _Smooth move, Diamond, you dumbass._

James sat there for a moment, his head resting against the wall and his eyes shut. What the fuck was he supposed to do now. His phone was inside, he was locked outside. With no other option, James stood and waked around the building to the lobby. It was lit, brightly, but completely empty. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before continuing inside. Mamma Knight was going to kill him. Starting to turn towards his hallway, James looked over his shoulder at the opposite walkway and the stairs going up. He took a moment to glance between his options; 3H was sounding heavenly right about now, but anywhere other than 2J would get James chewed out in the morning. Still, his other alternative seemed so much better.

With a small smile, he turned and jogged his way to 3H. With a round of knocks at the door, James smoothed his shirt and hair, checking himself in that same mirror that always hung in the hallway. His shooter hands came up, accompanied by a wink, and then the door swung open. Sadie stood there, one of James' hockey shirts on and the shortest shorts he'd ever seen barely visible underneath it. She tried to look tired, and assumed she convinced James as he gave her a sympathetic look. She stepped back, letting him in, and feigned a yawn, "Not that I don't love middle of the night knocks at my door, but what the hell are you doing here."

James shrugged, "I got locked out. And instead of getting my head ripped off by Mrs. Knight, I thought…"

"Yeah, yeah." Sadie said, turning and motioning for James to follow. He hesitated a bit, not sure of what she meant. "Come on, it's sleeping time, asshole."

James laughed at her, nodding and stepping quickly to catch up. Sadie immediately crawled into her bed, patting the side next to her. James crossed the room, walking around the end of the bed. In the corner, he saw Sadie's phone - the battery out and a few inches away. He raised an eyebrow, "Why's your phone over here?"

Sadie's eyes went wide, unnoticed by James, "I don't know, sleep walking?"

"It's apart." James noted, crawling between the sheets and settling next to her.

Sadie turned away from him and yawned, this time for real, "Sleep throwing. I said I don't know, Diamond. Sleep."

"You're a bitch when you're tired." James smirked, wrapping his arm around her, pulling her in and acting as the big spoon.

Sadie settled against him, smiling a bit to herself. She didn't say anything, just took his hand and watched as his fingers laced with hers. She closed her eyes, slipping away into sleep. This is what she needed. James brushed Sadie's hair back, nuzzling into his pillow and took a deep breath in. He could still smell the Lilac shampoo, and he was so content with it that it could kill him. Within seconds, he fell asleep to the sound of Sadie's even, resting breaths.

The sound of radio static and the subtle sounds of Lifehouse underneath it woke Sadie up the next day. She groaned, slamming her hand down to silence the alarm and roughly set her head back down on the pillow, tugging at the arm around her like a blanket. She turned her head a bit, eyeing James as he slept. She laughed a bit to herself, he looked so ridiculous laying there with a stupid smile on his face. Sadie had never met anyone who smiled while they slept.

"Stop watching me, Sades." James' tired voice startled her. She rolled over fully, facing him. "It's weird."

His words were mumbled and tired. Sadie looked past him, out the window to the sun peeking through the blinds, "You were smiling, if you want to talk about weird." James' eyes opened and he looked at her. "Good morning."

"Morning." James said.

Sadie leaned back, coughing a sputtering, "Oh, God. Morning breath." She laughed. James glared at her, letting go of her hand and sitting up a bit. He looked offended and Sadie felt a pang of guilt, "I'm sorry. It's just, every romantic movie has lead me to believe that no one has morning breath anymore, it just took me by surprise. It's not that bad, I swear."

"Yeah? Screw you." James glared, mockingly.

Sadie leaned back further, "Oh, I lied. It's that bad. Ew, ew."

James chuckled, rolling onto of her and pinning Sadie down. She struggled, laughing and tossing her head back and forth to avoid his face. He kept stretching out his words, like, "Saaaadie" and "Come oooon.", breathing on her. She giggled, trying to lift her arms and push him off. Finally, she succeeded, though she suspected James let her push him off. Sadie jumped out of her bed, walking out of her room and yelling back to him, "You're damn lucky I bought extra toothbrushes, dick."

James grabbed his shirt, he discarded it last night sometime, getting too warm under the covers in the most respectable way. He slipped on the black tank top and followed after her. He stepped through the living room, and into the bathroom where Sadie stood, hand on her hip and a toothbrush - with toothpaste - presented to him. Snatching it from her hands, James stuck out his tongue and popped the blue brush into his mouth. Sadie picked up a purple, similar looking brush and started brushing herself. They eyed each other in the mirror, a smirk on Sadie's face and a glare on James'. Sadie leaned forward to spit, holding her hair back, and then walked out - smacking James on the ass with a laugh.

James followed, rinsing the sink and - once again - chasing after her. He perched himself at the counter as Sadie paced around the kitchen, looking in her cupboards with a curious look on her face, "What do you want for breakfast, darling?" She said, in her best British accent. It reminded James of when he first met her and the smallest of smiles crept onto his face. He shrugged, "Come on, we can't properly play house if you don't participate, hubby."

James laughed, shaking his head, "You're fucked in the head, you know that?" He said, wagging a finger at Sadie, "We're not playing house, we're not six."

Sadie ignored him, "If I was your wife and you were about to leave for work, with your briefcase and dashing business suit, what would you want for breakfast. And make it easy, I still have to back little Brody and Emma's lunches, it's her first day of kindergarten." Sadie grinned her Cheshire grin and watched as James laughed at her.

He just shrugged, "Pancakes easy enough."

"Too easy," she said, turning to the pantry, "You want bacon, too?" James hesitated. Sadie barely turned back, looking at him over her shoulder, "Oh, come on, no one refuses bacon."

"You don't have to make me breakfast, Sadie." James said, simply.

"I want to." Sadie replied, with a shrug of her shoulders and a small smile, "Besides, you look famished, darling."

"The accents have to stop."

"Pssh, nevah in a million years, love!" With the tip of a fake hat, Sadie went back to preparing. James just watched her. She moved with such ease, it was crazy. Literally blew his mind. Sadie was far too amazing for James Diamond - and he'd never thought he'd say that about anyone; let alone a girl. But Sadie, she was something different.

They ate their meal at the clean, white table. The bacon was perfectly crispy, the pancakes full of fluff. James sipped his chocolate milk - extra chocolaty - and let out a content sigh, "Absolutely delicious."Sadie stood, collecting the plates and taking them to the sink to rinse, "You know, I don't think I've used that table but once since I've been here. And that was when I pathetically ate Christmas dinner alone."

James stood, taking his glass and hers into the kitchen, leaning his back against the counter, "That's depressing."

"Mmm, isn't it." She said, taking the orange juice, a sip, then dumping it in the sink. Sadie looked at James for a second before speaking again, "You should probably get going soon."

"Yeah."

"How long do you think before they totally flip shit."

"I'd give it thirty minutes."

Sadie nodded, slowly, stepping around James and letting her hand graze his crotch, "Well, I need to take a shower. I don't know about you…"

James chugged the remaining milk and set the glass on the counter, watching as Sadie sauntered into the bathroom, a coy look on her face as she looked at him over the shoulder. James waited for her to close the door, then another minute. Sadie, nude and annoyed, threw open the door. She glared at him, "Don't be a dick, come on."

He chuckled, nodding and jogging over to the fuchsia-painted bathroom, wrapping his arms around Sadie and kicking closed the bathroom door.


	6. six

**author's note: **meh, meh, meh. chapter six? REVIEW, PLEASE! it means so much to me, and imma start doing what I did for Cool Kids on the Side and send out previews to those who answer the questions! (: i've made a rule not to post chapters when i'm skeptical about them, but i missed Sunday, so i had to. hope you like it, loves 3  
><strong>review question: <strong>what song reminds you of Sadie and James, would you enjoy a play list?  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>i don't own big time rush.

_the Benefits  
><em>chapter six? get your kicks!  
><strong>rule three: no dramatic, romantic eye contact during sex.<strong>

James' breath was rough and ragged, his arm was braced against the wall while the other held Sadie close. She was breathing just as hard, a light moan escaping her lips occasionally. The water falling just to the left of them was adding to the steam they, themselves, were creating. Their bodies were drenched and whether it was from the water or their sweat, they didn't care. James' forehead rested on Sadie's shoulder as he grunted and thrust. Her fingernails - or lack thereof - dug into James' back, clutching desperately onto him. Sadie's eyes popped open, James' following shortly thereafter. They looked at each other, their eyes locking. For a moment, they just stayed there, breathing heavily and not breaking the eye contact keeping them together. James held Sadie and didn't dare let her go. Her breath calmed and she closed her mouth before craning her neck to kiss his lips.

Quickly, too quickly, however, Sadie pulled away and - with another look at James - stepped out of the shower. He heard her clear her throat, then heard the click of the door. He stood in the shower for a moment, his hand against the wall and the hot water running down his back. James turned toward the faucet and eyed it before reaching forward and jerking it to cold. He shivered, trying desperately not to make any noise. Shutting the water off, James gathered his things and shook his hair dry before leaving Apartment 3H, as quietly as possible.

Sadie sat on the edge of her bed, her hair dripping and soaking the comforter and sheets. She wanted to move, if she didn't she'd have to change her bedding - which would be a pain in her ass. But, for some reason, something was brewing in her stomach and Sadie's desire to make it stop was stronger than the one keeping her from drying herself off. She huffed and puffed, resting her chin on her hands that dented the tops of her knees. What the hell just happened.

What the hell just happened. James mind was frantic. He needed it to be concentrating on his excuse, not Sadie. Damn Sadie. He couldn't think of anything he did wrong. Maybe it wasn't him. Maybe Sadie did something? He scratched his head in thought as he stepped off the elevator and into the lobby. He waved, half-heartedly to Mister Bitters and flipped his hair, unenthusiastically at some girls. When he reached Apartment 2J, he sighed before opening the door.

The boys sat on the couch, Logan and Carlos arguing over a video game controller. Kendall trying to break them up. All three snapped their heads towards the door at the sound of it closing. James' eyes darted to the clock on the stove, eleven o'clock exactly. The trio across the apartment stood, "Where have you been?" Logan asked, motioning to James' attire and wet hair. James shrugged, "You alright man?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." James nodded, "Just went for a jog."

"Why's your hair wet, then?" Carlos asked, stepping towards his taller friend.

"I went to the beach…to jog." The boys nodded, leaving it as it was. James excused himself with a wave and trudged to he and Kendall's room. He threw himself on the bed, after swiping his phone off the ground and turning it on. James closed his eyes and rolled over onto his side - he'd had a fear of sleeping on his back ever since Logan told him he could swallow his tongue in his sleep, back when they were kids. The iPhone beside him vibrated a few times before James decided it was time for him to pick it up. He stared at the screen, only partially - if not, not at all - interested in the texts from Twitter. Then there was one more, it was from Sadie.

_Loved your message, loser. (:_

James didn't reply, mostly because he didn't know how. This morning had been too weird for him. He just set down the device - deciding he'd get back to it - then allowed himself to fall back asleep.

Sadie paced in her room, she'd torn off all the sheets on her bed and was thinking of the most logical way to attack putting a new set on. After reassembling her phone, she'd listened to James' less-than-comfortable message and sent him a reply text, as a joke. After this morning, she just wanted to clear the tension. In the background, from the living room, Jesse McCartney's "Beautiful Soul" started playing. Her face scrunched and she rushed out to change it to a more appropriate Bruno Mars, "Lazy Song". She sighed, sitting down in the white chair behind her, but immediately jumped up like it was burning hot. Sadie stared at the seat, and backed up down the hallway again. She went back to her room and threw open the blinds, scoping out the outside world. There were kids by the pool, naturally, and some sprinkled in the park. This day was too much, it was getting to _As the World Turns _dramatic.

Sadie and James weren't like this. She knew she was doing that thing, that signature "Sadie Grant" thing where she overanalyzed everything. Sliding open the window, Sadie took in the delicious March air, breathing deeply. She could hear her phone ringing, lightly, underneath the blasting music. The lilt of Panic! At the Disco's "She Had the World", Sadie had a text. She casually walked to her phone, picking it up and examining it. James, thank Jesus.

_You've officially worn me out, Sadie._

She laughed. _I told you, I'm an animal. Did poor baby James crash?_

After a moment, James sent another text back. _I've created an entirely new definition for the word: exhausted. This morning was great though, right?_

James sat, back resting against the headboard of his bed. He tossed his phone up in the air a few times, completely and painfully nervous for some reason. And then, it happened. The reassurance, the vibration of an iPhone and the text that read: _Better than great. Shower sex is a definite win. We simply MUST do it again, ol' chap!_

_Your accent even sucks when it's via text, Sades._

Sadie scrunched her nose, but chuckled a bit. _Asshole._

A series of knocks at James' bedroom door, and the entrance of Logan pulled the cocky grin off of James' face. They were discussing touring options; venues, show order, it was slowly becoming more and more real. The tour started in July and went through October - they're album dropping in May. The shorter brunette waved for James to follow with a, "Time to go."

James nodded, "Yeah, one minute."

He read Sadie's text. A smile etched back on his face, then clicked his reply. James tossed his phone on the bed and followed after Logan. Gustavo had put a ban on cell phones at rehearsals, meeting or within Roque Records walls. James checked himself out in the mirror before jogging out to meet with the guys, then off to the studio he went.

Sadie's phone vibrated as she entered her room - having gone to the bathroom. She plopped down on the stripped bed and lay on her side, reading it. A knot formed in her stomach and throat as her eyes scanned the small screen. Immediate guilt washed over her and Sadie bit her lip. She lazily rolled over so she was on her back, her hand holding the Blackberry out to the side. She sighed, running a hand through her hair and then looked at the text once more. She had hoped James didn't notice her distance this morning - or had at least forgotten about it. She hoped that after she'd seen that look in his eyes, that spark, and rushed away that he'd just let it go. Wishful thinking never got her anywhere, however.

So, Sadie typed the only thing she could say to: _I'm really sorry for whatever I did. You're a really cool girl, Sadie. And I like having you as a friend._

_You, too, James._

Sadie then dragged herself out to the living room, throwing her body on the couch and acting like a corpse. She stayed there until, gradually, she became tired and fell asleep. It was hours later that she woke up, her phone vibrating beneath her. She maneuvered, uncomfortably. She'd slept on it, her phone, and it was lit up with James' face. Sadie was nervous, but she answered. They rarely called each other - if not, not at all. She pressed the green button and pressed it to her ear, "Hello?"

"Hey." James' voice was quiet, for James. "Were you sleeping?"

Sadie rubbed her eyes, and cleared her throat. "Uh, no, it's fine. What's up?"

"Let me in."

Sadie laughed, standing up and walking to her door. She opened it, with a smirk on her face, and eyed the boy before her. He was dressed in his pajamas again. Sadie cocked her hip, titled her head, and hung up her phone, "This sleeping over thing, it's not going to become a habit, is it?"

James didn't speak. He just stepped forward and pulled Sadie into him. She felt what she hadn't seen before - James was turned on. More than Sadie had ever felt before. She raised her eyebrow and pulled away. James just smirked down at her, a dangerous look in his eyes. Sadie was about to say something, and damn it was it going to be witty, but James reached behind him and closed the door, grabbing her face and shoving his tongue roughly back into her mouth. Sadie giggled into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and jumping up to wrap her legs around his waist. She wasn't going to protest if he was this horny. She let him run his hands along her thighs, cupping her ass, and let out a light moan of, "James."

James stopped, kissing her neck and up to Sadie's ear before whispering, "Wake up, Sades. Sadie."

Sadie stopped her moaning, her calling of James' name and looked at him. She blinked a few times, but he kept repeating the same thing, "Wake up, Sadie." Then, with a thud, Sadie landed on the ground. When she opened her eyes, she was on the floor by the couch and the light of the late afternoon was pouring through her window. She sat up, her eyes wide and full of confusion, "What the fu-"

"Shit, Sadie. I didn't think you'd fall that hard." James laughed, from her left. Her head snapped towards him, a glare set on her tired face. She pushed him, hard, backwards. He kept laughing, cradling his arm.

"You dick. I was…do you even…how the hell did you get in here?" She stuttered, her hand to her forehead in frustration, "And stop looking at me like that."

James smirked, "Was it good?"

"Was what good, James?"

"The sex? You were moaning my name."

Sadie face flushed and her eyes went wider than she thought humanly possible. She tried to look away from James, who sat proudly with that damned smirk.

"I wasn't -" Sadie stumbled over her words and mentally kicked James in the groined for being here, "Fuck you."

Sadie pushed herself off the ground and James followed, watching as she stomped into the bathroom. He smirked to himself, no one else could look so damn fine in a worn out, over-sized Guns N' Roses shirt and polka dot panties. Sadie was literally a Goddess, but she was so down to earth all at once. She gazed at herself in the mirror, scrunching up her face and fussing with her now knotted hair. She glared at her tore up reflection, convinced that no one looked this awful when the woke up, and finally stepped away. She went back into the living room and plopped onto the couch. James joined her, after kicking off her shoes, and laid across her body, grinning at her "Oof" upon impact. He grabbed the remote before she had the chance and clicked on the TV.

For a while, they sat watching AMC's _The Walking Dead,_ quietly and content before Sadie spoke up, "Hey, James?"

James, having sat up, turned and looked at her, his hand supporting his head. He smiled and nodded, "Yeah."

"We're cool, right?"

"Yeah." he repeated.

Sadie nodded, herself, and turned back to the TV as a guy's intestines were ripped from his body. Sadie bit her fist and games let out a loud, "OH SHIT." Before Sadie laughed and shook her head, "Okay! New rule, effective now: Sadie picks all programs, television or otherwise, from now because James is a sick twisted fuck."

James glared at her, his hair mussed and sticking up in odd places. He grabbed a pillow and threw it at Sadie's face, a dead hit. She gaped at him, angry and with her own throw pillow in hand. The two glared at each other, playfully, for a moment before Sadie pounced on James and shoved her pillow into his face, holding him down and mock suffocating him. Sadie screamed a cry of accomplishment and threw her head back in laughter before James threw her off of him and landed on the floor on top of her. Sadie struggled to squirm out from under him, but managed and sprinted towards her room, giggling, James in tow.


	7. seven

**author's note: **if there were a website, dedicated entirely to Big Time Rush fanfiction, would you be interested? also, my fingers a like…numb right now, it's freezing in my house. and I love you all, a lot. REVIEW LIKE THE APOCOLYPSE WOULD BE STOPPED IF YOU DID. see below for shout outs cool kids! and, alright, i lied. you don't get a preview because it's EARLY and i'm posting another tomorrow. but i'll send out a preview three hours before i do so. i was just exited about this chapter because things finally get...well, a bit heated (;

**review question: **i did this for my Kendall/OC story, too, but what's the best couple name for James and Sadie? go crazy!  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>i don't own big time rush.

_the Benefits  
><em>chapter seven? what a Heaven!  
><strong>rule four: no romantic glances, stares, or daydreams - ever.<strong>

The infamous quartet zoomed through the Palm Woods, poolside, and out to the park - each on their respective skateboards. James raised his cheesy shooter hands, clicking his tongue and winking at a passing ten - a hot blonde, busty and sun kissed. Kendall gave her the nod, rolling up after James. Carlos smiled, charming but mysterious, and Logan stopped, kissing her hand and picking up his board. She giggled and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

The other three boys stopped, as well, watching their boy with proud expressions etched on their faces. James nudged Carlos, who nodded at Kendall, who smirked. He took a few steps forward, determined, as the blonde was scribbling something on Logan's hand. Kendall stepped up beside him and draped his arm over his shoulder, "Baby, come on. I want some ice cream." he pouted, exaggerating every word.

The girl's eyebrow raised, as she looked from Logan to Kendall. Logan stammered, pushing Kendall away from him, "We're not…he's not...I like girls."

Apparently she bought it, because she bit her pen and giggled a bit, "Well, call me."

Kendall looked to James and Carlos, shrugging. The urged him on, and Kendall seized the opportunity. When Logan turned, the girl Kendall heard his friend call Rachel, stood, watching him retreat. Kendall walked up behind Logan, grabbing his ass and squeezing. Logan jumped and punched Kendall's arm, harshly, while in the background James and Carlos laughed, breathless. The girl, Rachel, slowly started to walk away, but not before watching Kendall mouth the words, "He's mine."

Logan was, to say the least, not amused, "Do you guys want me to die a…" he tried to gather the most intelligent words, not wanting to sound completely pathetic.

James and Carlos, having caught their breath, gave each other another glance. James counted to three on his fingers and the pair, loudly - and louder than needed - said, "Virgin?"

Logan's eyes darted around the park. Anyone within a fifty-foot radius causally stole their glances over at the gaggle of boys. Kendall slapped his knee, laughing hysterically, Carlos joining him. James didn't think it was that funny, and clearly, Logan didn't find his embarrassment comical at all. So, being the damn awesome friend he was, James slung an arm around his friend's shoulder and walked down the concrete path, a casual smirk on his face, "Come on, dude, we're messing with you."

Logan pushed him back, "Yeah, yeah, I get it. Me being a virgin is hilarious. But I'll have you know, I've had plenty of offers." He turned to Kendall and Carlos behind him, "Plenty."

Kendall chuckled, "It's not a competition, Logan. Carlos has only slept with one girl."

Carlos rubbed the back of his neck, "Alright, let's drop it."

Everyone knew that was a sore subject for Carlos. Their sympathetic eyes showed that. It'd taken Carlos a long time to get over Kate - Gustavo's temporary assistant a while back, after Kelly had her appendix taken out. James quickly changed the subject, "And Kendall, well, I'm pretty sure he's gay." He shrugged, "I wouldn't be surprised if he was lying about Jo."

Kendall shot James a look, one that James gave right back. He was fully aware Kendall wasn't gay, but there was some truth in the statement; he was lying about Jo. Not her being in New Zealand - still - but they're relationship. Of course, the whole thing had been one big, hazy, teenage drama mess. Still, honesty was always the policy of the four boys - which made James a total hypocrite. Whatever, though, right. He wasn't lying, he just didn't share Sadie with them.

It was totally different.

Logan pointed to a clear spot on the grass. The boys all collapsed onto the ground, their day off had been an eventful one. The beach first, then an arcade on the boardwalk, skateboarding through the Palm Woods - despite Bitters trying to chase them out, and now it was the wind down. After this, Logan and Carlos would more than likely head back to the apartment, playing some video games or watching a movie, Kendall would go do whatever it was Kendall did - picking up helpless, star struck chicks. And James, James would go to Sadie.

James looked around the park, at the surrounding groups. There were kids, a lot of them, ranging from eight to fifteen. He sighed, he was way too old for this shit. He'd be turning twenty this year and he was still living with Kendall's mother - not even his own mother! - which he thought was a bit more pathetic. He ran and hand through his hair and propped himself on his elbows, "Hey, guys?" They all looked up. "You ever think about moving outta here?"

Kendall's mouth curled and he nodded, "Every day."

Carlos shrugged and Logan followed, "I mean, I guess." Carlos sighed, looking at what James had already inspected. "We've just had so many memories here, you know? It'd be weird being anywhere else…"

Logan pointed to Carlos, his head nodding up and down, "Agreed."

"Yeah," James said. "But what's really keeping us here? I mean, sure - Gustavo still pays for it. But we've got enough money now to get our own apartments, right? We're bachelors, we need to branch out. Spend time with other people."

"Are you…breaking up with us, James?" Kendall said, in mock shock. He put his hand to his heart, "I think I need a tissue, this is all too much."

James shoved his friend, "I'm serious."

Logan picked at the blades of grass beneath and to the sides of him, "We're the only friends we've got, though, when you think about it."

"And, even outside of us, the friends we do have are friends with all of us. There's no escaping it." Carlos added.

James immediately thought of Sadie. She was his one-up on the guys. He shook his head, "I'm not saying we're gonna stop being friends, guys. Just that we need our space. We need to grow up and stop living with a woman we refer to as "Mamma Knight", you know?"

The group fell silent for a second before Kendall stood and wiped his hands on his pants, "I gotta head out. The night awaits." The boys laughed, "I'll see you guys later. I'm gonna go "branch out", for a while."

Again, they chuckled, and the three others stood. Carlos excused himself, heading in the direction of 2J, and Logan waved his goodbye, going to see if he could still catch up with Rachel, "Easier than calling her." He shrugged before sprinting off. James smirked, his hands in his pocket, and nodded.

He looked up, the sun was still bright for late afternoon, so there were plenty of people at the pool. James sauntered over, scanning the crowd. He spotted a girl with her back to him. Her skin was copper almost, it looked like it was shining, and her navy blue bikini was just skimpy enough. He smirked to himself, ready to approach. Then, when she turned, he noticed something familiar. On her right side, hidden just enough, but still visible, was a small pistol tattoo. Sadie.

Immediately, James pulled out his phone and got to texting.

_How am I supposed to ram you at your place if you're at the pool._

Sadie's phone vibrated next to her head. She sighed, picking it up and reading the text. She laughed, getting a few glares from the relaxing girls next to her, she glared back, "Sorry I'm not sorry." she mumbled before typing back.

_James fucking Diamond, you're so romantic it kills me. _

James laughed, himself, watching as Sadie glanced around. He stood there for a moment, his phone in hand and his eyes on her. She was, honestly, one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen, save for Emma Watson - who wouldn't return any of James' fan letters. Such shit. He wanted nothing more than to run over there and literally rip her bathing suit off, and he hadn't the slightest idea why. He smiled, though, thinking about it.

Sex with Sadie, poolside.

It was only when his phone vibrated, again, that he came out of his momentary trance. It was Sadie, she was staring right back at him, a curiously confused look on her face. James waved, awkwardly, and grinned again.

_You look crazy, James. Gettin' hard over there?_

James looked down, as if she could see, and let out a sigh of relief to see that the bulge in his tight pants wasn't any worse than normal. Boy was packin' heat. James' thumbs hit his screen, while his eyes stayed on Sadie who was throwing her hair up into a ponytail.

He didn't wait for her to get his message, just started heading towards 3H. Sadie picked up her phone and read it, _If you're not naked, standing in front of me, in three minutes you're dead._

Sadie grabbed her towel, her bag and her shirt she'd used as a cover up, snatching up her phone last and tucking it in her bathing suit top - for lack of hands to carry it with, comfortably. She sprinted down the hall, up the stairs and to her apartment. James stood outside her door and Sadie smirked, "It's unlocked" She called down the hall. James' head turned and he locked eyes with her, a small smile creeping onto his face.

He pushed up the door and Sadie ran over, neglecting her things in the doorway and jumping up to latch onto his hips. James, gladly, took hold of her and kicked her things inside, while Sadie busied herself with his mouth. James set Sadie on the counter, allowing her to pull off his shirt and throw it across the room. James hand ran up her back, unhooking the bra-resembling top as Sadie slipped her arms out of it. She looked down, her phone hitting the tile of the small kitchen, and laughed. James' eyebrow went up, "What?"

Sadie pointed to her breast, unable to speak, "It's -"

James looked down, the imprint of her keys were pressed into her chest. He chuckled lightly, gradually letting it build up. Sadie calmed, her abdomen hurting, and let out a quiet sigh. James was still laughing, gently, when she pushed at his chin so he'd look at her. It didn't feel like the other day, in the shower. Sadie was glad to be making eye contact with him. She grinned and leaned forward, slowly, her eyes looking from James' lips to his eyes. James closed the space between them, his hand reaching up and feeling Sadie's body from her cheek to her hips.

He was so taken aback by her, most of the time, that when she did shit like that it was like she was other worldly. Something about her looking at him like that, she was horny - yeah, who wouldn't be? - but she had this softness in her eyes. James wanted Sadie more than ever in that moment. He pulled her to him, as she fiddled with the button on his jeans. She finally got it undone and James lifted her up, walking towards the couch and kissing down her neck, discarding his pants somewhere at the edge of the counter.

He laid her down on the couch and kissed her lips, "Condom." She said, her breath heavy, "Get one."

James looked around, "Oh, shit."

He went back to his pants, raiding his pockets for his wallet. When he didn't find it, he looked to Sadie who sighed and said, "Top drawer, to the left."

James sprinted down the hallway - as fast as one could, with the current situation in his pants - ran into her room and threw open the dresser drawer. He took a moment to admire the skimpy thongs and, what was that, a corset, Sadie'd kept hidden away, but ultimately left them and snatched up a Trojan. He made his way back to the living room, calmer this time and with a sort of limping, I've got a boner, swag. He smirked, "We're going to have to talk about that lingerie, Miss Grant."

Sadie smiled, "Hey James." He looked at her, mid-opening the wrapper, and grinned. Sadie lay, her arms thrown behind her head, on her back, with her legs together and to the side to better look at James. She giggled and said, "I want you to draw me like one of your French girls."

Shaking his head, James ripped open the wrapper and dropped his boxers. Sadie's eyes went wide. She bit her lip and mumbled, "Well, hello."

James positioned himself on top of her, "That's the sexual build up from three days with all dudes, Sadie."

She giggled as James nibbled her collarbone, "Well, we'll have to remedy that, won't we?" Sadie maneuvered so she was level with James' face and whispered, "Come here."

The two lay, panting, James' still in between Sadie's legs, his head resting on her chest. She had her arm over her eyes, breathing heavily, and giggling in spite of herself. That was beyond amazing. Sadie, for a moment, strongly considered holding out for three days again, if that's what he was like. Sadie's eyes roamed the room, her breathing calming along with the rising and falling of James head. She spotted her Wii, in the corner, and a mischievous smirk spread across her sweat soaked face, "James."

"Yeah?" He looked up, a lazy smile on his face.

"You know what would be fun?" He shook his head. "Naked Just Dance 2."

James rolled over on his side and laughed. When Sadie didn't start laughing along, he looked at her once more, "Oh, shit. You're serious?"

Sadie nodded, "Come on!"

"Sadie."

She pushed his head off of her and stood, skipping over to the television and starting up the game. James groaned, sitting up on the couch. Sadie noted that he looked really hot when he was naked on her couch.

"Sadie." He repeated, "I'm beat. You've drained me of all energy."

"James, I think you're missing the point." She walked to him, her hands resting on his knees and her face close by his ear. She nibbled on his ear lobe, "Naked." Sadie moved her lips to his jaw, "Just Dance." Her eyes met his and she smirked, kissing his lips and pulling at his lip with her teeth, before mumbling, "Two."

James, in a trance and trying not to get worked up again, stood and with a voice dripping of reluctance, said. "Alright, naked Just Dance 2."

Sadie zoomed through the songs, biting her lip, her hand on her hip, and rocking back and forth on her heels. James watched her, after securing the controller to his wrist, and couldn't stop grinning. He'd occasionally look away and point to the screen, suggesting they do whatever song she was currently on. Sadie kept shaking her head, she knew exactly what she wanted to do. This wasn't the first time Sadie had thought about it.

In fact, just the other day, Sadie was half-heartedly doing the Duet Medley, out of boredom, and letting her mind wander. The song Katti Kalandal started playing - a Bollywood type song with little meaning to her. But then, Sadie started to think of her life as a Bollywood movie. She started to imagine James and her, in India, dancing and smiling. He imagined the Indian sunset behind them as James leaned down to kiss her, and ever since then she was hell bent on dancing with him - feeling his hands on her body, pulling her in every direction, twirling her around. The whole thing was an erotic daydream she couldn't shake.

James shook his head, not for the first time, at the song choice and laughed. He wanted to know what went on in that girl's head sometimes, but he went along with it. Sadie couldn't stop laughing the whole time. It would have been painfully awkward had she been dancing and jumping around in the buff with anyone else, but with James she was so comfortable. It was like he was a chick, her friend. Not that she often danced nude with other girls, though she was sure James would just love that. No, Sadie and James were just friends. And it was perfect.

James smiled at Sadie, popping up from behind her as the song called for. He made a different face each time they did such, and it made Sadie giggle her contagious giggle. James' eyes went to the screen, he stopped her dancing, grabbing her waist, and pulling her back. The score was less than impressive, on his behalf, and he wasn't about to lose to Sadie. He needed to prove to her this boy band thing wasn't the load of shit she claimed to think it was. He started dancing again, hitting the moves hard. Sadie sat on the floor behind him, laughing hysterically and throwing her head back. The muscles in his ass were clenching and he looked ridiculous. Sadie stood, walking over to the TV and shutting it off, "We'll call it a tie." She removed the controller from his wrist and looked up at him, through her eyelashes - which, James noticed, were very long. "Dance with me for real."

This was it for her, this was as close to the Bollywood daydream as she was getting. James wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in, and Sadie's hands were lazily hanging onto his neck. She smiled, brightly and wide. James kissed her nose and started swaying. They stood their in silence for a while before Sadie rested her head on his chest and listened to his heart, "You smell funny." She whispered.

James looked down at her, or the top of her head, and rolled his eyes, "You look funny."

Sadie grinned, "Sing to me."

"Uh," James breathed, "Alright." James took a moment, thinking of the right song, then eased his way into it with the chorus. "All my single ladies, all my single ladies. All my single ladies, all my single ladies. Now put your hands up."

Sadie immediately stopped, looking at his eyes and pulling back. Her eyebrows arched and she burst into a fit of laughter. James smiled, proudly, down at her - his own cleverness being a pleasant surprise to himself. He let Sadie laugh for a while longer before picking her up bridal style and mumbling, "Come on." Before taking off for her room.

_reviewers get rewards_:  
><strong>StuckAt9.99 <strong>- it's actually really weird that you mention ATL, because - first of all - I LOVE ALL TIME LOW, second of all, I actually made a play list prior to writing this, to get myself in the zone, and that song is on there. and yes, Sadie is aware of the tour (:  
><strong>jchamberz <strong>- I can't describe how much your review meant to me, honestly it gave me the boost of confidence I needed, right now. so, you're amazing for that. We the Kings, yes. winner. I'll have to check that song out, though, I'm not sure I've heard it.  
><strong>bradytheboss887 <strong>- LONGEST REVIEWER EVER. I love it! and, yet again, I have that song on the play list I made! and don't fret, we'll find out what Kendall's up to - in case others DID forget - in a short while! (:  
><strong>kaitlin <strong>- I wish you had a username! ah! no preview for you, sorry ): but, oh my goodness, I LOVE that video. I would do horrible things to have that boys babies!  
><strong>angel2u <strong>- I know, right? damn me for not allowing it! DAMN ME TO HELL! lolzzz. (:  
><strong>xNicola<strong>: Enrique Iglesias, nom nom nom nom. perfect song for it, love it! and welcome! I'm delighted to have you reading!  
><strong>michahmorris<strong>: don't fret, you'll understand soon enough! and welcome, as well!  
><strong>Sammy<strong>: whore. (: lovess youuu.

you guys are swell. if I've still got your attention, review and throw in the words "BREAKIN' THE RULES" into said review.


	8. eight

**author's note: **second chapter in less than twenty-four hours *brushes dirt off shoulder* can't even step, world, CAN'T EVEN STEP. i hope you all enjoy it, I'm getting so into writing this, I love it like it's my own infant child. also, i think pretty much everyone said Jadie (even though it's close to Jatie...i should've thought that through when naming Sadie..oh well.) i'm actually kind of partial to Sames, because i can spell it Samezzz. but that's just me, you guys picked Jadie (: check out dah bottom for goodies! also, again, i didn't get around to sending previews. but i'm really sorry and it was late! meeeeeehhh. i love you guuyysss. (:

also. ELEVATE! 11/21/11 - which, also happens to be my sisters birthday (:

**review question: **was this chapter cute or just awful. how do you feel about James and Sadie cute moments, huuh?  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>i don't own big time rush.

_the Benefits  
><em>chapter eight? don't you hate!  
><strong>rule five: no letting it interfere with work.<strong>

Gustavo was on another make-over kick, and the boys, collectively, were about to kick his ass. But, the man insisted that with every album came subtle, but important changes, "Madonna just got lucky, alright. Drastic rarely works. She's the exception to the rule." He ranted.

James rolled his eyes, Logan sighed and Kendall laughed at Carlos who had fallen asleep in his chair. That nap was short-lived, however, when Gustavo slammed his fists onto the table and shook the boy awake. From there, hell broke loose. Make-up artist, hair stylists, personal dressers, it was an ongoing routine that James should have been used to, but changing his look so many times got more than frustrating. For the first album, it was about getting the hometown hunks on the map. Second album was to establish there place, alongside the likes of Justin Bieber, as teenage heartthrobs. And now, with the third album, they were focused on breaking out of their "good guy", clean cut act and easing into sex appeal and dangerous rock stars, with a soft side. Carlos became what Gustavo called the "latin lover with a smile to charm the panties off of even the most prudish, eighty-year-old women", to which Carlos grimaced but, went with it - as if he had a choice. Logan was dubbed the smart, sexy, and funny guy who could rock your world with wink. Kendall, being the original goofball, became a mix between a quick witted smart ass and a charming prince - because, in Gustavo's eyes, that was possible. James, however, got the easiest change. Gustavo declared him the "Justin Timberlake, circa his first solo album".

Which is why, instead of dancing just the four of them, each boy was assigned a partner in the form of dangerously attractive girls. James was convinced, however, none of them had an IQ over six. Just six. He backed up his dancer, a redhead, Lane - as did the other boys, Kendall with a sassy black girl called Deanna, Carlos with a blonde named Bennie and Logan with a short, brown and blonde streaked hair known as Heather. They were a thrilling bunch. Lane grabbed the front of James' shirt, sliding down his body, and grinded against him. He sang as best he could, but she was fucking up the choreography and it was getting on his last nerve.

He threw his hands up, "I can't do this."

"Stop, stop." Gustavo ordered, waving his hands. "What's wrong, James?"

"Since when is pelvic thrusting and shoving your ass in someone's crotch dancing? I just…" James sighed, "Never mind. Sorry. Just, don't pull me down like that."

Lane looked offended. She sneered and flipped her hair, "Sorry."

James waved her off, giving Gustavo a thumbs up to start the music again. Kendall came up behind him and patted his shoulder, "Get it together, man."

"I got it, Kendall." James said, through closed teeth. He started singing and Lane and the others danced around him. Carlos, Logan and Kendall all twirled their girls, and Lane strutted around James. He made eye contact with her. Her eyes were the same shade as Sadie's, he noticed. James didn't look away as Lane threw her head back. This was fucking with his head, she looked like a red-headed, less tan version of Sadie. That, or James was more exhausted than he thought. Suddenly, James was really into the dance. He gripped Lane's hips and moved with them in a circle. She giggled and turned to face him. James grabbed her face, throwing the microphone down and kissed her. It was only when she bit his lip to stop him that he realized it wasn't Sadie he was kissing. He'd gotten caught up in the moment and looked like a total ass.

The music stopped. Carlos came from James' left and laughed, "Dude. We're not selling tickets to Thunder from Down Under."

James pushed him back, running his hand through his sweaty, chocolate brown hair. "I…I'm sorry. I need a minute."

Gustavo was fuming, he screamed a bit and Kelly tried to calm him down. She put a hand on his shoulder, another on the microphone at his table, and dismissed the boys. "Thanks guys, let's just…call it a night, yeah?"

The four nodded and James was gone. He sprinted out of the studio, down the stairs of Roque Records and to the street. Riding in the same car with those three, he'd never hear the end of this. No, James needed something else. He whipped out his phone when his feet hit the concrete and texted her, quickly and hastily.

Sadie pulled up her leg warmers, afterward standing tall and gazing, skeptically, at her reflection in the floor length mirror. She sighed, exasperated, at her pale pink leotard, skin tone - or as close as she could get to it - tights, pitch black spandex, heather grey leg warmers and a bun that'd taken her an hour to spray the hell out of and get just right. She looked desperate. Desperate and needy, like she was the stuck up snob her mother always wanted her to be - as a dancer. It was a hellish stereotype that her mother filled when she was a prima ballerina bitch, before she got knocked up with Sadie. Now, she just chose to live vicariously through her daughter, and even though Sadie was miles and miles away from Evelyn Grant - the stage mother to rival all stage mothers - she still found herself striving for perfection. The whole thing - their whole relationship - was very Black Swan, only without the lesbian sex scene with Mila Kunis and stabbing herself in the abdomen with a piece of mirror. Sadie wasn't crazy…yet.

She bit her lip, her hands going through the different positions, making positive she looked just as she wanted. She'd been a little rusty on her ballet, after she dropped it her Junior year. First, second, turned out, parallel. Sadie had been running the motions in her brain since she got the call for this damned audition. What she needed now was the perfect look. She continued examining herself, mumbling and pinching at her stomach with a disgusted look. Leotards weren't flattering on anyone - they either made you look morbidly obese or only further extenuated the fact that you were complete flat in the chest. Finally, she surrendered, throwing her hands up and stomping, aggravated, out of her room.

She stepped the five feet it took to turn into the computer room - almost completely barren, with only a small desk and one bookshelf that nearly covered the wall. The room wasn't totally purposeless, however, the closet was much needed. Sadie had brought literally everything she owned with her from Maine to Los Angeles, in fear that her mother would throw it out in an abandoned, angry fit. So, the thick sweaters and sweaters, two pea coats, and a snowsuit were all shoved into the computer room's closet.

Grabbing a cropped sweater, the exact shade of her knitted leg warmers, Sadie was set. This was it - the pivotal moment. New York University or bust. There was the overwhelming sense, in the pit of her stomach, that she was selling out - giving up before she even got started. Sadie was only doing what her father had offered. If she surrendered this dream of dancing, if she just went to college, he'd pay for it. Part of Sadie, however, was damn proud. New York University wasn't cheap. Naturally, she'd picked the most expensive school she could think of, and have a shot at getting into. So, in a way, she was still rebelling. Bribes normally never worked on Sadie, but she was down to her last case of Sprite and running out of money faster than she'd expected. Her graduation cash could only take her so far. So, this was it, she was selling out and, if she made it, leaving L.A.

The next challenge was telling James. As if on cue, her phone buzzed on her bed as soon as she crossed the threshold into the room. She'd hoped it was her Grandmother, wishing her luck - secretly, Sadie knew that wasn't going to happen. When her dad said "He'd pay for it", he really meant, "You're grandmother's willing to pay whatever you don't get in scholarships." Picking up the Blackberry, she immediately regretted looking. It was James.

_I need you. _It read.

Sadie sighed and smoothed down a stray hair, her thumbs trying to shake him delicately, without straight out telling him no, with a witty reply.

_Darling, how sentimental. _

She waited a moment, sitting onto her bed and giving herself a mental pep talk, her eyes lock on her own reflection. James pushed his hair back with a free hand. In the opposite, he held a yellow Gatorade and his phone. Underneath his currently sunglass guarded eyes were dark, heavy bags. His nights, lately, had been restless with the knowledge that, even if he got home at two in the morning from Roque Records, he'd have to be there again within five hours. He started to see the point of sleeping becoming less and less important. He was nineteen-years-old, he shouldn't be this stressed at forty, let alone now. Nevertheless, three years into this damn boy band career and he was lucky he hadn't had a heart attack. That, or a brain aneurism. James sighed, exhausted, at Sadie's response. He wished that she could just be serious for one minute, though he couldn't blame her and his current state of sheer fatigue was probably at some fault. So, with that in mind, James gave her the benefit of the doubt.

_I'm coming over._

Sadie's eyes closed, in immediate response. Her hand tightened around her red, blinking phone. Whatever it was James needed, could wait. This was her day, her moment. Still, she didn't know what was going on, it could be serious. Something bad could've happened. She bit her lip, not even believing she was considering this - skipping her audition, or worse, showing up late. But, before she could even respond and explain to James the situation, a round of knocks rapped at her door. Sadie jumped a bit before she stood and slowly walked down the hall, as though behind the door was a murderer or a tax collector, something far scarier than James Diamond.

She took a glance that NYU DANCE poster hanging over her desk, passing the computer room doorway, and sighed. From out in the hall, James' voice called. Sadie winced, his tone was so distressed, it could kill, as he said her name. "Sadie."

He sounded more desperate than when Sadie tempted him with a blow job - and, boy, did he whine then. Without hesitation, Sadie crossed the living room and opened the door, not too eagerly. She smiled up at James, who leaned on the door frame, his sunglasses in his hand. She offered a quite, "Hey." The softness in her voice startling even herself. She didn't want James to think she pitied him.

James mustered a pathetic smile and mimicked Sadie, with a small, equally gentle, "Hey. Were you doing something."

"Uh, no. No." Sadie took a step to the side and James wandered inside. She closed the door and faced him, "Look, I'm awful with sentiment, so -"

"I know." He interrupted. If there was one thing James knew about Sadie, it was that she was horrible when it came to heart-to-hearts. She was the worst advice giver in the world. He tried another attempt at smiling before giving up and shrugging. "I'm so tired. I just need to vent, that cool?"

Sadie nodded. She could listen, that she could do. James knew, better than anyone she thought, that Sadie Grant took socially awkward to a whole new extreme. James outstretched his hand, nodding his head for Sadie to take it and follow. She did and let him lead her to her own bedroom, which, granted, was a bit weird. Sadie just went with it, watching James flop down on her bed and cover his face. She went from her closet, to her dresser, and back - removing her perfect audition garb and throwing on whatever, which just happened to be another of James' shirts she'd managed to acquire and flannel pajama shorts.

"I think it's starting to get to me." He finally spoke, as Sadie plopped down next to him and lifted his head to lay it on her lap. She started, absent-mindedly, playing with his hair, causing a shiver to run down his spine. "The whole pop star, boy band thing. It's not all it's cracked up to. I mean, I work my ass off, and it's still not good enough, you know?"

Sadie just nodded, that's all she could do, and waited for James to continue. "God, I must sound like a pussy right now, huh? It's just…" He paused, uncovering his eyes and looking up at Sadie. The light from her ceiling fan was shining behind her head, making her look practically angelic. She'd taken her hair down, so it hung in waves around her face and her smile was small, but noticeable. "I'm in the Britney Spears, circa 2005 stage of my career. I'm about to lost it."

"Does that make me K-Fed? Because I can't rock a goatee." Sadie smirked, getting a laugh out of him.

James pulled the hair that had framed her face, previously, to reach her chin and make a faux beard, "I don't know." James smirked, himself. "I've always wanted to date a circus freak."

Sadie's heart froze at the word 'date', without her being able to control it. She covered it nicely, though, with a cheeky grin. James covered his own falter, as well, not meaning to say it; that…word. He assumed Sadie didn't notice. She shrugged over him, "Think of it this way; you get all the sexy flexibility without any of the freak show."

James laughed, a real, honest- to-Oprah laugh, and patted her cheek, mockingly. "None of the freak show, huh? Sadie Grant, you flatter yourself too much."

"Ass." Sadie gaped, hitting James harder than intended in the gut.

His breath caught and he clutched his stomach, groaning. Sadie laughed and maneuvered to straddle him. She looked down at James, mock cooing, "Oh, did widdle Jamesy get a boo boo." He didn't laugh, just nodded. "Want me to kiss it?" Again, a nod.

Sadie lifted his shirt, running her hands along his torso, and gently placed a kiss on each one of his abs. One, two, three, four, five and six. She sat up, chuckling a bit, and then shrieked as James flipped her over. He held her down until she surrendered and stopped flailing her body. James settled back, a hand cradling his head, and Sadie laid across him so half her body was practically on top of him. James gave his friend a tight hug, smelling her hair casually.

Without looking at her, James sighed and said, "I really like you Sadie."

Sadie's eyes were closed, she was tuning into his heartbeat, "Yeah? I really like you, too, James."

He smirked, "I like you more."

"Oh, really. Challenge accepted." Sadie sat up. "Well, I like you this much." She'd sat up on her knees and stretched her arms out to the side as far as they would go.

James sat up next, making Sadie feel significantly shorter. "Well, I like you to the moon and back!" He presented, a proud smirk on his face.

"Touché." Sadie nodded. "But, I'll like you longer."

"I'll like you when I'm fifty, washed up, with a beer belly and a blonde bimbo girlfriend, AND…" James took in a breathe, and sighed. "And, balding."

Sadie put a hand to her heart, "Oh my goodness. James Diamond, that's dedication." Her hand fell and she bit her lip, thoughtfully. James noted, to himself, that she looked really hot in that moment, licking his lips. "It's too bad, though, because I'm going to like you when I'm old and decreped and can't function long enough to wipe my own ass."

She was proud of that one, it was clear on her face. James hated to out do her, but he wasn't one for losing, either. "I'll like you when I'm dead and wandering around in limbo."

"Well," Sadie breathed. "I'll like you…when we come back in the next life as blades of grass and can't do shit about it." With every word, she got closer to James's face, that damned smirk never wavering.

James reached his hand up, his eyes darting from her eyes, to her nose, to her lips and back again. His palm cupped her cheek and Sadie almost felt self-conscious. She bit her lip again, causing James to look into her eyes, "What?" Sadie questioned.

James just looked at her, leaning in slowly, "I'm going to kiss you now."

Sadie barely got a nod in, before James' mouth covered hers, moving perfectly. She gasped, slightly, taken a back by the tenderness of the kiss, but assumed James just thought it was a moan. Sadie, herself, wasn't entirely sure it wasn't. James laid Sadie back, her hair fanning out over the red-cased pillow, and kissed down her neck. She started breathing heavily as soon as James pulled away, she was dazed, laying there and staring at the ceiling. James looked at her and Sadie's voice forced out a quiet, "Wow."

James smirked, "Thank you."

"For what?" Sadie was struggling to manage her breath.

James kissed her again, resting his forehead on hers, "For being the best, hottest, friend who I've seen naked and still feel comfortable around."

Sadie chortled, shrugged, "What are friends for?"

_reviewers get rewards:_**  
>HorrorGurlxOxO: <strong>creeped on your profile, i love the saw movies so much. thanks for reviewing!  
><strong>jchamberz:<strong> you can't tell me you wouldn't love playing Naked Just Dance 2 with James Maslow...because that is something i would love...a lot. (: oh, and, internet high-five to you for NOT breakin' the rules :D  
><strong>angel2u:<strong> i totally made that "lowercase lol" thing my facebook status, you're genius got 12 likes...so...bravo! (:  
><strong>kaitlin:<strong> i'm glad you liked it! thanks for reviewing! (:  
><strong>StuckAt9.99:<strong> they are broken up...well...i mean...NO SPOILERS, sheesh. ruining my plot twists. ugh! (: and agreed, i wish i was Sadie in this made up world *sigh*, and another internet high-five to you, for not breakin' the rules. you totally rock for that (:

you guys rock my world.


	9. nine

**author's note: **I love you. I really do. There's a perfectly logical explanation for the lateness of this chapter. It's a whole week late. To the date. And it's literally late a night, unless you're on the West Coast, I believe. Anyway, I'm just going to say that my mother was in the hospital, so that was a problem. She's alright now, but she had the flu pretty bad. Then, I was just lazy and in the biggest slump of my young life. But, I told my inner child to shut the hell up, turned on some Lionel Richie and put my fingers to the keys to actually finish this whole thing in one day. Sure, I'll probably go through and revise some of it. But, for the most part, it's finished, loves. SO REVIEW!

HOLY SHIT, there's sex in this chapter. PREPARE, BABEZ. It's actually not too intense, I don't think. But it gets better in chapters to come (;

_**REVIEW**_.

**review question: **would you like more james/sadie sexy time or more james/sadie cutsie love gooey adorbs-ness?  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>i don't own big time rush.

_the Benefits  
><em>chapter nine? damn, that's fine!  
><strong>rule six: no cuddling or baby talk, at any time.<strong>

Sadie was starting to notice a change; in everything, herself included. She paid more attention to the way James looked at her, the was she reacted. How he touched her, how her skin tingled against his fingertips. She'd get frustrated, furious with herself thinking about his lips on hers, there was a reason behind this damned "Rules of the Hump" shit she'd offered. Sadie was shit with relationships; the whole commitment aspect scared the living daylights out of her. Really, she was bad with anything ending with the suffix "ment"; including, but not limited to commitment, sentiment, and judgment. It was just a fact of her life, the fickle finger of fate decided it and it was so.

So, in a desperate attempt to separate herself from judgment, she distanced herself from people. In hopes of avoiding sentiment, she was a stone cold bitch to most people. And, in order to steer clear of commitment, she was never actually tied down to someone. Sure, she'd had relationships - or, what she so fondly called, "relationshits" - but that was exactly why when she moved away, and from the end of her senior year she'd swore to make like Mila Kunis in that one movie and only have sex with the hot Justin Timberlake's of the world. Sadie assumed, however, that would have been easier to do if she'd actually seen the movie - that way she'd have guidelines. But, she reckoned, that even in that Mila ended up falling for Justin, because who the hell wouldn't.

In Sadie's situation, James was her Justin. He was perfect in nearly every aspect - except for the fact that Mexican food really tore his ass a new one and he refused to burn a freakin' candle, after an incident in third grade involving matches, Kendall and James' mother's living room curtains. James was sweet, he was obscenely talented, a monster, MONSTER in bed and Sadie was nearly addicted to the way he flipped his hair. But she hated herself for it, she was getting emotionally attached to James. He was the first thing she thought of when she woke up, the last thing on her mind before falling asleep. It was insane, unacceptable and the smallest part of Sadie wanted it to never end. She felt like she was in a sappy, romantic comedy that she harbored at a guilty pleasure and it was killing her.

It was especially difficult when he was around her; ignoring what was going through her mind. Every single time he'd look at her, he'd smile and wink. Every time, without exception, she'd look back, crack a smirk and bite her lip - mostly with the hope that he was going as insane as she was. She knew, from experience and James flat out telling her, that when she bit her lip he couldn't control himself. Sadie wanted to torture James right back, if he was set on unintentionally doing the same to her. In short, Sadie was mess. A jumbled up, confused, smitten mess. It'd only taken four months.

James was starting to notice a change in things around him. He seemed happier, to everyone, and he knew he'd eventually have to tell the guys that he'd been hiding this whole…relationship? That was another thing, was it a relationship, or was James officially the whore of the group. Most of the time, instead of trying to figure shit out, he just pushed it to the back of his mind and focused back on the impending tour. But, when he was around Sadie, it proved to be problematic to think about anything else but her. The way her dark hair fell into her eyes, her hilarious need to be right all the time, her desire to always smell good. The way Sadie smirked, she hardly ever smiled unless she deemed the situation worthy. Sadie was the girl of James' dreams, he'd decided, but she was also becoming one of his best friends. She was like his favorite hoodie; reliable, warm, and ready to wrap herself around him. But you don't have sex with or date your hoodie, do you? No, that's weird.

James found himself thinking about her more and more, which was also a problem. That was all he was thinking about. Sadie this, Sadie that. James would look at a pencil and think about Sadie - how she'd only ever use pencils because her hands suddenly lost all knowledge of how to form words when she used a pen. He'd look up at a clouds and see Sadie's boobs, just there, in the sky for everyone to stare at. He was instantly furious at any guy who dared look up. James was legitimately losing his mind. Shit got real, and it got real, fast.

He thought about bringing it up to Sadie, what they were doing seemed like it was progressing and he didn't want her to get attached to him. However, when he finally found the way to word it, he psyched himself out because, inevitably, he sounded like a totally asshole. _He didn't want her to get attached_. Dick move, especially when he, himself, was becoming more and more attached to her.

So, Sadie pushed it to the back of her mind and turned up the television, settling her head against James' lap. James ignored his racing mind and rested his hand on Sadie's hip, comfortably. She'd called him over about an hour ago, in the middle of her annual Thursday night Supernatural marathon, to hang out. James, having something else entirely in mind, rushed right over, "Sadie."

"James."

"I figured we'd be naked by now."

"Seriously, Diamond. The romance, you're like a pro, aren't you?" Sadie chuckled, "Swoon girls for a living? Seriously, it's…it's gold."

James brushed his knuckles against his chest and smirked, "I do try."

She mock sneered and hit him with a pillow, "Try harder, don't be a little bitch about it. Besides, it'll happen. I'm just getting myself hyped up."

"Yeah, because monster-fighting brothers turns every girl on."

"It should." Sadie said, matter-of-factly, laying back down. "Have you seen Jensen Ackles, James? And don't get me started on Jared and Misha - you could take a lesson from both. And if you'd give me a minute to explain, you'd know how I'm getting turned on."

James eyed her, looking down and raising an eyebrow, "I'm listening."

Sadie paused the TV, pointing with the remote, "See him?" James looked up, she was referring to the guy dressed like a 1980s gym teacher, currently occupying the screen, "He's a babe. And, he's the root to my obsession with sexy gym teachers. I've always wanted to have sex with a gym teacher."

"That's…" James mulled over the thought, "Sick."

"It is not." Sadie protested, hitting his knee, "There's just something so rugged about them. So manly, you know? But there's the sensitive side, too. The side that keeps their clothes coordinated, no matter what. Their Nike's clean and crisp. The side that makes me question their sexuality."

James laughed at her, Sadie's hands moving wildly as she spoke, "So you want to have sex with a fat, balding, worn out gym teacher."

"No." She corrected, "I want to have rough, dirty office sex with _that_. Or my middle school gym teacher, Mr. Sherwood. Dude was a babe. I always imagined him throwing me around and having catchy, save perverted, lines about balls. Absolute perfection."

Sadie looked up at James. He was smirking at the screen and chuckling lightly. She rolled her eyes and pressed play again, ignoring the tingling sensation near her hip as James traced circles, absent-mindedly, on the exposed skin between her shorts and tank top. She bit her lip, creeping her hand under her head to James' crotch. He jumped a bit, gasping like she'd dumped ice cubes down his shirt, and Sadie had to bite back a laugh. James grabbed the remote from her free hand and turned off the TV, ignoring Sadie's gripe. He, in one swift motion, grabbed her legs and picked her up bridal style, "You're ready enough."

"No! Wait!" Sadie laughed, trying to squirm free. She managed, a little, but ended up being tossed over James' shoulder, in a fit of laughter, "I'm pretty sure this is considered rape in at least eight state and parts of Canada."

James had originally thought this was his best idea yet. But he could sense the dent in his hair as he snapped on a sweatband. It'd been three days, two hours, thirty-seven minutes and twelve seconds since James last had sex, and Sadie was going to pay. He almost felt like she'd been avoiding him, but the rational side of his brain told him to not be a little bitch about it - he often referred to that half of his mind as the "Sadie" half. James tugged on the two-sizes, too small gym shorts he'd bought, tucking in his fresh white polo. The armbands on his wrists were a matching white to his sweatband and the knee-high socks, save for the two red lines at the time. His legs were looking muscular, more than usual, but James reckoned it was because the circulation to them was currently being cut off. He pushed his feet into some old sneakers and grabbed the mesh bag of bright red dodge balls he'd borrowed from the Palm Woods school supply closet. Tossing it over his shoulder, he gave himself a wink and stepped out of the bathroom door.

He thanked his lucky stars, and perfected acting skills, that everyone was gone. Twenty minutes ago, James was hunched over a toilet full of "vomit" from some bad sushi he'd eaten. In reality, he'd taken various contents from the refrigerator and blended them together to avoid family movie day. Mamma Knight, he thought, didn't really buy it, but she let him stay behind. He'd taken days to perfect his sexy gym teacher voice, and - ignoring the stares from those in the lobby - practiced it on his way to 3H. He knocked, hard on the door, cocking an eyebrow and trying hard to look appealing.

Sadie swung open the door, her hair in a messy bun and her tooth brush hanging out of her mouth. She looked James up and down and took in a breath. Then, without warning, her toothbrush fell from her mouth and she was in hysterics, clutching her sides. James' smirk never faltered. He waited for her to calm down, spit and wipe her mouth off before he spoke. Sadie was grinning up at him, like mad, and it took all James had not to just kiss her then. Still, he hitched the bags higher on his shoulder, cleared his throat, and in a low, gruff voice said, "Let's play with some balls."

Sadie laughed again and then stood on her tip toes, kissing James with a smile still plastered on her face, before pulling him into her apartment. She closed the door and James tossed the gym bag aside. He smirked at her, flipping his hair as best he could under the sweatband, and continued with his act, "Sadie Grant, you're gym grade is slipping." James was in a power stance. A sexy, gym teacher power stance. Sadie was losing her mind. "You're going to have to do some….extra ball-handling practice for extra-credit."

"Really, now?" She crossed her arms, "And if I refuse?"

"Oh." James chuckled, his voice resembling Christian Bale's Batman, "I have a feeling you won't. But, in that occasion, I'd make you drop and give me…sixty-nine."

It took all Sadie had not to start laughing again. This was too great. She'd wished she had it on tape - a viral video sensation, it would be. James Diamond fulfilling her dirtiest fantasies, dressed like your a-typical gym teacher, hands on his hips. The first real Big Time Rush scandal - a James Diamond sex tape. How kinky. She smirked and look at him, "Anything else? Mister Diamond."

"That's Coach Diamond, Grant." He growled taking a step forward. Sadie never realized how much taller than her James really was until that moment. She almost felt intimidated, then he laughed, "I've got nothing."

She pushed him back, "Damn. Too bad. I guess that's what you're getting."

"Wait," James said, confused. "What does that mean?"

"It means," Sadie turned over her shoulder, having sauntered over to the hallway. She twirled her finger in the air, "You're not getting any, Coach."

Her emphasis on every word made James reel, his gym shorts felt even more uncomfortable now that Sadie'd let the strap on her tank top fall of her shoulder. He growled at her, grabbing a ball from the bag - fast as lightning - and palming it, "Get back here."

Sadie squeaked and ran down the hall, James chasing her, "James, No!"

James caught her at the end of the hall, just before she shut her bedroom door. He wiggled his eyebrows and chuckled, evilly. Sadie loved this. The cat and mouse chase they'd taken a liking to. She'd refuse to have sex with him, he'd chase after her and then, then magic would happen. It was completely cheesy and absolutely wonderful, all at once, James thought. He loved the faux fight she put up. He grabbed her waist and pulled her into him. Her backside rubbed him, just right, and James groaned against her neck, his lips nibbling at her. Sadie couldn't keep the moan at the back of her throat from pushing it's way out. She grabbed James' hands and ran her fingers up his arms. The muscles felt so good under her fingertips, they tingled and James loved it.

James' hand slipped into Sadie shorts, causing her to moan again. He moved his mouth to her earlobe, biting it and whispering, "Bed. Now."

Sadie nodded, and pulled him over. Though, the effort wasn't that much. James was more than willing. She faced him, smirking and yanking at his shirt, pulling it free from the shorts. She hadn't, until that moment, noticed how hard he was. But the spandex, apparently, wanted her to know. James grabbed her chin, gently as possible in the state he was in, and kissed her. Sadie melted, her hands pulling at her own shorts. James' hands were roaming over every inch of her body, and he wasn't sure if he could control himself much longer.

With James shirtless, Sadie naked from the waist down, she climbed backwards onto her bed, her mouth never leaving his. James' hand slid up her shirt, finally, cupping her breast and running a thumb over her nipple. Sadie squirmed under him, and James knew she wanted him just as badly as he did her. He pulled at his shorts, Sadie helping, and successfully tugged them off. He hit the bed, with a balled up fist, in frustration, before detaching himself from Sadie's lips. She eyed him, "What?"

"Condom." He said, breathless, before hopping up and sifting through her drawer. Sadie took the opportunity to remove her shirt, and when James turned around, he grinned. She looked absolutely stunning, laying there propped on her elbows and with that crazed, Sadie Grant look of lust in her eyes. Her hair was even more messy than it had been before and James just wanted to tangle his fingers in the curls. Sadie rolled her eyes, biting her lip, and that was it.

James ripped open the wrapper, rolled on the contraceptive and hopped back onto the blanket-barren bed. He climbed on top of Sadie, kissing down her body, and she found his hair, pulling on it and moaning. He took a moment to admire her body, every inch of it, before going right back to her mouth and kissing her. For a while, they just stayed there. James didn't dare add tongue, in fear of resembling a porno, and Sadie didn't dare touch any part of his body than his head. They, both, wanted nothing more than for their lips to be moving in tandem, occasional moans and grunts filling the otherwise silent room. Then, James thrust against her and her breathing became heavier by the second. She pushed her hips back against his, and felt the bed rock. James watched her as her eyes rolled back in her head, and let out a breathy chuckle before kissing her neck once more.

Sadie rolled over, her breath still heaving. James lay behind her, having collapsed exhausted. He grinned, lazily at her, his sweatband still on but his hair mussed and disheveled. Sadie knew that if he saw himself, he'd die. So, with a smile of her own, she removed the band - ignoring the tugging at her lips, telling her to grimace at the sweat it held - and smoothed back his brown locks. She could see his face fully now, he looked more amazing in the after glow of sex than he did in any situation. There was something so soft about him now that turned Sadie on more than anything in the world. His eyes weren't dark with lust, lit up with laughter or weighed down by stress. They were just gentle, brown, staring back at her like she was the only thing he could see.

She giggled, turning back and curling into his body. James nuzzled her neck, kissing it and pulling her hair back. It stuck to her, but he didn't mind, it gave him a reason to touch her. Sadie sighed, wrapping his arm around her like a blanket. She lifted her head, and James slid his other arm underneath it. Then, he wrapped it around her shoulders, holding her like a teddy bear - close to his body. Sadie looked at the clock; 11:23 pm.

She yawned and kissed James' forearm, "Goodnight, James."

"Goodnight, Sades." And for that moment, James didn't worry about what excuse he'd have to tell his friends, in clear violation of their No Secrets Code. He just took in a breath, kissed her shoulder, and closed his eyes.

_reviewers get rewards_:

**LastBreath-X:** squeeble dee! I'm glad you enjoy this! (:  
><strong>angel2u: <strong>(: because I don't know how else to respond (:  
><strong>katilin: <strong>ah! thank you! I work hard on the cuteness. a lot is personal experience (:  
><strong>bradytheboss887: <strong>13! 13 THE MUSICAL! MY BEST FRIEND WAS JUST _IN _THAT! And babies, no no. NO NO. (:  
><strong>jchamberz: <strong>you're WELCOME. I'm honored you think so highly of this, seriously. means a lot, babez (:  
><strong>StuckAt9.99: <strong>YOUR APPROVAL MEANS EVERYTHING! I'M SO INSANELY HAPPY YOU ENJOY THIS (:  
><strong>laura: <strong>AH! That's awesome! I wish I went to NYU *disappointed sigh*  
><strong>Anon T: <strong>I love how James is breaking all the rules, too. And I love how you are NOT (:

if you're still paying attention, tell me your **favorite color**. mine's orange.


	10. ten

**author's note: **most all of you said more sexy time, you pervs. gosh. luckily, it's what you get. and, perhaps, I'm a bit of a perv as well. because, when I got 69 reviews, I laughed like an eighth grade boy at the number. the maturity of an eighteen-year-old girl, oh sigh. also, if you're a Rusher and on Tumblr, or saw the video by some strange twist of fate, there is a reference to such things…I mean, I'm not going to give it away, but if you know…you know.

carrying on, however, HOLY SHIT GUYS, freaking eleven reviews, you guys rock my world on the reg. seriously. like, who the hell do you guys think you are that you can just…make my day, everyday? BECAUSE IT IS UNACCEPTABLE. but what do you say we try and beat our high score, perhaps go for twelve? thirteen?

I'm totally joking. keep the review coming, babez. I love you ferr lyfe.

also, the songs in this are _If It Isn't Love, _by New Edition, _'Cause I Get to Love You _by Bryan Weirmier, _Back At _One by Brian McKnight and _Fashion of his Love _by Lady Gaga. they're both outstanding, so if you feel the need to listen to both of them whilst reading, go ahead (:

and, OMGOMGOMG more sex. kind of more intense than before, but I don't know. we're trying to keep it relatively classy, here. (;

**review question: **give me a dirty pick up line you think James would use on Sadie, and/or vice versa.  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>i don't own big time rush.

_the Benefits  
><em>chapter ten? let me hear it again!  
><strong>rule seven: no thinking of each other while listening to romantic songs.<strong>

James thumbed through his wallet, legs outstretched and back leant against the trunk of a tree in the Palm Woods park. He picked at his drivers license, smirked at an old picture of he and the guys when they went All-State freshman year, a few condoms here and there. He pulled at one, wrapped in florescent green. It's one that Kendall gave him, issued from Planned Parenthood, when they were sixteen and freshly legal. James smirked at it, remembering how flustered Kendall was, how there was no color in his face when he knocked on James' front door. "_Twenty pamphlets, man_." He said, "_I had to read one on teen pregnancy. I'm a dude, what the fuck do I need with a pregnancy pamphlet_."

James cracked a grin. He shifted in the grass as his iPod changed songs, his Beats blasting New Edition loudly. It was part of Gustavo's project he'd given the boys. Study the fine art of Boy Bands. Anything from New Kids to Backstreet, N*SYNC to New Edition. James was less than pleased, to be honest, he thought he'd ditched assignments when he graduated high school, avoided college like the plague, and continued pursuing this career he'd built with his friends. Still, their task was simple, each boy was assigned a boy band to study, they'd pick a song they most identified with, then they'd perform their own version of it. Kendall and Carlos already picked their songs - "It's Gonna Be Me" by N*SYNC and "Step By Step" by New Kids on the Block, respectively. Logan was nearing his final decision, between "I Want It That Way" and "The Call", by the Backstreet Boys. James was falling behind, he'd barely even listened to New Edition. But, as he focused more on the lyrics to the current song, "If It Isn't Love", his expression changed. He found himself nodding, not along with the beat, but in understanding. This was it, this was the song, and why? It reminded him of Sadie.

"_I don't love her, I try to tell myself. But you can see it in my eyes_." Ralph Tresvant's smooth tenor sang. James closed his eyes a minute, resting his head on the tree behind him, "_So don't deny, I can't fool no one else_."

Kendall got his attention before the lyric finished, James turned down the song, looking up at his friend who was smiling, broadly down at him, "What's up, bro?" He asked, draping the Beats around his neck.

Kendall shrugged, "Why are you out here alone? Mom says it's almost time for dinner."

"I'll be there in a second," James nodded, looking down at his iPod. _If It Isn't Love_. _If It Isn't Love_. "I'm just…um, picking my song for the project."

He took a moment, Kendall, staring down at James and shaking his head. Then, he squatted and patted his friends' knee, "What's really up, bro. You've been acting weird and, frankly, I'm getting sick of it."

"Really sympathetic, there, Kendall." James remarked, pausing his music entirely. Kendall wasn't taking the bait to just drop it, and James knew he'd have to tell him eventually - along with Logan and Carlos. Just not now, not until he knew for sure that he and Sadie were…

"James." Kendall urged.

The brunette shrugged, not for the first time, and ran his thumb across the iPod classic, after tucking away his wallet. He looked to Kendall, who sat directly across from him, "I can't tell you."

"James, I've got two words for you: Bro Code. And I'm not talking the How I Met Your Mother, Barney Stinson Bro Code," Kendall chuckled, "I mean our legit, set in stone since sixth grade Bro Code. You're breaking it."

James sighed, his fingers pulling through his hair, "It's really nothing, Kendall. It's just that I _really _cannot -"

"Tell me. I get it."

"At least not right now." James attempted at explaining. "But, when I can, I will. It's just…really confusing for me, you know? Not being able to talk to you guys about it, it's weird. But, I'd be breaking all the rules if I told you anything."

"Rules?" Kendall laughed, "This chick is more fucked than I thought."

James eyed him, "Who said anything about a chick."

Kendall's eyes went wide, in mock shock, "Wait, James Diamond, are you _gay_? God, it all makes sense now. I always thought I caught you staring at me in the showers during gym class, and when we all went camping that one time - you _woke _up in my sleeping bag, wow! You think you know a guy."

"Fuck you." James laughed, "I'm not gay, and it was freezing, alright? WE swore to never speak of that again."

The two chuckled. It was the greatest part of Kendall and James' friendship, they just understood each other. Not to say that it wasn't the same with Carlos and Logan, for James, because it was. But with Kendall, it was different. They were the leaders of the group, really. Or, more so, Kendall was and James was like co-captain. It had always been that way, and he just assumed it was because they were friends first. He slapped Kendall's hand, patting his back in their usual hand shake, then stood. Kendall brushed off his pants and James flipped his hair before they took off, Kendall with one last remark, "Just tell me, is she hot."

James threw his head back, laughing a short guffaw, then threw his arm over Kendall's shoulder, "Yeah, she's hot."

Sadie threw her phone against the wall, an angry grunt forcing it's way out. She was furious, absolutely furious. There was a reason she left Maine, beyond wanting to make a career out of dancing, and it was to get as far away as she could from her sister, Sarah. And now, after Sadie had confided in her that she'd skipped her audition - without being to specific as to why - Sarah went and ratted her out to her Dad. Of course, that ended just as well as a third World War. It was such shit, Sadie hated teenagers, she hated them with the burning intensity of the fiery pits of hell. Her insides were on fire, she couldn't control her breath, or keep her hands from shaking - and after the tongue-lashing she'd just received from Dear Ol' Dad, it was expected. Sadie paced through her room, her entire apartment, then back to her room. She kept muttering things to herself, she must have looked insane. At this point, however, she didn't honestly care.

Not only was Sadie's Dad not going to pay for any school she got into, he wasn't going to help pay for her rent after June. Sarah was in deep shit, as far as Sadie was concerned. It was an ongoing competition between the two Grant girls, since they were kids. But Sarah, she'd taken it too far this time. This was Sadie's life she was messing with. Snatching up her phone from the ground, Sadie dialed his number as fast as her fingers would let her. James answered not a moment too soon, but was cut off by Sadie's infuriated voice, "Fucking Sarah and her smart-ass fucking mouth!"

James laughed, which only further pissed Sadie off, "Sadie? You alright?"

"Obviously not, Diamond." Sadie yelled. Honestly, she felt a pang of guilt, taking her anger out on James, she knew he didn't deserve it. But Sadie was livid, and Grant's had a reputation for having the mouths of sailors when upset. Papa Grant was no exception earlier, and Sadie wasn't about to be now.

"Alright." James said, his tone soft. It almost made Sadie melt, "I'll be there in five minutes, Sades."

"No, James, I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Snapping, if you haven't noticed, I'm a little bit fucked in the head." She tried to laugh. Sadie sighed, and pushed her hair back, suddenly regretting calling James. Talking to him, explaining this situation, that meant she'd have to tell James that he was the reason she'd missed the audition of a lifetime, for her. She didn't want him to feel bad about something he may or may not have unintentionally be at fault for. Sadie was starting to hate herself, she was getting so caught up in James that she was becoming something other than herself, the girl she'd been for nearly nineteen years. "I just…um…you know what? Never mind, I'll just…blast Lady Gaga and dance my troubles away."

"You sure? You sounded a little…"

"Yeah, I'm good." She breathed, "I'll…see you.

James' voice was reluctant, through the phone, "Yeah, alright. Bye Sades."

Sadie sighed, not saying Goodbye, but hanging her phone up. She needed to calm down, she needed to just let go for the five minutes she had to herself. She sat at the edge of her bed, breathing in an out as an attempt, but as fate would have it, it wasn't working. She bit her lip, rolling her eyes. There was rarely a moment that Sadie couldn't calm herself when she was dancing, she picked her iPod off of the dresser and went out to the living room. Gaga played, quietly from the stereo and Sadie mumbled quietly along with the words, "_I never was the kind of girl that's naturally sure when it comes to love, oh no. I was insecure, insecure_." The start was slow, Sadie rolled her head back, her neck cracking. She kept her eyes closed and stepped blindly around the table.

Lady Gaga's beat picked up and Sadie couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. She spun around, her feet moving frantically. _Never felt like this before, this before. _She crooned and Sadie threw her hands up, jumping around and spinning dramatically through her apartment. She pictured him, when her eyes shut once more, James just smiling back at her. She took in a deep breath and grinned like mad. Sadie imagined his hands all over her, his lips on her neck, his breath against her ear. She lost control whenever she thought of James. Sadie was starting to think she was in more trouble than Sarah, for an entirely different reason, though.

She danced towards the kitchen, as the chorus picked up and sang, poorly, along, "I'm gonna be the one that he loves! I was made for loving him, the fashion of his love!"

The door opened and James crept in, smiling at a hair flipping Sadie. The girl was insane, she was bipolar, but James couldn't get enough, "You weren't kidding about Lady Gaga, huh?"

She jumped at the sight of him, "I told you not to come over."

James shrugged, closing the front door and walking towards her, "You tell me a lot of things. Like, the embarrassing mole you had in fourth grade, just below your -"

"Alright!" Sadie glared at James, but pulled him towards her after a second, "Dance with me." She continued to sing, wrapping her arms around her waist and grinding against him, "No I just can't seem to forget you." Sadie spun to face him, and James kissed her. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she smiled before hanging completely off of him, her legs wrapped mid-thigh. James laughed at her and hoisted her up, "I was made for loving him, the fashion of his love."

Sadie threw her head back, giggling as James kissed her collar bone. He nipped at it, like he always did, and Sadie's laugh turned into a moan. In the background, Gaga still boomed and Sadie's head fogged. James had one hand holding her, the other running up her leg and running over he crotch. He smirked against her lips, kissing her, and Sadie bit at him, playfully.

"You alright?" James repeated, looking in her eyes. Sadie examined his face, he hadn't shave since the last time she saw him, and she couldn't help but note that James Diamond was gorgeous with stubble. She smiled and gently pressed her lips to his, "Taking that as a yes."

James spun Sadie around as Lady Gaga's song came to an end. She kept laughing, looking genuinely happy, and James swore he'd never seen her look so amazing. There, in his arms, Sadie looked right. She looked perfect. James didn't know if it was selfish of him to think so, but he didn't care by then. Sadie grinded herself against him, dropping her legs after and stepping away. She bit her lip, of course, because she knew it drove him mad, then she started down the hallway. She looked over her shoulder, winking, and James examined her. The way her hips swung, how her ass looked near perfect in her jeans. He was proud to say he'd been with her, in any way at all. "Oh, loverboy." Sadie cocked her hip and stared at James expectantly, "You coming?"

James breathed, "That ass, Sadie. That ass."

She turned, looking behind her, "What ass?" Her thumbs latched onto her belt loops, pulling at the front of her pants and exposing more skin than James could handle. She smirked at him, turning back and shaking her hips, "This one?"

Sadie gasped, a shriek blocking it's sound, as James' arms wrapped around her waist and lifted her up from behind. He carried her to her room, tossing her carefully on her bed and wasting no time crawling on top of her. He bit at her neck again, and Sadie gasped loudly, taking a moment to deem herself an official masochist. He could have done just that for the rest of the night, and Sadie would be set. Unfortunately, when it came to sex, Sadie wasn't the selfish type. She wanted James to enjoy this more than anything. James' hand unbuttoned her jeans, and his hand was immediately inside her underwear. His fingers worked her, skillfully, but Sadie wanted more. She whimpered, "James."

"Yeah?" James' voice was low, guttural, as it always was when he was horny. Sadie loved it, how much he sounded like a man, "What do you need, baby?"

Her eyes rolled back, "Stop fucking with me, James. I need you."

James was more than happy to oblige, but he wanted to mess with Sadie a bit longer before he inevitably gave in, and gave her what she wanted. He pulled his hand away and Sadie let out a sigh. Unfortunately, for her, instead of James stripping them both - as normal - he ground his hips into her groin, pressing his jean-covered erection against her. Sadie kept gasping, and she hated herself for sounding so pathetic, but James was toying with her and she hated that more. She glared at him, her eyes hazy, and James just smirked down at her.

Sadie, however, was not so easily swayed by a gorgeous, James Diamond smirk. No, not at all. She pushed him up, rolling them over so she was on top, and tore her shirt over her head. James ogled her body, his hands pulling down on her hips. Sadie shook her head, pulling at his v-neck, and kissing every bulging muscle she saw on the way. James clenched his jaw as Sadie unintentionally, or intentionally - at this point James was a bit unsure - rubbed against his crotch. She slid down his body, and bit the button on his jeans. James' eyes never left hers, he watched in amazement as Sadie unfastened his pants with her teeth, moaning a light, "Fuck Sadie."

She smirked and chuckled a deep, sexy, lust filled chuckle. James was about to lose it then and there. Once Sadie had tugged away his jeans, she removed her own and stood before James in mismatched underpants. He lay on her bed, boxer clad, breath heavily and trying not to look at his own erection that tried to break free of his briefs. Sadie bit her lip, and knelt over him, straddling his waist. She pulled at his shorts, slowly but surely taking them off. James sat up, burrying his face in her chest and Sadie allowed her head to roll back, her hands tangled in his hair now. James' hands traveled down her back, resting momentarily on her ass, then removed her panties, not without difficulty.

He kissed her chest, sucking at the skin, and Sadie moaned his name, "James, please."

James took his time, lowering Sadie gently onto him. She clutched at his back, James loving the familiar feeling of her nails against his skin. Her back arched against him and her eyes shot open. James looked up at her, as if asking her if he could go all in. Sadie nodded, kissing him fiercely, and James thrust up into her. The room was filled with his grunts, her moans, as James continued his thrusting motion. He'd unclasped Sadie's bra and tossed it aside, focusing back on her chest. Sadie's chin rested on his head, her eyes closed, and occasionally, her head would fall back. She was close and James could tell, Sadie always moaned the same thing right before she came, "Come on, Diamond."

James thrust his hips up, once more, and Sadie was gone. It only took James a few more shoves to reach his peak himself, and when he did, he screamed out her name, "Sadie. Oh, God. Sadie."

She kissed his face, his head, his neck as he let go. In the background, she heard the soft sounds of Bryan Weirmier start to flow through her speakers. James was panting beneath her and Sadie smiled down at him. He looked like a God.

James, though feeling immediately weak, lay Sadie down. She settled on her back, then pulled James to her, letting his head rest on her rising chest. For a while, they were silent, as Sadie played with his hair. She hummed along with the song, listening to the lyrics and closing her eyes. James' hands ran along he stomach and he lifted his head to kiss her navel, tenderly. His touch was soft, he was treating her like a porcelain doll. Sadie grinned, in spite of herself, and urged him up to her. James hovered over Sadie, examining her face, "You're beautiful, Sades."

She didn't say anything, just craned her neck to lean up and kiss him. Then, when they'd broken apart, she said all she could, "I know."

James laughed and laid himself next to her, curving his body to fit alongside hers. Sadie faced him and watched as he yawned, "I'm so tired."

"Sleep, then." James didn't need to be told twice. He felt slightly guilty for it, but within seconds, it seemed, he was out. Sadie lay there for what she assumed to be near two hours, listening to his heart, watching him breathe evenly. He was truly outstanding, to her. She kissed his forehead and pulled herself away from him. Snatching his shirt off the floor, she pulled it on and stepped out into the hallway.

Sadie went to the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water, and leaned against the refridgerator in the darkness of her apartment. The music still played, the piano just ending the song. Brian McKnight picked it up, a bit, an R&B tune starting up. Sadie closed her eyes and let out her breath she'd been holding.

James slinked down the hallway, having stirred awake when Sadie left. He turned off the song, watching as Sadie's eyes popped open, "I love that song." He noted, "You alright."

She nodded, smiling, "Yeah."

"Good." James kissed her head, her nose, her lips. Sadie shuttered, "Come on."

"I'm not really tired."

"You don't have to sleep, just come lay with me." James shrugged, pulling her to him and leading her down the hall, "Please."

She nodded, sipping her water and reaching behind her quickly to set it on the counter. She looked up at James, the look on his face was one she'd never seen. He looked at her so deeply, so, she dare say, lovingly. Sadie, however, blamed it on the lack of sleep he'd been getting and the sheer exhaustion also in his eyes. Still, as she crawled into her bed, her head resting on his chest, Sadie also allowed herself to believe it was real, that James Diamond loved her. And just like that, she fell asleep.

_reviewers get rewards_:

**ohdarlingyou: **sexy time it is, my dear. hoping this was satisfactory? (:  
><strong>Gummy'Fish'Lover<strong>: ishlove purple, and The Color Purple - which is a movie…not actualy the…color…(:  
><strong>StuckAt9.99: <strong>we've spoken of your fantasies, which sounds more kinky than I wanted it to. glad you like ittttt (:  
><strong>bradytheboss887<strong>: I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS, that's all though. (:  
><strong>kaitlin<strong>: again, I love me some purple, and Whoopi Goldberg movies not really involving the color!  
><strong>HorrorGurlxOxO<strong>: *tips hat* happy to please, madam. (:  
><strong>When I Make It Shine<strong>: I have every season of Supernatural, so yes, I've seen it. I LOVE J2, so hardcore. (:  
><strong>jchamberz<strong>: YOUR REVIEWS NEVER CEASE TO MAKE THIS GIRL GRIN. seriously, what is with everyone and purple? lovin' iittt. (:  
><strong>Anon T<strong>: my best friends favorite color is blue! and was this cute/sexy enough? (:  
><strong>Malloryxoxome<strong>: ah! wicked, a new adjective. i love it! and i love your unintentionally deep favorite color (:  
><strong>BurstOfSunshine<strong>: erm, I hope this was cute enough? I'll make the next one more cute (:  
><strong>jackie<strong>: eep, glad you enjoy it! (:

oh, hey! you're all still here? alright! Well, put in your review who you'd **_Marry/Fuck/Kill_** out of Andy Samberg, Justin Bieber and Logan Lerman.

mine are:  
><strong>Marry<strong>: Andy Samberg  
><strong>Fuck<strong>: Justin Bieber  
><strong>Kill<strong>: Logan Lerman


	11. eleven

**author's note: **this chapter is more romance and just being freakin' adorable. it's twenty one pages in my notebook. I wrote it out, all cursive, 5044 words. and, I'm acutally really proud of it. it mostly just explains how Sadie and James are feeling about each other at this point. so, I hope you guys enjoy it (:

also, I watched Silence of the Lambs today…worst idea ever. it's been messing with my head, and I don't enjoy it. I advise strongly against watching such a movie, especially if you're eating a Brown Sugar Cinnamon poptart…

**review question: **you know what, as ME a question. anything you want, nothing is off limits.  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>i don't own big time rush.

_the Benefits  
><em>chapter eleven? better than seven!  
><strong>rule eight: no dates.<strong>

_There once was a girl named Sadie, who was a super foxy lady. She was a whore who locked her door and made James madder than Hades._

Sadie laughed at the text, shaking her hair out of her towel. It was official, she'd turned James Diamond into a poetry writing, albeit offensive, girl. _Poems, Diamond?_

_You bet. Come let me in, babe._

The last three weeks had been nothing shot of amazing. If Sadie were any type of romantic, she'd go so far as to say it was magical. Unfortunately, Sadie was the furthest thing from a romantic, and that worried her. Every single day she was with James, she started to fall harder, deeper, and more and more with every smile, or breath. When she was with him, she was floating. But, in the deepest part of her pessimistic mind, Sadie knew that floating only lasted for so long before you hit the ground again. She kept telling herself it was only a matter of time before James realized all her faults, pulling her back down. He'd end it - just like all the others - and Sadie would be devastated, if she let it go that far, _too _far. Sadie couldn't keep herself from wondering if James would use the usual excuses - she was a hopeless bitch, a no good, trailer park, grade A whore, incapable of commitment, or her favorite, unable to show or feel compassion - or if he'd add his own to the list of low blows she'd received throughout her near nineteen years. Somewhere inside, she hoped James was better than her past, she knew he was. But, as a Grant, she had the smallest of tendencies to fuck things up, royally.

Sadie smiled up at James, as she opened her door, "One of theses days, I'll see your apartment."

James' expression matched hers, just a goofy grin, before he leaned down and kissed her, "Hey, babe."

"Hi." She breathed, fingers lacing with the hand that rested on her hip. Sadie reached up, kissing James again and holding onto his face. She pulled away, keeping her forehead against his, "I…um, I miss you."

James chuckled, gently, at her hesitant tone, but his eyes never left her, "You missed me?" He teased. Sadie nodded, feeling immediately shy, nearly idiotic for saying it. Until James kissed her nose - a light peck - and said, "I missed you too, Sades. Regardless of if I saw you," He glanced down at his wrist, "Thirteen hours ago."

Sadie hit him, but James meant it. Though he wasn't sure if it was the comfort he felt, there, with her that he'd missed, or Sadie herself. He tried to tell himself that it was the first, but he knew it was was the latter. Either way, it was her. The angle in apartment 3H. He'd fallen first love hard for her, and he didn't know when. It was moment like that James, whilst so hopelessly wrapped up in Sadie, he also hated her. The damned rules she'd created. Sure, he was a big help. Hell, he thought of nearly half of them. But the "no telling friends" one tore him apart. Sadie had made it very clear - James had to take this relationship to the grave, if he could call it that. He wanted nothing more, at this point, to just have some clarity. He had a loyalty to his friends, his brothers. But Sadie, she hated when people judged her, it was just who she was. James knew that, he knew she didn't want his friends to think she was a whore, considering it was her idea. But it took two to tango, and James had agreed to it. On top of that, James knew his friends would accept her as she was - Carlos, Logan and Kendall were the three greatest guys he knew. He just needed to prove it to Sadie. They couldn't refuse the girl he loved. And, as far as James was concerned, he loved her.

Whether it was a "I trust you" love, like a sibling or a close friend, or if he was sincerely in love with Sadie Grant, he wasn't sure. But, he sure as hell hoped it was the second, otherwise he'd done some pretty sick things with someone he considered a sister. That though led James to believe, strongly, that he was actually, head-over-heels, Jack-and-Rose in love with her. He wanted to tell Sadie, and not just that, James wanted to tell the world. It was just so much more complicated than that, and far more complicated than it needed to be.

He wanted to just sit her down, make her listen, and spill out his hopeless romantic heart on the floor of apartment 3H. He wanted to tell Sadie how, whenever she smiled - genuinely smiled - his heart skipped a beat. James wanted to admit that Sadie was the only thing on his mind, all the time. He wished he could say how when she said his name, when she whispered it, spoke it, moaning it, it drove him up a wall and to the left. James knew he sounded crazy, like a complete idiot. He'd only met the girl four months. But Sadie was something to him, something important. Something different. It turned him inside out.

James hated himself for giving in so easily, he was hardly the relationship type. He'd been labeled the player since middle school. He'd allowed Sadie, however, to pull him in. This self-proclaimed, stone cold bitch, that was disgusted by him who inevitably had taken his heart. James just let it happen, too. His charm was useless against her. Sadie was immune. But that, James often thought, was just how love happened. In the blink of an eye, you just realize your life would be pointless without them.

Sadie pulled at James' hand, and his thoughts, bringing him inside and quietly latching the door, "Come here." Her voice was barely above a whisper, but completely confident.

James couldn't, and didn't want to, resist her, "Before," He said, "Before we do that. I have something for you."

"You have…something for me?" Sadie's eyebrow arched, "Alright, then. I'm intrigued." She shimmied a bit, lowering her voice, "Give it to me."

He laughed, watching her with a smile. He reached into his back pocket, pulling out her gift and holding it out in front of his face, "VIP passes to Big Time Rush's pre-album release party, next weekend."

Sadie tilted her head, eying the tickets, then James, and back again. She opened her mouth to say something, but was unsure of exactly what it was she wanted to say. Biting her lip, quickly, she put her hands on her hips and finally said, "Like a date?"

"Yeah," James shrugged, "Like a date. Or, like a friend doing a favor for another friend by going to a party with aforementioned friend. Are you excited? It's gonna be huge. So many people are going to be there, Sades." He took a step towards her, putting her pass in her hand, "It would mean a lot to me if you were there, you're my girl, you know?"

"Your girl?" Sadie laughed, examining the plastic at the end of a cloth, BTR lanyard, "James, I don't -"

"Please, Sadie, you'll have fun." He neglected to mention the extravagant ruse it was, getting her to meet his friends, "And, I didn't want to have to do this, but." James got down on his knees and gazed up at her with sad eyes, "I'm prepared to beg."

Sadie was reluctant, she sighed and her head fell back. But, as James wrapped his arms tightly around her legs, she had no other choice, "Alright, I'll go. Christ, you're needy." She joked, "But it's not a date."

James jumped up with a victorious, "YES!" and pulled Sadie in for a hug. She laughed into his chest, relaxing against him. Sadie felt so safe in his arms, anywhere around James, for that matter. James made her feel normal, not so awful as a person or emotionally unstable as she thought she was. He made her feel needed, like he needed _her _specifically. Most of all, James made Sadie feel loved. Real love, genuine. It was the most frightening feeling Sadie had ever felt, and at the same time, she longed for it.

Sadie wanted the feeling of protection that James gave her. She loved how her heart would melt when he called her "babe" or "baby." Sadie was nearly intoxicated when he sang to her, his voice was smooth and cool. She wasn't in love with him, mostly because she wouldn't allow herself to be in love him James. But, if there existed a stage between like and love, Sadie was there. She was nearing love, at extreme like when it came to James. Nearly infatuated with him, still at a healthy level, but to her James was like a drug. She always felt like she was high, or drunk. Like she was dreaming.

"You have no idea how much this means to me, Sades." James mumbled against her head, kissing her hair.

Sadie held him closer, her arms wrapping around his stomach, perfectly. She took a moment to breathe him in, then laughed a bit, "What am I going to wear?"

Sadie was feeling self-conscious, tugging and twirling the gold bracelets around her wrist. Her foot tapped the floor of the sleek, black car she rode in as she silently cursed James for not arriving with her. He had to go with the bad, and part of Sadie understood that, but the other part was just the tiniest bit furious. At least he'd been decent enough to send a car. She fidgeted in her seat, the coral color, year old chiffon prom dress moving with her. She thanked the Lord that her grandmother still only partially hated her and had agreed to send it with a very convincing, tear-filled call from Sadie. She hoped that it would still be satisfactory enough, it cost her three paychecks when she'd originally bought it. There was one strap, reaching across her left shoulder and covered delicately with flowers of the same color. The top was cut in a sweetheart neckline. It was tight, just under her chest, and then flowed out and dragged behind her in a long train. The car halted and Sadie smiled, nervously, at the driver. He tipped his hat with a nod, offering a, "Have fun."

Sadie bit her lip, nodding back, "Thanks."

She pulled herself from the car, her gold jewelry clinking and clanking, matching her gold heels that hit the pavement, hard. The curls framing her face - pulled out of her up do - bounced with her every step. Sadie let out a long breath, fumbling with her clutch to remove her pass. She flashed it to the security guard - an enormous, dark-skinned man. He looked at it, nodded, and said, "Name."

"Uh, Sadie. Sadie Grant." She tried desperately not to sound as flustered as she felt.

"James' date?" He asked.

"No!" Sadie laughed, "It's not a…I'm not his date."

"Well, then you can go over there with the rest of the crazies stand." HE pointed to a group of elegantly dressed, frantic fan girls.

Sadie winced, "You don't understand, I have a pass."

"So did they." He shrugged, "Look, you can move, or I can move you."

"But, I'm on the list. You already know that." Sadie was beyond frustrated, "I'm just not his -"

"It's cool, Freight Train." A cool, familiar voice came from behind the man, and a hand touched his shoulder, "She's with me."

Sadie let out a breath as James stepped forward, taking her by the waist. She smiled up at him, and he winked down at her. James squeezed her side, kissed her temple and mumbled, "Come on."

Sadie allowed James to pull her behind him. She admired him from behind, how much he looked like a fucking prince in his perfect, black tuxedo. He was sincerely just like a dream. James stopped in front of her, taking both her hands. He leaned down to her ear and whispered, "We're gonna have to take some pictures, Sades. They'll tear us apart if we don't."

James stepped back, reading her expression and looking her over. She looked outstanding, like a Greek goddess there before him. He grinned like made as Sadie bit her lip, squeezing her hand. He pulled her in, the cameras flashing around them. Sadie was trying her best not to squint, as she smiled. Her arm never left it's spot, holding onto James as he secured her with a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him, his eyes were sparkling against the lights. James peered down at Sadie, a small, closed mouth smile on his face, "You look beautiful, babe."

She didn't say anything back. Sadie put her hand on James' chest, slightly pushing up on her toes, and kissed him. Immediately, she regretted it. The cameras, photographers and sleazy news reporters were relentless - much like Sadie's racing mind. James pulled back, hand on her face, and breathed, "Shit." It was only for Sadie to hear, she knew, but he warned her with a smile, "You've just unleashed a whole world of hell."

Sadie's mouth was open, as James laughed. He could tell she wanted to apologize, but James was loving this moment. She looked hot, he was rocking his suit, and she'd just ousted them in front the greater Los Angeles population. This night would be perfect for him. He just chuckled, he couldn't help it. Perhaps it was selfish, but the whole ordeal would make telling the guys a lot easier and a lot more plausible. Behind his thoughts, her could hear the numerous crowd members shouting things like, "James, who's that?" or "What's her name?" They shouted, "Kiss again!" and the disgruntled fan girls hollered their, "Boo!" What stuck with James, however, was the one word that he knew would get Sadie as well, "Girlfriend."

He tried to look at Sadie, but the pair was being ushered inside the club. It was packed, but maneuverable. James didn't let go of Sadie's hand for one second, just held it tight in his. He looked back at her, pulling her through the crowd, but stopped at her expression, "Sadie." He called, "Sadie, you okay?"

She shook her head, looking up at him blankly. For a second, she didn't speak, then that Sadie Grant smirk made it's first appearance of the night, and she said, "I'm better than okay." With a shrug, and a flourish of her hand, Sadie continued, "I'm James Diamond's girlfriend."

He laughed, tugging at her hand, "Come on. I want you to meet someone."

"It's not your parents, is it?" Sadie faux whined, "We only just started dating, Diamond."

"Sadie." James quieted her, "This is Kendall, Logan and Carlos." James turned back to Sadie, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, "Guys, this is Sadie."

"The girl from the lobby," Kendall grinned, "James fucking Diamond got the girl from the lobby."

"It's nice to meet you." Logan offered a hand, then gestured to the girl next to him. "This, uh, this is Camille Roberts."

"I've seen you before." Camille remarked.

Sadie nodded, "I don't doubt it."

"You're a dancer, right?" The girl to Logan's left asked, tucking a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear and smiling, "You practice out by the fountain?"

"That's me." She shrugged.

"You're really good." Camille grinned, "From what I've seen, at least."

James leaned into Sadie, "We're gonna go get some drinks." He whispered, scanning the room, "Can I trust my _girlfriend _to not be a total bitch?"

Sadie hit his arm, "You're a dick."

"Taking that as a no, but I'm trusting you to attempt." James scooted from the booth, followed by Kendall, "You want anything?" Sadie shook her head and James nodded, clapping his hands together, "Gentlemen, to the bar."

The quartet squeezed and pushed their way through the crowds, with little effort. Sadie watched them as they chatted with each other, laughing and clapping each other on the back. The smallest of smiles crept onto her face, but she quickly felt uncomfortable, under Camille's gaze. The pale brunette across the table sipped a water, eyeballing Sadie like a hawk. It took all she had not to snap. But, finally, Camille spoke an eased at least some of the tension, "So, you and James?"

Sadie could take a hit, "We're just friends."

"Yeah." Camille laughed, setting down her class, "And last summer, I went to Cabo with Shia LaBeouf. Sadie, it was Sadie, right? I mean, please."

Sadie rolled her eyes, "Look, I'm really not sure how any of this is your business. But, regardless, I can't." She said firmly, "I don't even know you."

Camille didn't budge, she stared on making Sadie even more uncomfortable and agitated. "Come to the bathroom with me."

"The fuck?" Sadie leaned back, watching Camille and raising an eyebrow, "No."

"Sadie." The girl, sporting an elegant blue dress, removed herself from the booth and stepped in front of Sadie, taking her wrist, "Come to the bathroom with me. Please."

Before she could protest, and tell Camille was she wanted her to do with that trip to the bathroom, Sadie was being dragged to the ladies room, through the crowd. It was surprisingly barren and, with the exception of the music from the party, quiet. Sadie crossed her arms and glared at Camille, "You're fucking weird, you know that? Like, where do you get off?"

"And, as far as first impressions go, you're a stand-offish bitch." Camille retorted, just as defiant. She wasn't having any of what Sadie was putting out. Camille read right through her, and it was freaking Sadie out. "But, apparently, James knows you well enough to see through that - or at least look past it. So, talk."

Sadie sighed, looking down, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Like hell you don't. Sadie, have you seen how he looks at you?" She shook her head, "I have. It's how Logan used to look at me. He's totally taken with you, it's all over his face. How he talks to you, treats you."

"Look, Camille. As awesome of a first impression this is," Sadie scoffed, "It's seriously none of your business what goes on between James and I."

"So there is something!" Camille's tone and smirk was proud, "Sadie, just tell me. I'll take it to the grave, if you so wish. Just talk to me. You need to say something, to someone, and I have a feeling I'm gonna be the only one willing to listen." She stepped forward, placing a comforting hand on Sadie's shoulder, "You'll feel so much better, I promise."

"This is seriously too dramatic for me." Sadie's bitter tone was almost sick as she shook her head. She took a minute to consider everything Camille was saying. It was eating Sadie away inside, not having friends to talk to. Not that she'd be able to, anyway. She would have gone to Sarah or Seth, told them everything, but she was currently not speaking to her sister and telling her brother broke the damned rules she'd set. Sighing, Sadie opened her mouth and mumbled, "I…"

A toilet flushed and an apologetic looking blonde scurried from her stall. She washed her hands, dried them, smoothed down her dress and passed the girls, muttering, "Sorry." Camille and Sadie waved back, watching her leave. Sadie, shrugging off Camille's hand, stepped over to the wall of toilet and peered under each stall - holding up her dress. She closed her eyes, biting her lip, and groaned. Sadie would probably hate herself for what she was about to do, "Christ." She whispered, after knowing the coast was clear, "Alright."

James summoned the bar tender - an Italian looking, Jersey Shore type with a two-sizes too small v-neck. He leaned on the bar, his hands clasped, and gave the order of the four boys. The man nodded, not bothering to ID them at this point, it was just routine. Then, James turned back, his elbows on the illuminated counter top. To his left, Kendall half-sat on a stool, his fingers drumming on the bar. Carlos stood in front of him, hands in his pockets and Logan stood to Carlos' right, arms crossed, casually watching the mass.

"So," Kendall smirked, "Lobby girl."

"Sadie." James corrected, cutting his friend off, "Her name is Sadie."

The green-eyed boy nodded, "Alright, Sadie. What, uh, what started that?"

James feigned confusion, eyebrow raised. He didn't say anything, which only furthered the questioning, "Come on." Carlos prodded, "How long have you two…you know?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, bull." Logan laughed, "Are you sleeping with her, or what?"

James smirked, "Oh, he's a feisty virgin, isn't he?" Logan snarled and Carlos patted his shoulder, laughing along with the other two. James adjusted his position, passing out the readied drinks, "Uh, nah, we're just friends."

"Just friends, my ass." Kendall laughed, taking a sip of his drink. The other two nodded in agreement, Logan raising his glass.

"No, really." James insisted, cracking a reassuring smile. "We're friends."

"Tell her that." Logan commented.

"What's that supposed to mean." James kept himself from sounding eager or defensive, eying his shorter friend.

"You can't honestly tell me that you don't see it." Kendall sighed, "She's totally into you, James."

"Trust me, she's not." James' tone was relatively reluctant, "But, I tell you what, if things progress…" James cleared his throat, "You guys are the first to know."

The boys collectively nodded, clinking their glasses and sharing a laugh, "To James' progressing relationship with hot lobby girl." Carlos cheered, James gave him a look. "I mean, Sadie."

Sadie sighed, emotionally exhausted. Her tell all confession Camille had suffered through had her pacing and rambling, wildly using her hands to emphasize every vivid point she had to make. Sadie told everything she was feeling, everything she could think of. Camille, for the most part, just stood and nodded. When Sadie was done - having explained her numerous failed relationships, the initial plan with James, and her reluctance to accept her pending feelings for him - Camille just laughed, "You feel better?"

"No!" Sadie glared, throwing her hands up, "I feel like shit and you," She gestured, dramatically, to Camille, "You laughing isn't helping."

"Sadie." Camille bit back a laugh, leaning against a sink, "I think you're in love."

"Yeah? I don't give a flying fuck what you think!" Sadie crossed her arms, "And I don't remember asking. Besides, I don't know if you missed that part, but it's impossible. Sadie Grant doesn't fall in love, she's incapable." She put air quotes around the word, "incapable" and rolled her eyes.

"Well, you're at least on your way." Sadie opened her mouth to argue, but the girl opposite her shushed her quickly, "Don't say no again, Sadie. It won't kill you to love him, I can guarantee it. And I know he feels the same way. You're both hopeless, trust me." Camille smiled, "I know about this. I know about love. It may be the only thing I'm ever sure of, because I've been there before. The only difference between us is James loves you back."

"And you're crazier than Doc Brown." Sadie smirked.

"And that." Camille shrugged, "But, I had to wait for Logan to love me, Sadie. That killed me, you've already got him. You're both just too stubborn to go for it."

Sadie laughed, "Thanks."

Camille nodded, "Don't mention it. Just swear that you'll save a day for me out of your hectic love-making schedule. Four months in L. A. and you've got one friend - worse, that it's James Diamond. It's not healthy."

Sadie nodded, hugging Camille. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror, taking a moment to refresh herself, then she linked arms with her newfound friend and rejoined the real world. The boys were back at the table when they returned, eying them with confused expressions etched on their faces. The girls looked at each other, smiled, then squeezed between the boys - Sadie closer to James, but next to Kendall and Camille wedged in next to Carlos and Logan.

"So," James smirked, "You're getting along?"

Sadie smirked, Camille shrugged, "Magical things happen in the girls bathroom."

"Magic, eh?" Carlos questioned, leaning closer to Camille.

Kendall put an arm behind Sadie's head, on the back of the cushioned seat of the booth, "What sort of magic?"

"We were just talking." Sadie said, nonchalantly adding, "Then there was that hot make-out session."

Simultaneously, the twelve eyes of the four boys widened and Camille and Sadie broke into small fits of laughter. Logan leaned forward, watching both girls, "Wait, really?"

"No!" The girls chuckled.

Kendall threw his head back, as did James, with a groan and mumbled, "Not cool, ladies. Not cool."

Carlos clutched his heart, "My emotions!"

Sadie sighed, shoving her key in the door and turning back to James. She grinned up at him, tucking her clutch under her arm, "Thanks, James for, uh -"

James bent down, closing the short distance to her lips and gently, he kissed her. Sadie took in a shaky breath, letting her free hand wrap around his neck and play with his hair. Like most of their kisses, it started slow, but it didn't progress - their lips moving together. James pulled himself back, "I don't have to work all week." He breathed.

Sadie craned her neck, her lips barely touching his, and whispered, "Stay with me."

It wasn't a question, not necessarily a command. Sadie just vocalized what they were both thinking. They stepped inside, Sadie locking the door behind them, and walked hand in hand to her room. James took off his jacked and loosened his tie so it hung around his neck. He stepped behind Sadie, unzipping her dress. She watched him in the mirror as he kissed her shoulder, sliding the strap away. She smirked, rolling her head back, as he moved to her neck. But he stopped. James stepped back, unbuttoning his crisp, white dress shirt, Sadie pulled the gold bangles from her wrist. James lifted his undershirt over his head, Sadie slipped off her heels. The golden leaves tucked in her hair came out and sat on the dresser, James' black, Italian shoes were kicked across the room. Sadie's dress, which had been barley hanging on, fell to the ground and she stepped away from it and standing in her black, lace underwear. And, finally, James stepped from his pants, until he stood in his Family Guy boxer briefs. Sadie's lips broke into a smile and James' didn't hesitate to follow.

She let out a breath, "What's going through your mind, right now?"

"You." James replied, confident.

"What else?" Her voice was hushed.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Absolutely nothing."

_reviewers get rewards_:

**ohdarlingyou: **aw, thank you! (:  
><strong>Gummy'Fish'Lover<strong>: yes! finally someone with love for Andy Samberg! (:  
><strong>StuckAt9.99: <strong>your pick up lines were PERFECTION (:  
><strong>bradytheboss887<strong>: oh my goodness. the pick up lines. THE PICK UP LINES. (:  
><strong>kaitlin<strong>: aw, poor andy! lolzzz. (:  
><strong>HorrorGurlxOxO<strong>: OMG, the backstreet boys one made me LOL when I was at Pizza Hut with my Mommy. you're rocking my world. (:  
><strong>jchamberz<strong>: need for bromance, noted. just you wait (:  
><strong>BurstOfSunshine<strong>: was this cute? didja love it? (:  
><strong>jackie<strong>: ah! yeah! you got the joke! love you for that. (:  
><strong>Laughter3Luck<strong>: thank you so much! you've no idea how much feedback like that means to me! (:  
><strong>angel2u<strong>: it doesn't make me hate you! logan lerman's a baaabbe (:

ASK ME TWO QUESTIONS, if you're up for the CHALLENGE!


	12. twelve

**author's note: **I've been reading Harry Potter fanfiction…a lot lately. So, whilst going through this, I had to try not to sound pathetically British while correcting everything. *sigh* and Tumblr has had it's side effects, because I'm swearing a lot more after being on there for…hours. So, I apologize for that, loves.

Also, the next two chapters will be in the same day, so…I mean….deal with it. BECAUSE BITCHES AIN'T SHIT AND I DON'T CARE! It's also kind of sad, dramatic and just generally like, wtf? But it had to happen, I think. So suck it up! I'm indifferent, but I'm forcing you to like it. But tell me your honest opinion, because…well…eh. It's also crazy short, for what I've been writing. But I had to split the next two in half because they're two different rules. (:

ALSO, I mean, ANOTHER…ALSO, I'm going to do this thing, it's kind of like an OC Character contest - BUT NOT. You'd submit your application to me, via PM or review, and then I'd write a one-shot for you, dealing with the BTR fandom. And you'd love it, and it'd be sexual and amazing. Or adorable and amazing. So, I'll start that…today. And…just…go do it…whores.

Also, if anyone…you know…felt so inclined as to make a small fan video for this, I'd use Jessica Szohr for the closest representation of Sadie…just saying…I'm inept, but I think it'd be awesome.

That's enough "also's", however. You guys know I love you.

**SHOW ME **BY THE WAY YOU **HOLD ME**, WAY THAT YOU **CONTROL ME**. SPEED ME UP OR **SLOW ME**.

**review question: **WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ELEVATE SONG?  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>i don't own big time rush.

_the Benefits  
><em>chapter twelve? nothing…rhymes with twelve!  
><strong>rule nine: no chick flicks.<strong>

The sun was cruel that morning, the morning after the party. James' eyes were practically forced open, as he stretched himself awake. He peered around the room, scanning over the pure white walls, grey blinds, and the comfortable, ever-familiar red sheets. He was in heaven, that or apartment 3H - which James mused was the same thing. He grinned at the Pittsburgh Penguins poster on the wall, hung next to three pictures of family, friends and then the angel herself - Sadie Grant. With a groan, he looked to the right, where she should have been laying, and yanked himself out from between the sheets when he noted she was absent. James looked around the carpeted floor, spotting his briefs and his crumpled up dress pants, snatched them up, and yawned loudly. He yanked them on, stepping down the hallway. When he emerged into the living room, dressed from the waist down and shaking his hair with a flexed bicep, he smiled. Sadie sat on the couch, sporting his dress shirt from the previous night.

"You know, it's a big blow to my ego, waking up without you there." James laughed, stepping towards her and stopping so he blocked her view of the TV, "I'm supposed to be the one ducking out in the morning."

"I don't think it's ducking out if it's my apartment, Diamond." Sadie smirked, leaning closer to him, "Besides, I didn't even leave, and I look hot wearing your shirt. It's like, a win for you."

James shook his head, kissing Sadie's nose, "Good morning."

"I'm trying to watch TV, sir." Sadie huffed, "Kindly remove your perfectly man-scaped body from my line of vision."

He obeyed, putting his hands up and stepping back before plopping down on the couch. Sadie bounced with his force and milk splashed from her bowl. Her mouth formed a perfect 'O', as she watched the liquid spill all over her legs. She glared a moment, before whipping out that damned smirk again and looking to James. He smiled, feigning innocence and shrugged, "My bad."

Sadie mimicked his shrug, "It's not my shirt. Clean this up, James." James' eyes narrowed, he'd just gotten comfortable. But then a thought occurred to him. He stood up, quickly, and stood before Sadie. She watched him a moment before raising an eyebrow, "Towel?"

He shook his head, kneeling before her. James pulled at her ankles, putting one leg on either side of his shoulders. Sadie bit her lip, wiggling in her seat. She set her bowl down on the end table and watched James, carefully. He ran his hands up her calves, down her thighs and squeezed her waist. Sadie closed her eyes when his tongue came into contact with her leg. Subconsciously, they kicked and she laughed at the tickle. James, sloppily, drooled all over her shin and Sadie kicked at him, lightly, groaning.

"Oh my God." Sadie laughed, "Stop being disgusting and go get a fucking towel." James ignored her, kissing her opposite leg. Sadie kicked it away. She leaned forward, grabbing his cheeks and kissing him. She held him there, speaking against his lips, "Towel."

James reluctantly stood, walking towards the kitchen, "When did you become the dude in this relationship."

Sadie grimaced, handing her bowl to James as he passed, "Ew," She said, "When you started referring to it as a relationship."

James stopped in his steps for a moment, closing his eyes. God, he was being such a needy little bitch, wasn't he? He shook his head, dumping the remaining milk into the sink, followed by the bowl and the spoon. He grabbed the hand towel from next to the concave, silver sink. James then rolled it up, like the boys did in the locker room, and whipped the air. Sadie grinned at him from the couch, and James noted how beautiful she looked. He got back into position, between her legs on the floor and wiped away the milk and his saliva. Sadie sat, proudly smirking at him, her fingers fiddling with the three buttons she'd bothered to do up.

James leaned forward, setting the rag on the table behind him and hunching over Sadie. He stayed close, whispering into her ear and singing, "Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight. Gonna grab some afternoon delight."

"Dear Jesus, James." Sadie laughed, "If you were any better at being charming, I wouldn't even bother wearing panties. I swear, you must practice the whole romance thing in the mirror. Did that one get you hard, James?"

"It worked on my ex-girlfriend." He shrugged, "And your mom last night."

"One, mature. And, two, that's probably why she's your ex-girlfriend, baby cakes." Sadie said. She looked forward, making herself seem nonchalant and ignoring the immediate dropping of her stomach. That was an odd thought. James Diamond in a relationship before her….version of it.

Sadie bit her lip, unable to stop her mind from going off into thought. James had girlfriends before her, he'd have girlfriends after her - just like she'd had previous and would have future boyfriends after James. Sadie didn't want to feel jealous, and she didn't, but she felt a sort of disgusted feeling. She tried picturing herself with someone other than James Diamond, but her mind either went to her exes or absolutely nowhere. She snorted a breath of laughter, rolling her eyes. Fucking Camille, she was right. Sadie was falling in love with James.

From the opposite side of the couch, he watched her with a curious expression, "Sades, how you holdin' up down there?"

"Just fine, James." Sadie shook her head, accidentally sardonic, "Just fine."

His head fell, resting on the back of the couch, and he put one hand on his abdomen. James sighed, "My head is killing me."

Sadie turned to him, "Can't hold your alcohol, huh?"

"Shut up." He growled, "I had two drinks."

"That's what we call a light weight." Sadie smirked, "On the streets, that is. The same place they call me Mac Daddy Grant."

James chuckled, "You," He slapped a hand on her knee, giving it a squeeze, and grinned, "You're something else, Sadie."

She smirked, getting on her knees and kissing James' nose, "And you _love _it. You want to hold me. You want to kiss me."

"Sadie, don't rip off lines from Miss Congeniality."

Sadie sat back, "Oh my God." She laughed, covering her mouth, "You're so gay for knowing that. Gay, James!"

James glared at her, tossing the throw pillow at her face. Sadie dodged it, skillfully, and continued laughing. She stood and danced around the room, and James just groaned, "Fuck you, Grant." He let out a sigh, "I have to pee."

"Classy." She stopped her dance and watched him trudge his way to the bathroom, "I'm putting a movie in. Any preference? I was thinking Titanic or -"

James hollered back, unzipping his pants, "I specifically remember a rule regarding chick flicks."

"And I can argue that it's not a chick flick!" Sadie returned, "It's a James Cameron movie. A historical masterpiece, with a fucking boat sinking in the Atlantic Ocean. It's practically an action movie, it just _happens _to have some romance in it."

The toilet flushed, the sink ran, and then James leaned against the door frame, making it painfully difficult for Sadie to look anywhere else. He had a grin on his face, like he knew she was ogling him, and that pissed her off enough to look away. She bent over, slipping the DVD into the Blue Ray player she'd gotten for Christmas two years prior. James strode up behind her, his hands around her waist. He forced her to stand tall, gently but with gusto, and Sadie turned to eye him. He merely kissed her, his arms wrapping fully around her body and pulling her in.

They broke apart, "How many times did you shake it in there, huh?" Sadie laughed, "Keep that thing under control, Diamond. Your trouser snake is all-too eager."

"I've had a negative effect on you, Sades." James laughed, lightly, watching her sit back down on the couch and slowly following after. He flipped his hair, "Hanging out with only a guy has made your vocabulary mirror a frat brothers. It's kind of hot."

Sadie scooted towards him, sitting partially in his lap, partially in between his legs. Her head rested on his shoulder, perfectly in the crook of his neck. She kissed his jaw, then whispered in his ear, "Then it's not entirely negative, is it?"

James wrapped his arm, protectively and comfortably, around her and gave her shoulder a squeeze, "Guess not."

Jack's eyes locked with Rose's as the ship lowered into the dark ocean water. The dramatic music behind the scene playing on Sadie's screen was enough to make anyone sob. This part always got her, when Rose was supposed to leave, and then she jumped. Throughout the movie, she'd maneuvered so she was resting her head on James' lap. She tried so desperately to hold back her sobs, but when Sadie cried, her whole body cried. She shook and her arms went into Velociraptor mode, hanging limp in front of her. It was like every bad movie cry all into one pathetic girl. Which is why she hated crying. But when Jack took Rose in his arms, Sadie's eyes welled up, her heart broke and she couldn't stop herself. It was beyond pitiable, in her mind.

James looked down at her, his eyebrow raised. He watched as she tried wiping the few fallen tears away, quickly. He witnessed her chest heaving, her breath ragged in a way he'd never seen before. She immediately felt warm against him, like a heater just kicked on. James didn't know what to do, but he looked at her for the longest time, back and forth between her and the movie. Then, the smallest of smirks stretched his lips. He ran a hand down her arm, "You alright there, Sades?"

"Fuck you." She mumbled, "Stop laughing."

"I'm not laughing. Come here," He had to fight his grin. Sadie sat up, her eyes looking more sad than James ever could have imagined from her. She sniffled, like a miserable child, and stared at him, "What's up?"

"This movie sucks, you know? Like, why do they have to be…" She turned back to the screen, using her arms to wildly gesture with every word, "So…perfect. They're so in…"

She couldn't say it. Sadie just couldn't muster the word "love" and she felt stupid for it. She felt like a total idiot sitting there with her mouth open, her eyes locked on the screen. Sadie didn't want to look at James, the last time she cried in front of a boyfriend was the last time she had a boyfriend. It was the same sort of scenario. Sadie was watching the Notebook, however, and the same realization hit her. She'd never have anything like what Jack and Rose or Noah and Allie - because she wouldn't let herself. It made no sense, whatsoever. In fact, Sadie more than once thought she was crazy. She wouldn't allow herself to fall in love, or admit to it?

James didn't look away from her. He pulled at her hand, "Sadie? What's going on."

She finally turned back, "I…I think I'm just PMSing." She tried to laugh, "James Cameron, he's, uh, he's a genius."

"Sadie, be serious for like five fucking seconds." James urged. He pulled at her again, bringing her to sit on his lap, straddling it, facing him, "Talk to me."

"It's just a movie, James." Sadie sighed, "My God, do we have to go Dawson's Creek dramatic?" James gave her a look, Sadie had never seen that look. He was being sincere, he was completely serious. She groaned, "Fine. You want to know why I agreed to no chick flicks? Because, they transform girls into the truly hot mess we secretly are. Like, I can be all calm and cool, collected like taxes, but then I just break down when this shit comes on."

"You're the one that suggested it." James laughed. Sadie glared, "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to laugh, but Christ, Sades. Why are you so afraid to cry?"

Sadie wanted to punch him for asking. She sat back a bit, on the edge of his knees, "I'm not afraid to cry. I just don't enjoy crying…in front of people."

James shook his head, "You're crazy, you know that? You're absolutely fucking insane." Again, Sadie looked fiercely at the brunette boy. He just smiled, "I've known you long enough, Sadie Grant. We're friends, first and foremost, and if you can't cry in front of me, what the hell are you going to do? I mean, I'm up your ass - figuratively and literally - almost every day. I'm not going to judge you, ever. You could murder someone, right now or tomorrow or in a years time, and I'd help you burn the body."

Sadie smiled. She put her hands on James' chest and smiled. He held her face, using his thumbs to take the tears from her face, "You're painfully perfect, dick."

"Ruin a moment, why don't you." James groaned. Sadie leaned in and kissed him. For the longest time, they just sat there. The Titanic was sinking behind them, people were dying and screaming and frantically jumping ship, and Sadie and James were together, "And, for the record." James mumbled against her mouth, his breath tickling her, "Just because I'll let you cry in front of me doesn't mean I ever want to see it again, Sades."

"Aw, you're cute." She pecked his nose.

"No," James said, simply, "I'm not. You're an ugly crier."

Sadie's jaw fell, she hit his bicep as hard as she could - which, really, had no impact at all - and glared as hard as she could. James just sniggered, watching her. Then cupped her face again to kiss her.

James slung his jacket and crumpled dress shirt - that he'd taken from a reluctant Sadie - over his shoulder, holding it there with his index finger. He had his tie draped lazily around his neck, undone, and his free hand was deep in his pocket. He whistled a tune, stepping through the lobby of the Palm Woods. Camille, who sat flipping through a magazine, smiled at him - to which James nodded, politely, "Walk of shame, huh, James?"

He stopped whistling, halted and eyed her. Camille just smirked, her eyes never leaving the pages of her People. James squinted his eyes at the cover. Something about the Kardashians took most of the page, another large chuck dealing with those kids from Twilight. But, in the bottom left corner, something caught James' eye. In bold, yellow letters, underneath a circular picture, was his name. He stepped quickly over to Camille, snatching away her reading material, despite her protesting, "Hey!"

"Hold on." He read the front, his eyes moving wildly, "James Diamond's Secret Sexcapades."

Camille opened her mouth, shut it, then opened it again, "Um…"

"What the hell is this?" James half-whispered, half-shrieked. His eyes darted around the lobby. A few mom's, a couple girls, and Mister Bitters were scattered around. And of the eight others, three had the same magazine as Camille. James' eyes went wide. He groaned, loudly, "What the…shit!"

"James, chill." Camille tried to calm him, a hand on his arm, "It's just some sleazy magazine, alright?"

"No, Camille." He lifted the paper, "It's fucking People. _People_. You know who reads People Magazine, Camille?" She shook her head, "Mamma Knight, that's who. A fresh copy of this "sleazy magazine" is on the counter of _my apartment_, where _my friends _will see it and tear me apart."

"James, I think you're over reacting. They're not going to tear you apart." Camille laughed, lightly, "What makes won't believe this over you."

James just looked at her. She'd been there, she knew how the four of them reacted to things like this. Camille nodded, agreeing with his look, "They will. They're irrational and crazy. _I'm _irrational and crazy."

"That's not all you are." Camille winced, pointing towards the elevator.

James stood tall, his jaw going rigged and his eyes bugging out, "I'm fucked."

_reviewers get rewards:  
><em>**StuckAt9.99: **you just know how to make my heart a-flutter, don't you? seriously, your reviews are the shit, bro.  
><em>are you getting elevate?<br>_BABY YOU KNOW I PRE-ORDERED THAT SHIIZZZZZZ. Did you get it?

**jchamberz**: reviews of perfection 3  
><em>can you relate to this story in anyway? any personal experiences?<br>_actually, yes! I can, the whole "friends with benefits" attempt thing. It's like the story of my life. I pretty much AM Sadie Grant. My last serious boyfriend, we broke up and then decided we'd try and be friends with sort of benefits again, that failed though. I sort of realized I was like, desperately in love with him but he was dating this girl named Brittany secretly. So, it ended badly, and ever since then - like…two years ago? I'm just like, FUCK DA WORLD. FUCK RELATIONSHIPS. JUST GIMME A DUDE, I WANNA DANCE.  
>And that's my sob story (:<p>

_are you a LOMILLE shipper?  
><em>actually, YES. I freaking LOVE Camille and Logan together, despite my best friends best wishes - she's totally in love with him. I just think they're adorable. I don't know why. But I've never actually written any Lomille fics…

**angel2u**: I'm not sure if this was your question, but imma roll with it, bro.  
><em>have you seen Logan Lerman in the Three Musketeers?<br>_I haven't! Regrettably! ):

**HorrorGurlxOxO**: I seriously just LOL at your reviews. LOVIN' THEM! You're funny, babes.  
><em>Are you ever going to do an OC Contest for this story or future stories to come?<br>_not an Original Character Contest, necessarily. See above author's note! But you should enter, or do…that! If you're interested (seriously, go read the author's note :D)

_would you ever do a Carlos/OC story like this (or any of the other guys?)  
><em>ACUTALLY YES! I'm working on a Carlos/OC story, not like this but I've been considering it! And I'm also working on a new Kendall/OC story, a bit like this, a bit not. The pairing has a sort of Love/Hate relationship! They'll start when the Benefits is done (:

**Gummy'Fish'Lover**: yes! finally someone with love for Andy Samberg! (:  
><em>do you like Twilight?<br>_I make fun of Twilight a lot, but I mean, I've seen every movie. I don't hate it as much as I pretend I do, but I don't love it. It's just that Kellan Lutz is a fucking babe, so, I mean. Right? And I own the books, I've read them all. I just think the movies could have been executed better. I'm also a really big Harry Potter fan - like obsessive big…

**BurstOfSunshine**: I'm glad you loved it! (:  
><em>are James and Sadie one step closer to admitting their 'more then friends' feelings for each other?<br>_perhaaappppsss…..? There is some…business to attend to first...

**bradytheboss887**: THANK YOU! AND I DID UPDATE! (:  
><em>who is your favorite member of big time rush?<br>_Oh dear LORD. **Kendall Schmidt**. Then **James Maslow**. Then **Carlos Pena Jr**. then **Logan Henderson**. But I love all of them with a passion. That's just…I mean, Kendall? HOLY FUCK. And James. I seriously GASM every time I hear them sing.

_what is your favorite Big Time Rush song?  
><em>um, of all time? Or off the first album? Or off of Elevate…? My favorite song of all time is…um, I'm going to say Stuck. Because it's my most played song…but then off of Big Time Rush, it'd be I Know You Know or OH Yeah, and off of Elevate it'd be Time of Our Life and No Idea!

**wonkerer**: aw, poor andy! lolzzz. (:  
><strong>jackie<strong>: thanks, broseph! (:

IF WE GET TO 108 REVIEWS, I'LL POST THE NEW CHAPTER ON WEDNESDAY!


	13. thirteen

**author's note: **drama, drama, drama. Confrontation. Confrontation. Confrontation. CONFESSION. CONFESSION. CONFESSION. I'm just saying, this chapter is one of my favorites.

I tell you, things are getting heated up, here, ladies.

We've gone and done it, babes, we've broken the 100 review barrier. Let's get to one-hundred and freakin' twenty. Because I'm miserable, but I love you! I seriously do, the majority of your reviews had F bombs in them and I was like, THESE GUYS. THEY'RE PERFECT. I love that we're all just a bunch of foul mouthed, BTR loving teenagers. Makes-uh me smile.

I have a sick obsession with Angry Kendall. It's just…really hot. REALLY HOT. And Defensive James, DAMN. Also, Cute Desperate James could call me at any time. And after this, there's going to be a one-chapter break between this and last two rules, does that makes sense?

My main concern: WAS THIS TOO GUSHY AND JUST…WEIRD? Because I loved writing it, and I just love…everything.

BUT NO SPOILERS. READ ON MY LOVES.

I just want to **B R E A T H E **until I take you in.

**review question: **you wanna get married, babes? we can elope in Vegas.  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>i don't own big time rush.

_the Benefits  
><em>chapter thirteen? so fresh, so clean!  
><strong>rule ten: no telling friends.<strong>

Kendall was the first to see James. His face was immediately fixed in a harsh glare. James, involuntarily winced, slamming the magazine into Camille's stomach. She wanted to reprimand him for it, but resisted seeing the look on his face. It was James' mixture of trying to seem intimidating, but being scared shitless at the same time and it took all Camille had not to laugh. She excused herself, as Carlos, Logan and Kendall approached. They were like a mafia, coming to collect, and she wanted no part of it. James looked after her, wishing he'd had a witness, but keeping his cool as best he could. He cracked a stupid smile - stupid for more than one reason - and shrugged, "Whoa, who died?"

Kendall shook his head, Logan following and Carlos crossed his arms, taking a power stance. Tall, blonde and eyebrows lifted an exact replica of the People Magazine James had just rid himself of, "You're about to." He tossed it to his friend, glaring hard. James stumbled catching it and faux gasped. His defense, trying to play it off like it was the first time he'd seen the ludicrous article. "The fuck, James?"

James opened his mouth, closed it, then examined the print. He let his arms fall to his sighed, an exasperated and beyond confused sigh accompanying it. He shook out his hair with his free hand and shrugged, "Shit, guys. I…"

"You know," Kendall started. He laughed the most bitter laugh James had ever heard, "I'm starting to think things have progressed?"

"Did you just…forget to tell us?" Logan was livid, James could tell. Normally, the shorter brunette would scream, his hands extremely expressive. But when Logan was sincerely pissed, he was painfully calm. "Did it, uh, slip your mind?"

James watched his friends and his words, carefully, "It's a lot more complicated than that, guys." He tried, knowing it wouldn't pass off.

"How complicated can it be, James?" Carlos glared. "We're your best friends."

"And who the fuck is she?" Kendall spat, "Some -"

James stood tall, stepping forward slightly with a warning glare, "You better watch what you say, Knight." He growled, his shoulders square. "You know exactly who she is. In fact, last night, I believe you were singing her praises. At least have the balls to say her name."

Kendall challenged James by stepping forward. Logan stopped him, however, "He has a point James. How much do you even know about this chick - Sadie?"

"She's not just a chick, Logan." James looked to him, rolling the magazine still in his hands.

"You're avoiding the question, James." Carlos said, "I mean, how long has this been going on?"

James let out a breath. He was fighting not only with his friends, but with himself. The rational side of him wanted to just explain, fully and honestly, what was going on. There was nothing wrong with the relationship he had with Sadie Grant. The only thing wrong was the overwhelming secret he'd been keeping from his friends, and how long he'd been keeping it. Still, the emotional, hormonal teenage side of him - the side devoted to Sadie - urged him to shut his damn mouth. He promised her, and he promised them. His mind physically hurt, it was racing a mile a minute. With a grunt and balled up fist, James closed his eyes, gritted his teeth and punched the air. He took a moment, calming himself and steadying his breath, before he re-opened his eyes and shook his head, "Shit, I don't know. A while, since she got here."

"Seriously, James?" Kendall sighed, "Three months?"

"Four." He corrected, "She got here in December."

The boys all took a while to respond. Logan looked down, suddenly becoming intrigued by the same carpet that'd been beneath him for years. Carlos took to looking at James for a second, then shaking his head like a disappointed parent. And Kendall, he stared out the window, his hands on his thighs, patting his legs. James just sighed, he had to keep breathing, keep calm. He knew if Sadie found out he was saying anything, anything at all, James would be dead - twice over. He looked up, finally, "I can…explain."

"Oh, please." Kendall wasn't letting up. "Enlighten us."

"Why are you being such a dick?" James snapped. Two could play at the shit game Kendall had started. James was standing here, ready to tell them everything, and he couldn't step past his pride to bite his damn tongue.

Kendall scoffed, like a child, "Why are you hiding things from us - important things? What, is James Diamond so insecure he's got to hide away all his girlfriends?"

"I didn't hide Sadie away. You don't know what the hell you're talking about." James defended, "Besides, Kendall, I told you I was seeing someone. Just because you couldn't put two and two together is not my fault."

Logan stepped forward, "Guys, calm down."

James wasn't listening. He had a feeling Kendall wasn't either. There was nothing like a Kendall and James fight - except, perhaps, the movie 300. Everything was fair game. They could bring up something so simple as a stolen pudding cup from first fucking grade, and it'd be the equivalent to shooting each other in the face. It was all about how they said things, when one of them felt betrayed or just generally pissed, there was no controlling it. Honestly, they sounded like two thirteen-year-old girls, or at least that's what Mamma Knight always said. The good part, they always worked everything out. James didn't see, this time, the situation looking so bright, however. He stepped closer to Kendall, "And who are you to judge me, _bro_," He words were literally like venom, "When you're doing the same fucking thing with Jo?"

Carlos and Logan tore their attention away from James to stare, blankly, at Kendall. He clenched his jaw and James knew he had him, he knew what was going through Kendall's mind. He had two options: deny it or own up, finally. James, fortunately, had a plan for both. Kendall's jaw didn't loosen much when he spoke, "How do you know about that?"

"What?" Carlos gaped, "Are you kidding me? What the hell happened to the Bro Code?"

Logan tossed up his hands, "I don't even - what the hell is going on?"

"Came home one night and your phone was lit up." James realized that made him sound like a nosy asshole, but damn it, if he was going down, he was dragging Kendall with him. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but "I love you, baby" doesn't sound like the type of thing someone would text their ex-girlfriend."

"Look." Kendall breathed, "That, that I can explain."

James nodded, "And I can explain this." He lifted the copy of People, "Who's going first?"

Kendall raised his hand, slightly, and hung his head for a second before speaking, "The thing with me and Jo, um, I mean, we got back together." He shrugged, "But, it was only for a little while. We thought, I don't know, we were more mature? We could handle the long distance shit. Literally an hour later, she dropped that bomb on me and I flipped out. For a while, I just went with it…" Kendall let out a breath, it seemed like he'd been holding it for hours, the way his chest heaved, "But, every single time I said it, I was thinking, "What the fuck? I don't love this girl". I felt like shit, like a complete asshole, you know? So, I broke it off…again. It just didn't work out, and it was a mess. I didn't tell you because it was over as quickly and as messily as it started."

James couldn't help but feel like a prick. He'd set the publication onto a nearby table and listened fully to Kendall's story. The boys stayed quiet for a while, again. Carlos cleared his throat a few times and Logan shifted, but outside of that, the room was cleared out and silent. The Palm Woods lobby had never felt so tense.

"Uh," James cut through the ill feeling, his voice sounding awkward and misplaced, "I don't know…where to start this. Uh, what to say. Sadie'd kill me if she knew I was even saying this." He laughed. James eyed his friends, then fished out his wallet, pulling out the worn piece of notebook paper, "I guess I could start here."

He handed it off to Carlos, "What is this? Rules of the Hump?"

"It's a list. We made it, Me and Sadie." James explained, "Sort of guidelines for the…relationship we have."

Logan pointed to the paper, "Rule Ten."

James nodded, "Yeah, rule ten. I would've told you guys sooner, it's just Sadie has this thing about people judging her. She's really self-conscious, even if she doesn't show it." The way James spoke about Sadie, it just came out, easily, like first nature, "I mean, I can't blame her. She's had it pretty bad. But, she didn't want you guys to think she was…"

"Loose?" Kendall finally smiled, and though James wasn't too happy with the reason while, he cracked a grin right back, "Sorry."

"Look, the thing with me and Sadie is complicated." James repeated, taking the list of rules from Carlos' hands.

"Clearly." Carlos remarked.

"But," He breathed, "But it works. And I'm, you know, happy? She's just a really cool girl. Literally, she's everything any guy with a brain would want, you know? Sadie loves sports and she's hilarious, half the time she's more masculine than me - but it works, because she's hot." He laughed and eyed his friends, suddenly he was like a Sadie Grant fucking expert and if it was weirding him out, it had to have the same effect on them. However, the trio before him didn't look at all like James thought they would. They were just staring at him, all-knowing looks on their abruptly calm, change-of-heart faces. James' eyebrow instinctively raised, "What?"

Logan slapped a hand on his friend's back, "James," He spoke, a wide grin on his dimpled face, "I so hate to say this, but you're in love, bro."

"Fuck off, Logan." James shoved his hand away, "I'm being serious, alright. Sadie and me, we're friends. It works that way, this way." He waved the paper in the air. "And, besides, even if I did love her - and I don't…"

"It'd be totally one-sided and that freaks you out?" Kendall said, as though it weren't a question, as though he was inside of James' mind.

James scoffed, trying to sway himself more than anything, "No. Not that."

"You love that girl, James." Logan confirmed, Carlos nodded. "What's the big deal?"

What's the big deal. James stayed silent for a little while. He started thinking, dwelling on Logan's words. He hated the way he'd said it so offhandedly, so casual, as though falling in love with someone wasn't a huge ass deal. James tucked the sheet back into its rightful place in his threefold, brown leather wallet and placed it in his back pocket. He looked from Logan to Kendall, Kendall to Carlos, and Carlos to Logan. The more he thought, the more convinced he became. Not as though he didn't already know, he was absolutely crazy about Sadie Grant. It was just admitting it to himself, or her, that freaked him out. It was taking him for a ride, and James couldn't say he hated it. There was nothing wrong with it, it was totally natural for a guy to fall in love with a girl he'd been sleeping with for four months, knew everything about, and spent all his time with.

The only problem was, she didn't love him back.

"James?" Carlos asked, almost worried. "What's up?"

James looked up, shaking his head slowly, "She's Sadie Grant. She doesn't fall in love."

"What the hell have you gotten yourself into, bro?" Kendall smirked.

"She doesn't fall in love?" Logan continued, cutting James' glare short, "James, come on."

"I'm serious, guys. She...doesn't. Sadie is damaged, I guess, she's got a lot of baggage." James shrugged, "But it's part of what makes her so great. She's such a hardass because she's learned from her past. Sadie is...experience, more than me - and in more than one way. She's been heart broken, she's -"

"Using it as an excuse not to get close to you." Carlos looked to his friend, apologetically, shrugging his shoulders.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, alright?" James snapped, "It's not that she doesn't want to get close to me, we're close. Sadie is just..."

Kendall stopped him, "James, she may be amazing, she may be the best thing in the world, we get it. But listen, if a girl willingly agrees to being 'friends with benefits', she has more than just a few cute faults. Sadie is a cool girl, from what we've gathered," Kendall gestured to himself, Logan and Carlos, "But don't get hung up on her, because we can't handle a crushed James - especially not on a tour bus."

"Fuck off. Seriously, just..." James sighed. He pushed through his friends, head hung low, grabbed his clothes from the chair and stepped quickly through the Palm Woods lobby. Sadie wouldn't just lead him on, she wouldn't keep him hanging out on a limb. She was incapable of that. His mind was on fire. And James wasn't sure why, whether it was because he felt betrayed by his friends...or Sadie.

Sadie jumped at the knock on her door. It had gotten to the point where James was either with her when he came over, or he just walked in. So, in short, it was odd to hear an actual knock. Her natural instinct was to assume someone was dead, or something awful was happening. She crossed the small space of her living room to the large door, opening it with some hesitation, "Camille. Pleasant surprise, hey."

"They know." The brunette rushed inside.

"No, by all means, come inside." Sadie's tone was sarcastic in the most endearing way, "Perhaps we could have a spot of tea, maybe some crumpets, love?"

"Killer accent." Camille noted.

Sadie threw her hands up, "Thank you! Will someone please tell James that!"

"Sadie. Listen." Camille redirected the conversation. Her eyes and hands were frantic, Sadie noticed, and she looked more crazy than usual, "Kendall, Logan, Carlos - they all know about you and James."

"Wh-what?" Sadie stuttered, stepping closer to Camille, "What are you talking about. They don't know anything."

Camille offered her copy of People to Sadie, her eyebrows raised as if to say, "Look, bitch". Sadie took it, slowly, holding it out like it was deadly. In the corner, she saw a picture of her and James, lips locked, and the caption '_James Diamond's Secret Sexcapades_'. She made a disgusted noise, along the lines of a groan, then muttered, "Fuck."

She went to the counter, sitting on top of a stool and flipping open to the designated page. She skimmed the article as quickly as she could, occasionally sighing and hitting her forehead, "What the hell, this is all fake." She laughed, "Literally every word. They even got my name wrong."

"Yeah, but I don't think James knows that." Camille said, shrugging, "And the guys, they sort of charged at him in the lobby. I don't see it ending well."

"Camille, don't worry. James wouldn't tell them." Sadie tried reassuring her new-found friend, and herself, "He wouldn't say anything."

Camille bit her lip and Sadie tried to find some comfort in that. Like, Camille was biting her lip because it was all just an elaborate hoax, nothing really happened. Sadie's face wasn't in People Magazine because she was a total idiot and decided to mack on James Diamond at his pre-release party. However, when her door flung open and James stood before her, she knew shit went down - and Sadie was in no position to handle shit.

James' eyes were locked on Sadie's, and for a moment it all just stopped. She wanted to believe the look in his eyes was lust, but it was something she couldn't even identify. She knew nearly everything about James, but this, "James." Sadie breathed. She looked to Camille, who, again, excused herself. Then, James closed the door and leaned against it - not looking at Sadie. "Are you -"

"Why, Sadie?" James asked. Not that she knew what he was talking about. It seemed that for the most part of the day, James was trying to keep himself calm - and slowly, he was losing that control. He'd gone and let the guys get inside his head. He wanted to know why Sadie didn't want him, regardless of if she'd explained a million and thirteen times. He wanted something more, something real - a real excuse as to why he wasn't worth a try.

Kendall, Logan and Carlos had all filled his mind with vision of James and Sadie together, as an actual couple. And James, in every vision, was happy. Happier than he was now, happier than he'd ever been. And he wanted that now, more than ever. He wanted to prove Sadie wrong. She stepped towards him, feeling awkward and out of place in her own home, "James? Why what?"

She sounded sympathetic, James sighed and pushed himself off the door, turning to face her. He just watched Sadie, fidgeting and trying not to look at him, "I get that you're…emotionally, what, unstable? I understand that you've had shit relationships with douche bags, alright?" His hand was outstretched, dramatically and needy. He quickly pulled it back, running it through his hair, "But…I just, you're fucking with my head, Sades. This whole thing was perfect until…"

"Until you told your friends." Sadie bit, her hands forming fists without James knowing. "Don't try and pin this all on me."

"What? Christ, no, Sadie." James was frustrated, and it was evident in his voice. He was supposed to be the one pissed, he was supposed to have the upper hand. But, leave it to Sadie to out-man him when it wasn't a competition to begin with, "Listen, they're my best friends. I had to tell them. But we got to talking -"

"You promised me, you know?"

"Why is it such a big deal? Huh?" James shouted, "If we were normal, if we were in a relationship, it'd be just fine. We'd get to…hang out at my place and…do things together, in public. And I wouldn't feel like a piece of shit all the time because I'm lying to everyone."

"If we were in a relationship, James, you'd be long gone by now." Sadie shook her head, not once looking away from him. She mentally kicked herself for acting like a soap opera, but she couldn't help it. James was attacking her, and Sadie was in defense mode. "Think about it. You wouldn't have put up with my bullshit for this long if you knew me."

"If I knew you? Sadie, I don't know _myself _as well as I know _you_. Do you even realize that?" He stepped forward, "Just, listen to me. For five minutes, let me talk and stop being such a hard ass all the time."

"I'm not being a hard ass." She almost pouted, stepping back and looking away. She bit her lip and shook her head, "This is what I'm trying to avoid, James. I fuck shit up. I avoided a relationship and you're already pissed at me for doing _that_. It was supposed to be perfect, alright? We were supposed to just be cool, and chill and…God, I don't know. Not _this_." She gestured between them, "This is what boyfriends and girlfriends do. I can't handle this."

James closed the distance between them. He grabbed Sadie's face, hard, forcing her to look at him, "Sadie, if you don't shut the fuck up…I'm not mad at you. I'm trying to talk to you. You're freaking out, and you don't need to. Just let me talk to you, Sadie." She looked up at him, hating herself. Hating that she hated herself, because she sounded pathetic and that was the worst to her. "I just…I want to know why you won't give me a shot, Sadie. Why won't you just let me be with you? That's literally all I want. All I can think about is you, and it's killing me that I can't…show you off, take you places, make you _happy_."

"James, stop." Sadie groaned. She held onto his wrists and tried to look away, James wasn't having it, "Please."

"Tell me why, Sades."

"Why, what? Why I don't want to get stuck in a relationship again? Why I don't want to throw myself into something where I'll inevitably get hurt? I'm sick of that _shit_, James. Why can't we just be what we are?"

"Which is what?" James scoffed, "Fuck buddies? Because I don't want that. And you don't want that, because you deserve better than that. I can't stand that you don't realize that."

"I'm just…" She sighed, "I'm just scared, alright. I'm scared shitless of commitment."

"Is that it?"

"I don't want you to hate me."

"I could never fucking hate you, Sadie." James' forehead met hers and he smiled, "It's impossible."

"God, you sound like a romance novel right now." She guffawed, bitterly, rolling her eyes.

James ran his thumbs on her cheeks, "Don't look away from me, babe."

"What do you want from me? I admitted it, I'm as much of a little bitch as every other girl. I'm not you're perfect Sadie Grant, James."

He took a step back, His hands falling to her waist, but not letting up on his grip, "Who the hell ever said Sadie Grant was perfect? If you were perfect, I'd want nothing to do with you. If you weren't a crazy, fucked up, sex addict I'd be long gone by now."

Sadie smirked, "Then what do you want?"

"You know what I want."

"James."

"Just try it, you'll like it." He smirked at her, his lips dangerously close to hers, "Just be my official girlfriend, Sadie. I won't fuck up if you don't."

"That's reassuring." Sadie whispered, her eyes closing.

"Be my girlfriend, Sades." James' breath was hot on her lips. Sadie breathed in for a second, her hands finding his hair. She let her mouth brush against his. "Be my girlfriend."

"You needy little bitch." Sadie laughed, "Fine, I'll be your girlfriend."

_reviewers get rewards:  
><em>**jackie: **good, because i was smile like a fucking idiot while writing it. and this one, too ^ for the most part (:  
><strong>jchamberz:<strong> shit went down, yesss? you like? and when i hear 'No Idea', i'm just like *whhutt, panties = gone* and SERIOUSLY, finally someone understands me. i'm just like, bro, you're NOT kendall, nor james, nor carlos, nor logan. get the fucckk outtt. although, the last guy i was sort of with looked a lot like Kendall (:  
><strong>StuckAt9.99: <strong>baby, i juss love you. i totes PMed you *like a creep* about it, but i'm just like. THIS GIRL. (:  
><strong>HorrorGurlxOxO: <strong>Ken-DOLL = love, babes. AND OMGSUBSUB DJE ENRIQUE FOR LYFE. i'm SO in love with him, have been since i was a kid. IT'S LIKE YOU KNOW ME (:  
><strong>katilin:<strong> thanks, so much, babes. you rock at reading them. ferlollzz. (:  
><strong>Pucoan:<strong> i love how you're reviewing, that's all i can ask for. your words fuel the adorableness of Sadie and James. seriously, loving you. (:  
><strong>angel2u: <strong>i will ferrsure check it out (:  
><strong>Karlaaaa D: <strong>hai there! welcome to the reviewers! and, for the record, you're MY favorite, because we have the same initials. just please tell me there's no "T" in your initials, because then it'd just be uncanny, love. (:  
><strong>bradytheboss887:<strong> i'm listening to cover girl right now! holy shiiitttt! thanks so much, babes, you seriously rock. (:  
><strong>your best friend:<strong>I LOVE YOU, ETERNALLY, SAMMY. also, TWENTY DAYS...or, wait, it's sunday...um, EIGHTEEN DAYS UNTIL I SEE YOU AGAIN (:

where is my Burst of Sunshine?

in your review, also add how you feel about my need to be conversational and casual with you all. because, personally, i love it. i feel like we're forming some serious bonds here. but i may just be pathetically creepy. but, lemme juss tell you, you guys rock my world with every review, every favorite, every view. keep it up, you're tha besst (: (: XD


	14. fourteen

**author's note: **omgomgomgomg. That's really all I have to say. I mean, normally, I would just talk and talk and talk at this point, but babes, I just…oh, GOD. This story is coming to a close, there's only three chapters after this…and I just don't know how to handle this shit. You're getting this early because i got fourteen reviews, and that shit is just ridiculous. SO HAPPY THURSDAY, LOVES.

I love my potty-mouth reviewers, so thank you for being so damn amazing. Sadie and James appreciate it. I wish I could marry each and every one of you, because you're all amazing, but we'll save the sentimental goodbyes for when it's really the end.

It's going to kill me when it's all over.

Oh, and this chapter, it's a series of their moments together over the first two weeks. Just a warning, although I think I kind of made that clear - or at least I tried! Love it, babes, because it's for you! The sexy time, the cute, the golden Jadie moments! (:

I put some breaks in, they're just periods, to seperate the days - even though that shit annoys the hell out of me.

one more thing, this is kind of a filler. but the next chapter, i think, will make up for it. hopefully. i mean, i'm not entirely disappointed with this, but it's not my best.

i can't _FIGHT _how i'm feeling **INSIDE**.  
>We can <em>PARTY <em>all night have the **TIME **of our LIFE.

**review question: **if I extended an invitation to the pants party to you, would you accept?  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>i don't own big time rush.

_the Benefits  
><em>chapter fourteen? my, oh my, kelsey dean!  
><strong>no rules.<strong>

Sadie sat perched on the cool, metal bar at the tail end of the pier. She looked over her shoulder at the sun. It just barely touched the water. James stood in front of her, his hands on either side of hers, holding onto the blue painted, chipped bar and smiling. The sun behind her made her glow, and James was doing his best not to act like some love struck teenager - regardless of if it was exactly what he was. The wind caught Sadie's dress, blowing it up, and he snuck a peek. Sadie leaned back and laughed, hitting him, "Perv."

"Hey." James protested, "You're my girlfriend now, it's like my God given right."

"James, if ever there was a time for you to be romantic," Sadie hopped down, starting down the pier, her hips swaying, "It was just then. You dun goofed, Diamond."

James took her wrist, pulling her back. He kissed her, his hands taking their time to travel up her body and cup her face, "How about that?"

"Better attempt." Sadie nodded, thoughtfully, "You could have gone without squeezing my ass though."

He laughed and nodded behind him, "Come here. Watch the sunset with me."

She nodded, stepping back over to the bar. Their first official date was ending wonderfully, with the hot May sun setting in front of them. James stood directly behind Sadie - leaving no space for the Holy Ghost between them, and buried his face in her hair. She titled her head back, resting it on her shoulder, and outstretched her arms, grabbing at the horizon. James watched her and laughed, lightly. He secured her with one arm around her waist and kissed her cheek, "How very Titanic of you, Jack Dawson." She gasped, "Holy shit."

"What? What'd I do now?"

Sadie smirked, "You have the same initials as my ideal lover. Oh, dream of dreams!" Her hands went up into the air, as she sighed as wistfully as Sadie could muster. James grinned, taking complete hold of her waist and lifting her up. He gave her a spin, so they face the other end of the pier, and set her back down, "Can we go now?"

Sadie pulled at James hands and he nodded, "How'd I do?"

"Meaning?"

"Our first official date, babe."

She shrugged, "Don't know. I don't really have much to compare to," It was a simple statement, but James felt a pang of unexplainable guilt, like he owed Sadie something. He watched her twirl, "But, you paid for my dinner, we watched the fucking sunset, and based on the mind-blowing sex I'm planning on having tonight, I'd say it was successful."

James loved her smirk. She stepped closer to him so when she spoke her mouth was as close to his as possible, without touching. He hugged her, kissed her head, then let his arm rest on her shoulder as she wrapped her around his waist. They continued walking down the pier, "I was thinking." James said, "No sex. Tonight, Sadie Grant, you are staying with me, in my apartment, in my bed. Just us."

Sadie didn't say anything for a while. She just blinked and blushed, involuntarily. She gave James the cutest, most embarrassed smile he'd ever seen on her face and nodded, "Okay."

...

James knew when Sadie was PMSing, as awful as that sounded. There were three clear signs. She was less of a standoffish bitch, Sadie suddenly had a deep love for all things fried chicken, and - James' personal favorite - her sexual drive was sky rocketed. It was a week, exactly, since they'd started dating, three days after their first official date and it seemed like as great of a time as any to take advantage of the lust in Sadie's eyes. Apartment 2J was empty, everyone was doing their own thing on one of the increasingly rare free days the boys had, and Sadie had fallen in love with the swirly slide having home James called his own. James loved that, how she wanted to spend time in his home with his friends - his family. What he loved more, was this moment, when Sadie was biting back her moans. It was pointless, no one would hear them anyway, for two reasons. Number one, no one was around, and number two, Sadie had insisted on playing their homemade "Let's Just Fuck" play list, consisting of Lady Gaga's "Heavy Metal Lover" and other assorted boning songs.

James smirked, nibbling at her collar bone. Her hands were yanking at James' hair, hard. Their first week together had been, unfortunately, sex free. Sadie and James both had pent up sexual frustration, bursting from them. It was pathetic, almost. The most intimate time they'd had together was a quick make-out before Sadie left his apartment, the morning after their first date. James smirked at the memory. He'd paid Kendall thirty bucks to be anywhere but their room than night. Sadie squirmed, her hips grinding against James' hand, and it brought him back to his current situation. His fingers dug into her, his other hand pushed her into him more, palming her ass. Sadie tilted her head back, "Fuck, James."

He looked up a moment, admiring her, then kissed her bare chest. Her shirt was long gone, as was his, and she lay before him, her hair - originally tied back - was sticking out everywhere and, to anyone but him, she'd look crazy. James, who was admittedly smitten with her, however, thought she looked incredible. He kissed her stomach, her ribcage, her right then left breast, up her neck then, to her lips, "You close, Sadie?"

She nodded, "Mhm."

"Come on, baby." James moaned, against her lips. He pushed his hips against her leg, his erection forcing a moan from her lips, finally. It filled the room, along with his own pants, and James couldn't stop his smirking. Sadie's back arched and her chest was pressed against his. She grabbed his hair again, with one hand, the other hand clutched the sheets. James laughed a little, "Fuck, Sades, you're beautiful."

Her eyes finally fluttered open and James' breath would have been taken away, had it not already been ragged. She smiled, kissing him, and held his face against hers for a second, just breathing him in. Sadie's mind was racing, he was just too amazing. Everything he did - every look, every touch - drove her absolutely insane. It had been like this for a while, sure, but something about him being hers - completely - just made everything heightened. It took every kiss to the next level, he could barely touch her lips and Sadie would immediately want more. She was so in love with James it scared it, of course. It would scare anyone like her, anyone at all for that matter. And the worst part was she knew she'd let it fall apart quicker than she'd tell him the truth. James pulled back, finally, forcing Sadie to look in his eyes. She smiled again, hoping he bought it, hoping he believed that she wasn't contemplating their inevitable downfall as a couple, "You."

He kissed her eyebrow, gently, "Tell me."

"No." Sadie shook her head, "Roll over."

James obeyed, his eyebrow so high on his forehead it was almost comical. Sadie ran her hands down his body and dug her nails into his abdomen. James winced, his eyes never leaving her actions. He was so ready for whatever she was about to do. Sadie kissed the line just above his briefs and then bit at them, tugging them away like she did, with her teeth. His head finally fell back when the cool breeze hit his most sensitive area. Sadie chuckled, darkly, and if James wasn't already the most turned on he'd been in weeks, he would have exploded just then. Her hands held onto his thigh muscle, massaging them, and she lowered her head. Then, the door opened and Kendall stepped in, a equipment bag slung over his shoulder, "Christ, James. I thought you having a girlfriend would make you _less _gay." he said, turning off the song, completely unaware of the situation behind him.

Sadie shrieked, falling off James' bed. She covered her chest and crashed to the floor. James sat up, clutched onto a pillow on his lap, and took the other one on his bed to throw at Kendall, "Dude."

The green-eyed boy turned and laughed, "Oh, shit. I'm sorry." Kendall smirked, "I guess that explains the Gaga and overwhelming musk, huh?"

"Get the fuck out, Kendall!" Sadie hollered, through a fit of laughter. She titled her head back, and rolled on the floor. James just glared, embarrassed to no end. His face was red and his eyes closed tight.

Kendall quickly stepped back to the door, pulling the knob, "James?"

"What?" James rolled his eyes.

"You could really hit up the gym, bro." And then Kendall was gone. Sadie still sat, her chest rising and falling with every laugh.

James turned to her, his expression changing. He grabbed her wrist, laughing himself, and pulled her back to him. He set her on his stomach, laying back and resting his head on the headboard. Sadie kept giggling, occasionally, as James traced circles on her hip bones. She leaned down, kissing his lips, and James brought his hand up to hold the back of her head, putting his fingers in her hair, "I'm sorry." He laughed.

"Don't be." Sadie shrugged, smirking shortly thereafter, "Maybe next time, Kendall can join in."

Sadie winked, quickly, before James flipped her over and smirked himself. She squealed and smiled, "Hot for my friend, huh?"

"He's cute." She nodded, jokingly. Then, Sadie breathed in and looked into James' eyes, "He's not you."

...

James lifted his card, "Shit, how the fuck am I supposed to do this?" He showed Kendall, who shrugged. The living room of apartment 2J was packed, as packed as it could be, really. In a circle sat Logan, Camille, Carlos, James, Sadie, and Kendall. They'd been playing assorted board games for nearly three hours, the clock almost ticking midnight. Everyone was tired, but slap happy beyond all reason, and as the game progressed and they got down to the harder, more ridiculous cards, James was getting more and more frustrated. He set down his playing card, face down, and looked to his teammates, Carlos and Sadie.

He motioned, "Three words." Sadie confirmed.

Again, James lifted his fingers, "Five syllables." Carlos nodded.

James, for the third time, lifted his hands and made a gesture, to which Sadie and Carlos said, "Movie." The pair high-fived each other for their unintentional unison and then focused back on James. He rolled his eyes and sighed, balling his fists and pelvic thrusting. Sadie laughed, Carlos eyed him. James, exasperated, threw his hands up and said, "Just go with it!"

Kendall pointed at him, "Hey, you spoke. You lose points."

James glared and then returned to his movement. Sadie was the first to speak, "Uh, sex? Sex and the City?"

"No, that's four." Carlos noted.

Kendall couldn't hold back his laughter, watching his friend. Sadie raised an eyebrow again, trying to understand what James was doing when he squeezed where his boobs would be, "Girl? It's about a girl?" James nodded, clapping his hands and pointing at Sadie. Then, he pretended to lasso something and galloped around the room, "Cowgirls?" He shook his head. Sadie sighed, "I don't know."

"West. Wild, Wild West?" Carlos guessed, then shook his head, "It's four syllables. Shit. Um, the south, then?" James, again, nodded, "Something about the south. Uh, Texas?"

James was getting exited. His head didn't stop nodding, animatedly, and it made Sadie laugh. She watched him pretend to grope himself again, pelvic thrusting, "Is it a porn?" Sadie joked. Her boyfriend took her by surprise when he nodded. "Oh, okay. Girl. Texas. Porn."

"Oh, shit!" Carlos shrieked, "What's that one? From the seventies?"

"Right!" Sadie countered, "That narrows it down a lot! Porn in the seventies, that shit was rare." Carlos mock glared at her. Then, Sadie had what she assumed was a revelation, "Oh my God. Debby Does Dallas."

James ran over to her, kicking the game board, and picked her up off the ground, kissing her. Sadie laughed, light-heartedly, and wrapped her arms around him, "My baby knows porn!" James shouted, raising a fist in the air, victoriously. Sadie smacked his ass, smirking at him.

Carlos stood, "Hey, where's my kiss?"

Sadie chuckled. James eyed him, "Sorry, bro. It's not even worth the win."

With a smirk, a famous Grant smirk, Sadie stepped over Logan to Carlos and kissed his cheeks, lightly, before kissing his lips, "There. Happy?"

Carlos shrugged. James glared at him, pointing with two fingers from his eyes, to Carlos. He wrapped an arm around Sadie when she returned to him, smiling, "I'm watching you, Garcia."

"She came onto me!" Carlos protested, in jest.

...

Sadie and James rolled around, her laugh the only other thing heard in the room - outside of the rustling sheets. James ended up beneath her, her legs on either side of his hips. She smiled down at him and he beamed up at her, holding tightly onto her hips. Sadie looked perfect, her hair was disheveled, sure, and as of right now, the only thing she was wearing was a tight sweater and a black thong - James certainly wasn't complaining. She giggled again and leaned down to kiss him, her hands holding his face. Sadie ran her fingers along his jaw line, his stubble prickling her fingers. Slowly, James sat up and pulled Sadie into him. The light from her closed blinds made Sadie's skin look darker, smooth as hot chocolate. James looked at her, in her eyes, and just stayed there for a while. She smiled and pulled his head against her chest. He kissed her collar bone and Sadie involuntarily moaned, arching against him. He pulled down one side of her sweater, kissing the top of her breast lightly. Then, James groaned as his phone vibrated in his pocket. Burying his face in a chuckling Sadie's chest, he sighed and squeezed her close. She pushed him back, kissed his nose, and muttered, "Answer it."

James eyed her, reached for his phone in his pocket, stopped and sighed, then pulled it out, "Hello?" His eyes met Sadie's again, "Yeah, yeah. I'll be there. Give me five minutes, I'll, uh…" She looked disappointed, "I'll meet you in the lobby. Yeah, bye." James gave an apologetic smile, "Logan."

"Logan?" She said, one hand on his shoulder the other distractedly playing with his hair, "What's up?"

"We've got to go to the studio. Some…meeting, I don't know." James shrugged, "I'll be back, I promise."

"Yeah, yeah." Sadie crawled off his lap, laying lazily on her bed, "Go on. Go be a heartthrob pop star. I'll just be here, kept away in my tower, forever alone."

James shook his head, covering her body with his and bracing himself with a flexed arm, "For someone who doesn't like drama, babe."

He didn't have to fully finish his sentence, Sadie wouldn't let him, either. She kissed him, quickly, and pushed James away and off the bed, "Get outta here, asshole." James reluctantly stood, crossing her room and slipping on his shoes. Sadie stayed in her bed, grinning after him, and before he reached her bedroom door she called after him, "Goodbye, boyfriend."

James was in the hallway when he stopped, turned around, and poked his head in the doorway. Sadie bit her lip and slowly sat up on her elbows. Two weeks, it had been, since they'd been official. Two blissful, sex-filled, amazing weeks and she had yet to call him that - to say her was her _boyfriend_. James beamed, stepping quickly back over to her and kissing her, fiercely. She gasped and let him tangle his hands, momentarily, in her hair. When he pulled away, Sadie sat, erect and stared doe-eyed at him, "What was that for."

"I don't know." He laughed, "It just feels good to hear you say that. _Boyfriend_."

"Don't get soft on me, Diamond." Sadie warned, "Go on. Gustavo will kill you if you're late. And I can't have your blood on my conscience."

He kissed her again, "And you say _I'm _the bad romantic."

Sadie smirked, smacking his ass as he walked away. James yelped and turned to glare at her before winking and jogging out, "I'll be back."

"Get out!"

...

"While part of me thinks you planned it this way, so I'd be your girlfriend on your birthday, and therefore would have to get you a present," Sadie's voice was low, husky, her breath hot on James' ear. She had her hands covering his eyes, gently pushing him forward to guide him wherever she pleased. He wouldn't admit, but he was nervous. Sadie was capable of many things, the girl had the mind of a villain, and James wasn't exaggerating. "You would've gotten the same thing, regardless. And you're one lucky bastard, in that aspect."

She dropped her hands and James' eyes immediately opened. He looked around, the blue curtains surrounding him caused his eyebrow to arch. He turned, opening his mouth to ask exactly _why_ he was standing in a cabana on his birthday, but Sadie clearly had other plans. There she stood, buck naked, with a smirk on her face, one hand twirling the loose curls around her face. The sundress she once wore was pooled at her feet and the dim light shadowed her perfectly. James' jaw dropped, as an immediate reaction, and he muttered, "Shit."

"Happy Birthday, James." She winked, stepping towards him.

James accepted the fierce kiss Sadie offered, like he would ever refuse it, but reluctantly pushed her away after only a moment. He groaned at his own resistance, looking at her body then her eyes, "Sadie, we can't have sex in a Cabana."

"We can have sex wherever we want, Diamond." Sadie tugged at his shirt, pulling it over his head. She kissed his chest, his neck, then his jaw, "You really think I'd offer cabana sex without thinking it through first. James, it's like you don't even know me. You can thank Guitar Dude later for keeping watch, alright? Right now, you have two options; get over here and fuck me, or take your boner and celebrate your birthday with the bros."

James closed his mouth, smirked at her, and pulled her towards him. She hissed a bit, her wrist popping. James wanted to apologize, but Sadie shook her head. She grabbed his hair, forcing - or, not so much - his lips to hers and kissed him with as much gusto as she could gather. His hands cupped her ass, squeezing and kneeding. He pushed Sadie back, lifting her up slightly so she could set herself on the small, circular glass table. James mentally laughed, feeling sorry for whoever used this cabana after them, but didn't dwell on it too much. His lips, hungrily, bit at her neck and Sadie moaned, her hands tugging and yanking at his hair. James heard Guitar Dude strum his acoustic, masking their moans with a not-too-uncommon poolside jam session. He'd _really_ have to thank him later. James kept one hand on Sadie's back, making sure her chest never stopped touching his, and undid his belt with his free hand. It fell to the concrete with a clink and a clank, then followed his briefs. Sadie wrapped her hand around him, squeezing gently and locking eyes with him. She winked and smirked, completely typical of her, "Come on, baby. We don't have all day." She whispered against his lips, "I need you inside me, James."

And he was quick to suit her needs. James grabbed Sadie's face, open-mouth kissing her, sloppily and wet. Sadie loved every second of it. He lifted her by her thighs and carried her over to the lawn chair. James sat down himself, letting Sadie get comfortable on his lap, then he pushed her down - skipping the gentle lowering and forcing her onto him. She gasped, loudly, and threw her head back, "Shit." She moaned, "Holy shit."

James smirked and thrust upwards. His hands roamed over her body before one settled on her brest, fondling, squeezing, anything that felt right - which, in that moment, was everything. This was a huge step for them. James and Sadie, they'd had sex dozens of times. That was nothing new, of course. But public, living out James' fantasy, was huge. Sadie hated public everything, James was starting to realized how many excuses she had for staying in. She didn't like public displays of affection, public fights, anything that drew attention to her she hated. It made him wonder why she chose dancing as her career choice - and Sadie had explained it was an entirely different feeling. When you can't see the faces of people judging you, when they're hidden in the dark, it's a feeling of redemption. Like going to confession. Sure, the priest gave his punishment, he knew all your secrets, but you never come face to face with him, you never see the look in his eyes when you're telling him how many chicks you banged, or whatever sin you committed. Sadie was a sinner on stage, her audience was the Priest, and they all had a simple understanding. This wasn't anything like that, James knew. Sadie was actually going out on a limb, stepping out of her comfort zone, just to please him - literally. Sure, Sadie was cautious, she had someone guarding their cabana, but it was like that didn't even matter. James stopped slamming into her for a second, breathing heavy. He looked up at Sadie, who looked worried, "What's wrong, James?"

He blinked. He just sat there and watched her. Sadie's hands held his face, her eyes shifting quickly to look into his. Her thumbs wiped the sweat from his cheeks and it was then, that moment, James was never more sure that he loved her. He couldn't say it enough. If someone asked him, he'd be a cheeseball and say it was the moment he laid eyes on Sadie Grant that he felt something - which wasn't entirely false. But when she sat there, on top of him, her eyes concerned - _fucking concerned _- James was filled with nothing but love for his girlfriend. Any doubt he harbored before then was completely gone and he smiled, "I've never been better in my life."

Sadie laughed a little, then kissed him, "Then don't fucking stop, asshole. No one likes a tease."

James kissed her, he just kissed her, then slowly he started his motion again. Sadie's breath got quicker, faster than James would have liked. Again, she locked eyes with him, her hair falling in her eyes, and his. He kissed her nose, her cheeks, and watched her as she got closer and closer. Sadie was about to lose it when James latched onto her breast with his mouth. Her eyes closed, she threw her head back and bit her lip, holding back what James knew would have been the loudest moan. James grunted, trying to catch up with her. Sadie was almost completely spent, at the tail end of her orgasm when James let go. He followed her actions, his head hanging over the back of the chair, hair sticking to his forehead. Sadie watched him like he did her, eyes fixed on his expression. She kissed his neck, gently, hard, a mix of everything and James couldn't take it anymore. Their breathing gradually slowed, Sadie hugged James' body against hers for a while, just breathing there with him. She never wanted to let go, she'd finally found her Jack Dawson, her Noah. James was hers, completely, her everything. And for once, Sadie stopped being scared, and she just loved him.

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy birthday to you." She sang, gently, in his ear.

James laughed, "Best present ever, babe."

Sadie grinned. She finally removed herself from James' body, feeling cold even in the heat of mid-May. She grabbed her dress, slipped it on and waited for James to get dressed before taking his hand, "It's not over. Come on."

She pulled him through the lobby, down the hallway and to apartment 2J. She paused at the door, turned to face James and kissed him. He smiled down at her, "Just so you know," Sadie sighed, "This was all their idea. I normally don't go for this shit. I was content with the cabana sex. But, Kendall insisted it was tradition." She opened the door and there stood all of James' friends, even a few Minnesota stragglers. He beamed, looking from Sadie to the guys, to Mamma Knight and Katie, back to his girlfriend.

Everyone joined in, singing 'Happy Birthday' as loudly and off-key as they could. James chuckled, heartily, and slapped his leg. Sadie slipped away from him, meeting Logan at the counter, and helped light the candles. She and Logan carried thee large, white-iced cake towards him, beaming. He looked down, reading the blue writing on his birthday treat, "_Happy Birthday, You Little Bitch_." Everyone laughed, "Classy, Sades."

She shrugged, "I had to have _some_ say in it, babe." Sadie gave him a wink, letting Carlos take her place holding the cake, "Make a damn wish."

James looked at her for a second out of the corner of his eye, then closed them tight like he was a kid again. He took a deep breath in and blew as hard as he could. All twenty candles went out and James smirked, proudly. The group cheered, Carlos throwing in a hearty, "Mazel tov!" for good measure. Then, the two shorter brunette boys carried it back over the counter where everyone gathered for a piece.

"What'd you wish for?" Sadie asked.

James smiled, "If I tell you, it won't come true."

"It was a buttplug, wasn't it?" Sadie eyed him, her arm around his waist and his squeezing her shoulder. He nodded, sarcastically, and Sadie laughed, "Happy Birthday, James-y boy."

Kendall walked over to them, three plates, piled messily with cake in his hands, "What'd you do to keep him busy, Sadie?" He asked, handing them their desert and forks.

Sadie just smirked, shaking her head, "Curiousity, dear Kendall," She stepped by him, leaning close to his ear, "Brutally murdered the cat, his family and his coworkers. Is that a road you want to travel down?"

And she said nothing else after that. Sadie just smiled back at James then went over to where Camille stood, chatting with Logan and Carlos. Kendall turned to his friend, "You know she's bat shit crazy, right?"

James nodded, "Yeah, I know." He took a bite of cake, "And she's fucking perfect."

_reviewers get rewards:  
><em>**Gummy'Fish'Lover: **I missed you, babes. I can't wait for Vegas. And YES! THERE WILL BE CAKE. What flavor would you prefer? And I had chicken nuggets for dinner tonight! Or I would have…had I ate them… (:  
><strong>jchamberz: <strong>YOU. ME. AIRPLANE. I have so many weddings to go to, shit son. I love that you loved it, because it makes love so easy when other people just…love. I also love making sense. NOT AT ALL. SHIT IS OVERRATED. (:  
><strong>StuckAt9.99: <strong>you're MY favorite! I WISH I WAS SADIE TO! And yeah, my friends Wes, Josh and Andrew (who, ironically, would actually know, as this story is kind of based off our relationship - Andrew and I) all had this huge conversation about how I'd be the "kinky, roleplay type." and I was like…honestly? I'm sitting in front of you, bro. (:  
><strong>HorroGurlxOxO: <strong>we're most definitely twins separated at birth, babes. Enrique is my Latin lover, I only wish he knew that…AND EMBRACE THE MUSH, IT'S GOOD FOR THE SOUL. (:  
><strong>Pucoan: <strong>I resisted the urge to sing, "You Make My Dreams Come True" by Hall&Oates after reading your review, but seriously, I'm not about to get married in some Cathedral, juss keep it simple. I hope you loved this chapter (:  
><strong>jackie: <strong>the short, simple, sexy reviews you give me, babes. YOU are so quality (:  
><strong>angel2u: <strong>Paris, London, Tokyo. I'd fly you ANYWHERE. I JUSS WANNA BE MARRIED TO YOUUUU (:  
><strong>kaitlin: <strong>you're cute…and not accepting my marriage proposal. depressing ): (:  
><strong>BurstOfSunshine: <strong>I'm more than happy to include you, because I'd feel awful if I didn't. The reviewers, they're the fuel to every writer - whether they admit it or not. I just obsess with showing my sheer appreciation for you babes (:  
><strong>bradytheboss887: <strong>BABY GIRL, just LOVE ME. we're two peas in a fucking gorgeous pod. (:  
><strong>hey a-nonny nonny:<strong> babes, i'm glad you think so! glad you like it (:  
><strong>ohdarlingyou: <strong>where HAVE you BEEN? no note! car gone! - harry potter win. and it's like you READ MY MIND. i can't wait for you to read my next story! baby, you will FLIP. (:

Oh, the times we have. Fourteen reviews, twelve variations of "fuck", and seven successful marriage proposals. Babes, do you know how much I love you? In your review, just…put whatever you'd like. _Share _something, _ask _something, be just…amazing.


	15. fifteen

**author's note: **I'm not even…like…guys. That's literally it, that's all I'm saying. Oh, except this, this chapter? She's a beaut. I worked my ass off on this, because I wanted it to be perfect, romantic, sexy and classy - just like it's reviewers. So, this is the only time I'm actually going to BEG for reviews. If you're reading and you haven't reviewed, do it now. Just this once. I think we can make it to 200 reviews, not with this chapter, but with the whole story. Maybe even more, and it would just make this poor girls life that much brighter. My love for you in undying, babes.

Sadie and James are a-waitin'.

do you ever _wonder _when you listen to the thunder?

**review question: **tell me how you're feeling.  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>i don't own big time rush.

_the Benefits  
><em>chapter fifteen? oh, i could scream!  
><strong>rule eleven: no romantic foreplay, rose petals, candlelight - the works.<strong>

_I think I'm going to become a stripper._

James smirked, _Not that it's not a turn on, but I can't go for that._

_Alright, Daryl fucking Hall. Does that make me Oates? I'm just saying, it's a noble profession - maybe I'll get knocked up, too. _Sadie's fingers typed frantically, a smirk on her face, as Camille chatted her ear up.

_Don't come looking for me, then. _James responded.

Sadie frowned, jokingly, knowing full well James couldn't see it, _I'm hurt, boyfriend. I support your questionably gay, homoerotic boy band, why won't you let me take my clothes off for money? You make me do it for free everyday. _

_Because, Roxanne. You don't have to put on the red light._ James laughed at his own pun, smiling to himself while laying in the middle of the dance floor. Kendall and Carlo were to his left, much in the same position - texting and sprawled out - and Logan went to get lunch for the guys, ever the responsible one.

Sadie shook her head, Camille had stopped talking taking notice to Sadie blatantly ignoring her, _The cheesy, 1980s music quotes, Diamond? _

_We've been dating almost a month, Sades. You're gonna have to start calling me by my actual name._

_Shit head? _

James scoffed, _I was thinking more of Fucks Your Mom Daily._

_Yeah, you'd like to. My mom is a ten._

_Sadie, did you just whore your mom out to me?_

To say James was nervous would be shamefully inaccurate. He'd planned this whole thing out. For three days, he and Sadie remained as celibate as the two of them could. They stayed at his apartment two nights, hers one. Since his birthday, it seemed like all Sadie wanted to do was have him hold her, just be with her. James knew what it meant, only an idiot wouldn't notice. He'd been so intimate with Sadie, it was hard not to know her every quirk. And, when she was ready to push someone away, when she was making herself separate from someone or something, she spent her time of preparation clinging to whatever that thing was. Because, secretly, Sadie knew she'd miss it, she'd miss James when she pushed him away. He'd hoped it would have lasted longer, and he was willing to do everything in his power to make her see that he wasn't the same as her past, he was so much more than that because James truly just loved Sadie. He was her future, he knew it and he felt like Sadie did as well, but she'd never say anything about it.

Wiping his hands on his jeans, James paced around her apartment. She'd been with Camille all day, which was perfect - precisely how he'd planned it. This was one of the last nights he'd spend with Sadie - whether it be for the summer or for good, the thought was morbid enough. The door opened and James smiled. He stopped his frantic, nervous stomp and grinned as wide as he could. Sadie stepped inside, her eyebrow raised and her face looking curious. James gave a dumb wave, then dropped his hand to his side again, "James? What are you doing?" Sadie laughed, her hand on her hip.

"Cabana sex is great, Sadie." James stepped towards her, grabbing her hand, "Tonight's gonna be different, though."

Sadie was watching him. It was like he was a fish in a bowl and Sadie was a kitten. What the fuck was he doing? How did he get in there? And how can I destroy him? At least, that's how James read it, and he'd become a near expert on knowing what Sadie Grant was thinking. She hated that. Sadie lifted her bag off her shoulder, over her head with one hand, and placed it on the stool beneath her counter. James waited the whole time to explain, still holding her hand, and tight. She bit her lip, looking around the dimly lit apartment, "You're making me nervous, boy."

James reached in his pocket, pressing play on her Stereo remote and smirking. Boyz II Men started playing throughout the room, a very cheesy but strategically picked, "I'll Make Love To You" quietly crooning. Sadie shook her head, "Tonight." James said, "I'm not just having sex with you, because I'm sick of that. We're taking it slow, and I'm making love to you. After some romancing, of course."

"Make love, James?" Sadie smirked, devilishly and with her eyebrow still raised, "Are you the chick, or am I?""Sometimes, I wonder." He shrugged, simply. "Just trust me. Do you trust me?"

She took a minute. Her eyes left his, again, and looked around the room. It was everything she hated, but it was James, and that somehow convinced Sadie that it was relatively adorable and acceptable. She chewed on the inside of her mouth, thoughtfully, swinging her and James' conjoined hands back and forth, "I'm starting to think I don't have a say in this."

James shook his head. He tugged at her hand, pulling her towards the dining room table. It was covered by a plastic, red table cloth, sprinkled over by white petals. Sadie smiled as James pulled out her chair and lit the obscenely tall candles. He scurried to the kitchen, like a busy housewife, and returned with a tall bottle of cheap wine. She smirked, "It's the best I could do."

"You're going to get me drunk?"

"We're going to get buzzed. Together." James corrected, pouring her a glass. "Just, let me do this, Sades. Christ. I'm trying to be romantic. You're always fucking complaining about -"

"James. Shut up." Sadie stopped him, "I like it. It's fine. I'll stop berating you. Just kiss me."

He smirked, stepping around the table and kissing her lips, softly. She smiled against his mouth and pushed him back. James left again, coming back with a poor man's feast; Burger King bags. Sadie couldn't keep herself from chuckling as James set the Whopper in front of her, then said, "For a side, would the lady like Onion Rings or French Fries."

Sadie shrugged, "Surprise me. Though, if you eat the onion rings, I'm not kissing you."

"We'll both have fries then." James pouted. Sadie beamed.

The two munched, crunched and chewed their meals. It seemed like they never broke eye contact. Sadie would smirk, James would counter it with a wink, and then they'd both laugh to themselves, at each other. Sadie took a sip of her drink, James chugged his like a frat bro at a kegger and it made Sadie happy. Just watching him, trying to seem like he wasn't impressing her by getting more drunk. She was starting to feel it, the liquid courage. It was an awful idea, drinking. Sadie had spent many a high-school day doing just this, getting drunk. Only, then, she was with whatever beau she had at the time…or alone in her room blasting Katy Perry and telling herself she was a fucking firework. It's what got her to graduation. James, however, was still relatively new - a lightweight. Sadie knew, at the pace he was drinking and the amount, he'd be a bit more than buzzed - not entirely drunk, but not entirely James Diamond. She didn't mind, though.

They finished eating, in the most comfortable silence, and James took her over to the couch. Sadie sat down, smoothing her sundress, and turned to a staring James. He was just standing there, staring at her, and he knew he must've looked insane - due to the look on Sadie's face. But, for some reason, he could never look away from her. He wanted to. James wanted to be able to not feel everything he was feeling, life was so much easier when it didn't involve Sadie Grant. So, shaking his thoughts, he turned on the television and pressed play. He held up a finger and ran to the microwave. He popped some popcorn and brought the heaping bowl back to Sadie as the movie, _American Beauty_, started playing. Sadie wanted to comment on how unromantic the whole thing was, the movie aspect of it, but she knew that James knew it was one of her favorites.

The character, Lester, opened the film with a monologue voice over. There was a shot, he was jerking off in the shower and Sadie couldn't help herself. She leaned over to James, "Bet you do that everyday. Pictures of boys plastered on your showers walls?"

James smirked, "Sadie, if I like guys, what does that say about you? A little butch, are we."

She opened her mouth, but then nodded, appreciatively, "Touché, darling."

The room fell silent for a little while, again. The only thing making noise was the movie. James draped his arm over Sadie shoulder, the bowl in his lap and her head on his chest. He was in love with this night, this situation, this moment. When Sadie was cuddled up against him, when he was just there, with her, James felt perfectly content. He struggled paying attention the entire movie. It was all a blur to him, though he'd seen it before, because James was just thinking about everything he wanted to do, wanted to say. It was when Sadie sat up, and James felt cold, that he came back to reality. The credits were rolling on the screen, the bowl of popcorn was still full and just as cool as James felt without Sadie's warmth.

She scooted further away from him, facing his direction on the other end of the couch. Then, she reached and moved the bowl in between them with a sly grin. She lifted a piece of the snack up, and wiggled her eyebrows. James sat up straight, clapped his hands, and faced her, "Hit me."

Sadie laughed, tossing a piece of Extra Buttery popcorn across the couch. It bounced off of James' lips, and he grinned, catching it before it hit the carpet. She high-fived him, congratulating him on his save. Sadie popped a piece in her own mouth, holding it with her teeth. She leaned over the bowl, holding herself up with her hands. Her body fell a little, the couch rocking and Sadie squeaked. James, quick to catch her, smiled again and took the popcorn from her mouth with a kiss.

The sun had just gone down, May was slowly coming to an end which meant June was creeping up. That, of course, meant James would leave for his tour. Sadie tried not to think about it, she tried not to be cynical and dwell on it too much. But the fact that he'd be gone all summer, leaving her behind, tore her apart. Sadie held his face for a second, staring into his hazel green eyes and letting a smile stretch her face. James' expression looked amused but lost, he raised a perfect eyebrow and whispered, "What's up."

Sadie sat back, her smile not faltering in the slightest, "Truth or dare?'

"I should have known." James shook his head, "I thought we were having a moment. Leave it to Sadie Grant to kill all hope."

"First of all, fuck you." Sadie smirked, crossing her arms, "Second of all, you love it. And third, answer or no sex."

"For how long?" James asked. "The 'no sex'?"

"Eternity."

"Truth."

"What's your deepest, darkest secret?"

James leaned back on his elbows, looking thoughtful and incredibly sexy - Sadie noticed. He took his sweet time, mulling over the question. James had a lot of secrets, and if it'd been anyone but Sadie, they'd be something worth sharing. But he'd already told her everything, every detail about him. Except for one thing. He looked back at his girlfriend, she sat bouncing a little in her seat, as she always did when she was anxious. James' heartbeat started picking up, his mind almost hurt. Each passing thought was about Sadie, the greatest memories he had. His secret was evident to him, and James was a man of honesty, he had to tell her the one thing she didn't know; he loved her. Of course, the circumstances weren't ideal. He'd wanted to have control of the night, he wanted to pace it an tell her when it felt natural. But James didn't know if he'd have another open window. He was leaving in three days, exactly, and he definitely wanted Sadie to know how he felt before he left. Clearing his throat, James sat forward. His elbows rested on his knees, one leg underneath him and the other firm on the ground. He clasped his hands in front of him and looked down. James was about to do this, everything about to get real, and fast. He was shaking his head, occasionally, trying to word it.

"Jesus, James." Sadie laughed, "Are you taking a shit or playing a game."

He looked at her, "Neither." James kissed Sadie, then. He pulled her face to hers, then leaned her back onto the sofa. She didn't protest, her hands lazily draped around his neck, "Sadie."

"Yeah?" She whispered, just as tenderly as James spoke. He took a strand of fallen hair and removed it from her eyes, "What's wrong, James? Tell me."

He kissed her again, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing." Sitting back a bit, but still slightly hovered over her, James started the speech that could ruin his life, with as much confidence as he could manage, "You want to know my biggest secret?"

Sadie readjusted herself, looking more serious, which was even more unsettling for James than her usual, confident smirk, "Not when you set it up like that, I don't. But, alright, hit me." She shrugged, "Oh, were you born a girl? Oh, wait. No. You're a communist, aren't you?"

"Sadie. Stop. I'm…I'm trying to be serious here." James tried to laugh, but it sounded forced - he knew it did. Sadie just nodded, after a moment. "It's crazy to me that…this time last year I didn't know who Sadie Grant was, I probably wouldn't have given two shits. I mean, what would have happened if I didn't know you? If I had no idea that you can't stand Nicholas Cage. If I didn't know that when you listen to Aerosmith, you cry, because Steven Tyler will never know you. What would my life be like without you? Without Sadie Grant, the closed off, stubborn as hell, but equally perfect, and interesting and…beautiful girl from Bathe, Maine with the mouth of a fucking sailor and a smirk that could make a cripple pop a boner."

"You just said so many offensive things."

"That's not the point, Sades." James watched her expression, it was increasingly hard to read and he didn't like it. "The point is, my life without any of that knowledge would be shit, I know it for a fact. There are just…there are people you're supposed to meet. You're that for me, you know?"

"What…I mean…James, what are you trying to say?" Sadie bit her lip. She knew exactly what he was getting at, and she wished he would stop in the back of her mind. Unfortunately, her heart had pushed her brain out of control and in that moment, Sadie didn't want to hear anything but those three words. This was it, she had a little under a week to make the most and then the worst of their relationship. Because she knew what would happen after he left, what she would let happen. And if it didn't, Sadie would make it happen. She would make it easy.

James looked down, shaking his hair, back up to her eyes and smiled, "I'm saying, that you're a faulty blow up doll. This whole thing, we were supposed to have sex and nothing else. And then you, you were so perfect. You opened your mouth and I…couldn't stop myself from wanting to hear to talk, all the time. And you can, and you do - you never stop talking. Blow up dolls, they're silent. They don't take your life and shake it up and make you fucking insane."

"I was supposed to lay there lifeless?" Sadie grinned, jokingly, "It wasn't one-sided, Diamond. And, for the record, you're just a glorified vibrator. So, hah."

With his full attention on her, James was ready. He held Sadie's hands, wanting to laugh at himself for being so a-typical, confessing my love to you, romantic. But, it felt so right to him that it could've killed. Sadie looked at their fingers, intertwining, a small, almost sheepish grin on her face. She looked up at him, he looked so amazing to her. James took in a breath, and Sadie let out one. Her brain was screaming - literally screaming at her - to stop him, but she couldn't. Because the smallest part of her knew she wanted this. She wanted his love so desperately. And they were so close, "Sadie, you're an insufferable bitch. And I could sit here and point out your flaws until the sun came up, and I'm sure you'd be more than happy to do the same to me. But, with all that said, I wouldn't want you any less crazy, any less broken or damaged. You're perfect to me, and don't at all feel pressured to say it back, but…God. I am…one-hundred percent, completely fucking in love with you."

"Say it." Sadie whispered.

"I love you."

She smiled. Her eyes blinked and she shook her head, "Fuck, James." She titled her head back, just like she always did as a child. She was trying to force her crying back into her tear ducts. She had no reason to cry, Sadie wasn't about to cry, "I…"

"Sadie, you don't have to say it." James reassured her.

"James Diamond. Five fucking months and I just…alright?" She sighed, "You're an asshole for doing this to me. You're a damn asshole and I won't forgive you, ever." Sadie crawled so she was directly in front of him. She'd gotten everything she'd wanted, ever in her life. She was terrified, she was always fucking terrified around James. But the feeling inside her, just then, when he looked at her like that. Sadie was on cloud nine, dying slowly. She knew she'd fall from her high, and when she did all hell would break loose. But, it wasn't time for that. She pushed James' hair back, feeling cheesy and fake, but more real than she'd ever been, "I'd be lying if I said you weren't all I think about. But, God, I don't know. What do you want me to say? What did you do to me, James Diamond?"

She didn't say it back. And James knew she wouldn't. But from her eyes, he knew she wanted to. He knew that it was on the tip of her tongue, but Sadie wouldn't let it out. James was aware that was the best he was going to get. He smiled at her and then, James spoke, his hand stroking her cheek. "You've never looked more beautiful to me, Sadie."

"What do you mean?" She stared, confused.

"You're vulnerable right now. God, I wish you could see you." James sighed, her eyes were on fire. James could tell he had to seize this moment before she backed out, took back everything. Because Sadie would, eventually, take back this whole night. James wouldn't be able to stop her from doing it. He could dwell on that thought for as long as their relationship held out, or he could just be here. In this moment, where Sadie was begging him to love her. He chose that, without any hesitation, "I just…Sadie."

"We're fucking crazy, you know that?" She didn't mean to sound as bitter as she did, but Sadie was already starting to freak out. She felt self-conscious under James' stare, "Five months."

"Five months." He repeated.

"People don't fall in love in five months." Sadie shook her head, "People can barely stick to a diet plan for five months, especially in Hollywood."

"Why are you talking about other people, babe?" James asked, laughing, "Why the fuck do other people matter so much to you?"

"I just…"

"Want to be normal? Sadie, if you were normal I wouldn't have just told you I loved you." James smirked, "I'm a sappy, pile of mush right now and you're killing that buzz. Just let me love you. Let me make you happy. I want to make love to you, for once. Not just sex."

Sadie bit her lip, her eyes blinking once, twice, three times. She took in a quiet breath and nodded, "Okay. Alright, James."

They both stood, holding hands, James' thumb rubbing circles over hers. Sadie just watched the back of his head as he slowly took them down the hallway. He stopped outside her bedroom door. It was closed, which was different, Sadie always left it open. James had done something, altered her room and Sadie suddenly realized the situation she was in. She was about to commit something to James she'd never given anyone else. She was about to give herself to him in a way she'd never experienced, and because James loved her. And Sadie loved James.

James kissed Sadie, his lips soft against hers. She tasted like the wine and buttery movie snacks, and it was the greatest thing he'd ever felt, "Close your eyes, babe."

She obeyed and James opened the door. She heard him shuffle around the room, then he came up behind her and pushed her forward, as sweetly as possible. James didn't let Sadie open her eyes the entire time he undressed her. She just stood there and let it happen, she let James' hands roam all over her, pulling at the straps of her dress. Sadie involuntarily moaned when he kissed her neck, his fingertips touching the spots his lips met beforehand. Then, she couldn't take it anymore. He'd stopped any contact with her and it was driving her crazy. But Sadie didn't want to ruin the moment, so her eyes stayed shut and she impatiently said, "James."

Then, she let out a squeak when James' arm bent her legs and lifted her, bridal style. Sadie was placed on her bed and James' lips were placed on hers, "You're the most beautiful thing in the world, babe."

"James."

"Ssh." James stepped back, "Open your eyes, Sadie."

Sadie's left eyes creeped open, followed by her right when she saw her room. Small candles were scattered on every surface; the windowsill, the dresser, her bedside table. She smiled, in spite of everything she believed in. Then, she made eye contact with her boyfriend. _Her boyfriend_. He smiled at her, she beamed back like a child on Christmas morning, ecstatic and amazed. James stepped back towards her, but Sadie held up a finger. Her eyes shut again, "Wait. Stop."

"What, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." She smiled, "Everything's perfect, James. I just…I need to keep you like this in my mind."

"Oh."

They both knew what she meant. Sadie wanted to hold onto that moment, when she felt most loved. She wanted to be able to look back on it, when she and James were long over and smile because she knew he loved her more than anything. Sadie was being selfish, she was jumping to the end of their relationship before it barely had a chance to being. James was frustrated, to say the least. He didn't want it to end, he couldn't see it ending. But Sadie had her mind set, she wasn't going to give that up. She was far too stubborn. So, James let her lock the moment down, then when she re-opened her eyes, he was there. He was naked in everyway possible, in front of the girl who changed his entire world in five fucking fantastic months.

"Say it." Sadie whispered, again.

James said, "I love you, Sadie Noelle."

And then, like word vomit, Sadie couldn't control herself. She opened her mouth and the honesty flowed out, like it always did with her, "I love you, too, James."

He was taken aback, not more than she was, but they didn't falter for more than a second. James didn't want to miss that window and Sadie was too shocked to speak. So, James crawled on top of her and captured her mouth with a passionate kiss. A different shock spread through Sadie and made her nearly sick to her stomach, but her fingers tangled in his hair and pulled, and she was gone. James was making love to Sadie and she was making love to James. He didn't want to leave Sadie's lips, but James figured she wanted more than just a heavy make-out session - because he knew he did. He kissed down her body, latching onto her nipple and loving the feeling of Sadie beneath him. Her back lifted off the bed, her breath catching. He'd done this same thing so many times before, but the situation and the surge running through her was entirely different. James' hand cupped her breast, the other holding him up. Then, it ran down her side, his finger tips barely touching her. Sadie could feel his erection growing against her leg and she wanted to make him feel as amazing as she did.

Her hand snaked it's way down, taking hold of him, and James took a moment to suck in a breath, closing his eyes. She stroked him, slowly. Sadie was an expert, James thought, trying to focus his attention back on her body. His mind was fogging all too soon, so James grabbed her wrist and stopped her with a look, "Babe."

She nodded, apologizing silently, and then kissed him, leaning up on her elbows. She was panting, Sadie couldn't help it. James on top of her, the dancing flames around them, it was far from a romance movie, more like an upscale porno - at least to her. To James, it was probably the opposite. And, maybe, if Sadie's head worked like his, it'd be like that to her. For now, she preferred the porn, because it allowed James to do whatever he wanted to her, whatever she wanted. Currently, his head hovered over her belly button, his breath hot against her stomach. He looked up at her and smirked, then kissed her hip bones, her inner thighs, and then Sadie lost it. Her hands her holding his head, her chest heaving. James stopped, taking a moment to admire her, then brought him face back to hers. He kissed Sadie's cheeks, her nose, her lips.

"Love me, James." She breathed.

"Always, Sadie." He grinned, "Always."

Then, with their eyes locked, James was inside of Sadie. She moaned, he moaned. It was the first time in a while they'd been missionary, it was different. James thought it was the most intimate they'd been, he was staring directly into Sadie's eyes, she was looking right back at him. He kissed her, his tongue mingling with hers, and she giggled and moaned and thrashed and sighed. His pace was slow, slower than usual, but Sadie had different plans. Her hands slid down his back, finger nails dragging, "James." Her voice was quiet, but demanding, "Harder."

And harder he went. Harder and faster. Harder. Harder. He grunted, loudly, and slammed into Sadie. It wasn't how he'd planned it, but it wasn't nearly as raunchy or unromantic as he and Sadie had ever been. James was content with the situation, and it was apparent that Sadie was as well when her eyes closed tight, her eyebrows knitted and she let out the longest, loudest moan James had ever heard. Whether it was that, or the feeling of Sadie around him that set James off, he didn't know. But James was quick to follow Sadie's consistent lead.

He kissed her, roughly, and rode it out with her. Then, when all was done, he settled his forehead against hers and laughed, "My God."

Sadie nodded, and then she said in the softest tone, "I'm going to miss you."

James let himself believe it was only because he was leaving on tour, they both knew otherwise. It was the most unfortunate state of affairs. Sadie felt guilty, she did. And, when she curled against him, letting James pulled the covers of their bodies, she had to stop herself from crying. James held her close, hugging her tight. It was that moment, that second in James' life, he decided her wouldn't let anything happen to her, to them. James Diamond wasn't going to let Sadie Grant go.

_reviewers get rewards:_

**Gummy'Fish'Lover: **baby caaakkeess, I am loving you forever. We can eat marble cake and chicken nuggets for the rest of our lives, and Norway is beautiful in the summer, if you were curious. Spent three days there in August. (:  
><strong>ohdarlingyou: <strong>I LOVE KINK CONFESSIONS, can I just say that? bond fucking made, dude. I seriously cannot get enough of the boys when they're angry. (:  
><strong>HorrorGurlxOxO: <strong>OMG LADY GAGA. She's perfection, right? That song has become my life. I just, omg. Oh, and thanks for following me, babes. AND KENDALL, KENDALL, KENDALL! ALL DAY KENDALL. GOD, I FUCKING LOVE KENDALL. Then it'd be Logan, because I feel like he'd say sweet things like "Baby" and "Baby girl", but just be totally kinky. And then Carlos. But that's not to say I wouldn't jump Carlos' bones in a heart beat. (:  
><strong>StuckAt9.99: <strong>the award for the most "fucks" used goes to you, babes. YOU MAKE ME SO PROUD! Boyz are silly, gotta admit I've participated in such obscenities, though. My friend Wes and I are the two most sexually frustrated and just…perverted kids ever. I think it's because we're too comfortable with each other, he's been my friend since I was like…six. Random stories, for the win. So much love for you. (:  
><strong>kaitlin: <strong>I'm glad you're still lovin' it, because I'm always lovin' you. (:  
><strong>jchamberz: <strong>it's Sunday. I updated. I DID get fucked up…but that was on Saturday. YOU are fucking perfect. SERIOUSLY. And, babes, you KNOW I've got so many things in my story arsenal. 2012, imma be unstoppable, love. (:  
>anonymous: WISH GRANTED, love! Updated, just for you…and everyone else. JUST MOSTLY YOU. And, OMGWHUTT! I read you're review, right after I got out of the shower *nudge nudge* and my jaw dropped! I wish you would have reviewed sooner, I would have told you to tell Kendall and James that I'm legal, if you were up to it. (:<br>**Pucoan: **I HOPE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER, BABY. And I have no shame either, because most of this "sexy smut" was written in a school. And, you can be Sadie. I'm dubbing all of you Sadie FOR LYFE. So, go find James and be like, "Look, bitch. I'm fucking Sadie Grant and we're going to be friends with benefits and fuck all the time, then you're gonna fall in love with ME, and I'll fall in love with YOU, because Kelsey FUCKING Dean told me to!" (:  
><strong>jackie: <strong>I LOVE YOU. I don't want to end it! I never want Sadie and James to be over. They're literally like…my everything. I've never been more happy with a pairing. *conceited* but, TA DA. I'm full of surprises (:  
><strong>bradytheboss887:<strong> so, wait, when you say "I'm a fucking babe", you really mean, "marry me, Kelsey!" right? Because I'm SO up for that, babes. AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN TWO WEEKS! How does Christmas work for you..? (:

HERE IS MY SHARING:  
><em>The History of Kelsey's Name<em>.  
>First name, <strong>Kelsey <strong>- after the actor, Kelsey Grammer. Middle name, **Dean **- because every kid in my family, if they're a girl, have a "boy name" for a middle name, and because my dad's some huge Dean Martin fan, i suppose. Last name, **Trux - **which, maybe I shouldn't tell you, but I've nothing to hide. It's legit, too. Facebook or Google that shit. It's like magic. It's pretty much my favorite thing about me, my name. Don't know why, I'm just in love with it.  
><em>KDT<em>**.**

Also, have I told you recently that I love you?  
>In your review, pick one of these songs to be the official SadieJames song:  
><em>Arms<em> - **Christina Perri **  
><em>Modern Love<em> - **Matt Nathanson**  
><em>Brutal Hearts (feat. Coeur De Pirate)<em> - **Bedouin Soundclash  
><strong>_Trade Mistakes** - **_**Panic! At the Disco****  
><strong>Make sure to listen to them, pay attention to the lyrics. Or, if you have any other suggestion...I mean, I'll check it out (:  
>This was nine pages on Microsoft Word. Longest chapter, EVER.<br>IF WE GET ONE-HUNDRED AND FIFTY REVIEWS, I'LL UPDATE ON WEDNESDAY.


	16. sixteen

**author's note: **YOU CAN ALL THANK **mynameisrooklynn** for reviewing and getting me to 150, she's da best best friend. i sweeaarrzzz. It's the second to last chapter. I'm literally dying. SERIOUSLY. I can't even handle all the emotions I'm feeling. I've been listening to Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, and any power rock ballad I could find because I'm just SO SAD. Everything is just ENDING. This story, my LIFE. UGH.

Alright, so not everything, mostly just this story. But, babes, I just want to express, once more, the amount of love I have for you all. I don't think I've ever had such…loyal, hilarious, SEXY reviewers, EVER. In fact, I'd argue that NO ONE has. You guys are the bees knees, the cats pajamas, my grandma when she's a little drunk. That shit gets real, and it gets real FAST.

I hope you hate this, because I hate this chapter - in the best way possible. I hope it tears you apart and you just…sob, all over. But then, I hope you realize that it'll get better, because it's not the last chapter, my beautiful babes.

Here we go, into the great unknown.

_still _got that **same look **that sets me off,  
><em>guess <em>there's **just something **about you.

**review question: **I'm running out of questions, and because my friend and I are currently in a battle as to who I'd look better beside in BTR (ferlolzz), I think you guys should decide. So that's the SECOND TO LAST question: what BTR member would I look best next to? teehee, loves.  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>i don't own big time rush.

_the Benefits  
><em>chapter sixteen? this must be a dream!  
><strong>no rules.<strong>

This was it, the war James had been preparing for. He sighed, watching as Sadie glared at him. This, in hindsight, wasn't his best idea. He'd been walking on eggshells the past two days, leading up to this conversation. The worst part was, she didn't even seem sorry. Sadie didn't even give him the, "We need to talk" bullshit. She just looked at James, with a face that said, "This is all business to me, like a transaction". Sadie's mouth moved, forming something James assumed was coherent English, but he was frozen. James was ready for this, he honestly was, but there was something about the fact that it was actually happening, that Sadie was _dumping _him after five months, only one that was actually legitimate, that made him freeze up like a statue, standing helplessly in front of her as she simply said, "You know this is over, right?"

Sadie was dying inside, but she refused to let that show. Her tone was cold, just like all her actions had been the past two days. She didn't want anything to do with James, she just wanted him gone. Sadie just wanted him happy. Her body was tingling, like there were bugs under her skin, crawling around. It happened whenever she was nervous or upset, right before she cried. But James would be gone before Sadie let a single tear fall. She looked at her hands, fiddling with the piece of paper that burned a hole in her bedside table drawer for five months.

She sat up all night, going over every single rule and groaning as she skimmed each word. Rule number one: no pet names, nicknames or kink names. Long broken, the minute James started calling her "Sades" and "Babe". She never complained, because Sadie loved it, but she groaned every time she thought about it. Rule number two: no late night phone calls just to talk. Again, James. James destroyed the whole fucking list with that one call. It's where it started to go down hill, he turned Sadie into some hopeless romantic because he fucking "wanted to…uh…talk?" Rule number three: no dramatic, romantic eye contact during sex. The shower. It's all she could think of. The shower, and every time after that. Rule number four: no romantic stares, glances, or daydreams ever. That was all her, as far as she was concerned. She didn't know what went through James' head, but Sadie knew her was everything she thought of.

Rule five was simple: no letting it interfere with work. New York University was a bust. Rule six, seven, eight, nine, ten, and eleven all broken. It was only twelve: no jealousy, that they'd avoided. Sadie was all but too thankful for that. Her arms fell to her sides as she finally looked up at James. He was glaring daggers at her, but otherwise he was motionless. If falling in love with him didn't frighten her, this sure as hell did. She wanted him to say something. James wanted to say something, he had something to say. He'd planned it all out, hadn't he? Why was it so fucking difficult to form words and tell Sadie that he couldn't and wouldn't live without her. That she may be stubborn, but he was in love and he wasn't going to let that go because some broken hearted girl wanted to throw everything they'd worked for away. That James Diamond wasn't ready to stop loving Sadie Grant - and wouldn't ever be.

"I…I think you should leave. You've got a lot of preparing to do." Sadie murmured, reaching behind him to open the door. That was probably his first mistake, he didn't even make it past the doorway. James suddenly regained movement in his arms and slammed his palm on the wooden door. Sadie looked up, "James, please don't do this."

"It's not over, Sadie." He grumbled. She heard him, and he knew it because her head dropped. So, James continued, "I'm not leaving until we work this out."

"I don't want to fight with you." Sadie protested, confident now.

"Then just listen." James turned and looked at her. Sadie was trying not to cry. James wanted to just hold her and make her stop. He didn't want Sadie to cry because of him. He took a small step forward, ready to console her, but put his hand back down, "Because, I'm not leaving this state, this city or this fucking room until you hear me out."

"James, just go. We're done. You knew -"

"Don't give me that bullshit, Sades." James grunted, angrily hitting his fist on the door she tried to force open again. "You don't want to end this, I can see it. You can feel it. Just don't fucking do this. Do you not realize how great we are together?"

Her chocolate brown eyes found his, "We're far from perfect, idiot. Look at us. One month and we're tearing each other apart."

"Five months." James corrected, "This relationship is five months running, and it's not stopping now. We tear each other down all the time, that's how this works. Stop being like this, Sadie."

"Just go."

James stood his ground. He stared Sadie down and crossed his arms, shaking his head like a child, "No. I'm not moving.

Sadie glared at him. She opened the door, James having taken a step back, stepped quickly to the counter to grab her phone, and then left, "Fine. Then I'll go. Lock the door when you're done."

James watched Sadie leave. He heard her slam the door. His heart fell, then shot back up into his throat. He screamed, he just stood there and screamed until he couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't letting her leave him, that wasn't about to happen. James could say it until he was blue in the face that Sadie wasn't ending this. This whole day was just a miss. A failure on his behalf. He'd woken up, so ready to steal away Sadie's heart once and for all, and this is where it got him. With another grunt, he threw open the door and slammed it shut, once he was in the hallway. He ran down the hall, to the stairs, and into the lobby. It was packed, but Sadie wasn't anywhere in the crowd. So, James took to the pool, and without any luck, he stormed to the park. There she sat, pulling out grass by the fistful and throwing it back to the ground.

"Sadie." James' voice was stern.

"James, leave me alone." She picked at the grass beneath her, her eyes staring blankly ahead at the kids rolling by on scooters, the mom's scolding unruly toddlers - anything but him.

"What do you want from me? Huh?" James sighed, aggravated. He stood behind her, unsure of what exactly to do with his hands, his body. He was just awkward, and it was her fault. She's stripped him of his confident, cocky demeanor and made him a lovesick, desperate puppy dog. James didn't mind, not in the least, he just wanted Sadie. "I don't…I don't know how we got here. I don't know how we're going to get back, but I'm not just going to give you up…if that's what you want, or what you're thinking, Sades. I…I love you. You know that, and you love me."

"I don't love you."

"Then you're a liar." James shook his head. Finally, he sat directly in front of her until Sadie _had _to look at him. "Tell me what you want."

Sadie looked up, back down, then sighed. Her head rolled back and she closed her eyes, tight. "Just, please, stop. James, you just…you just need to stop. This whole thing is a lost cause."

"Fuck that." James groaned, "Sadie, do you hear yourself, you're giving up on us. You can't sit there and tell me you're not happy with us."

"I'm not. I'm fucking miserable. I…worry constantly. I'm losing hair because I'm stressing so much. I haven't had an audition in a month, which is a problem, because you know my Dad's conditions." She bit her lip, she didn't want to say it, but she'd win if she did. Sadie wanted to win this fight. "You know that I missed the audition of a lifetime for you? New York University wanted _me_, they wanted to see _me _dance, and I skipped it because you needed me."

James glared at her, in disbelief and hurt, "Sadie, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"New York University, James. It's hella hard to get in there, and I had that chance." Sadie was strong with her words, her gaze was unwavering. "It was a month an a half ago, and you called me because you needed me. So, I skipped what could have been my shot.""And you're blaming me? Sadie, it's called will power, alright?" James scoffed, "I'm grown, if you said 'No' I would have handled it myself. It's not at all my fault that you couldn't fucking do that for yourself."

Sadie stood, "Yes, I'm blaming you. And fuck you, James. Seriously. Just…God! Why don't you understand that I don't want this. I never wanted any of this. You…pressured me into a relationship."

"You're so full of shit, you know that?" James followed her, towering over her. Sadie immediately regretted standing up. "You wanted this, you're just too chicken shit to admit it."

"Oh, I'm chicken shit? James, you're -"

"Sadie! Stop talking. I know how I feel about you, and I know that if you didn't feel the same way, you wouldn't be standing here, fighting with me. This is what happens when you love someone, alright. You get in pointless fights, you want to pull your hair out and kill them, but you make it work because you can't see your life without them." James tried to soften his tone, stepping towards her and taking her hand, "I can't see my life without you, and when I can, it's so shitty it's like World War fucking Three. Everything is a mess, buildings are torn down and the whole place looks like the fucking apocalypse came through, eight times. Sadie, I don't want to be without you. Ever. And, I won't argue about it anymore. So, if you don't want the same thing, say it now. Tell me that you don't love me, that you don't want this to work."

Sadie breathed. She looked around the park, looked up at James, then sighed. She tore her hand away and forced the coldest glare onto her face. James closed his eyes, he shook his head as she spoke, her words cold and harsh, "I _don't _love you. I don't want _this_. I don't want _you_. Just leave me alone, James."

And then Sadie walked away. She hung her head, and walked quickly towards the Palm Woods entrance. She chewed, hard, on the inside of her mouth, holding back the tears she'd never let fall. James stood in the middle of the park, ignoring whatever stares he was getting as he kicked the nearest tree and yelled. He started pacing, for only a short while, before he took off, "Sadie!"

She was just in the lobby doors when she turned and hastily wiped her face, "It's done, James. We're done. Stop trying to make this -"

"Shut the fuck up. Just stop talking." James reached her and held onto her face, "I know what you're thinking, I know this is straight out of every Hollywood Romance movie you claim to hate, but hide under your mattress, Sadie. I know you. I love you. I don't know why, but it's a lot like trying to touch a star. You know you'll never reach it, but you have to keep trying." He breathed, "You're my star, and I'm not stopping."

Sadie just shook her head, "Why won't you just give up?"

"Because, I'm James Diamond. I'm a stubborn, self-centered, self-absorbed, pretty boy asshole - as dubbed by most of the human population. Up until I met you, hell, I believed it." James chuckled, bitterly but trying to make light of the situation, "I don't know how to say this without making you hate me. I'm making a scene, I know, I'm drawing attention and you hate that. But…I love that you hate that. I love that you're more of a nerd than you'd ever admit. I love that when things get bad, you say, "Fuck the world" and turn into a hermit. Sadie, I'm trying not to make you hate me. That's all I want. You don't even have to love me, okay, just…don't hate me."

"I could never hate you, James" Sadie smiled. It was a small smile, in fact, if James wasn't right next to her face, he would have missed it. "It's impossible. I just can't do this anymore. I can't pretend I'm comfortable with something I'm not. Alright?"

James nodded, he tried to hide the fact that he was completely heartbroken. He watched as Sadie grabbed onto his hands. She blinked, then leaned up and kissed him. James wished she hadn't, but it was better than nothing. Sadie let go of him, and James took that as his cue to do the same. She squeezed his hand one more time before turning away from him and heading towards apartment 3H. James' heart dropped into his stomach as he watched her. The elevator dinged behind him, Kendall, Logan and Carlos stepping out. James had one hand on his hip and the other was pushing his hair back. He was hot, uncomfortable, he was about to break down and he felt pathetic. Five perfect months, literal perfection, and then it was done. Sadie had long disappeared when the guys walked over. Logan looked at James' face, the crowd slowly dispersing around them, then followed his friends' eyes. He closed his mouth, tight, knowingly and patted James' back. Kendall and Carlos watched confused until Logan mouthed, "Sadie."

Kendall nodded, Carlos followed Logan's gesture and gave James a few pats himself. Then, James Diamond closed his eyes. He didn't say anything, he just turned and walked away. He stepped down the hallway and, once he was inside of 2J, James pulled out his phone and texted four words to the only person he wanted to; Sadie.

_It's not over, babe._

Sadie's phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out, her head resting against her apartment door. She knew exactly who it was from, almost exactly what it would say. Her heart was pounding, her head was throbbing, everything was wrong and she knew it. It wasn't supposed to be like this, but it just had to be. It had to be this way, because it had to be Sadie's way. Broken, unfixable and as awful as imaginable. She hit her head against the wood behind her a few times. SLAM. SLAM. SLAM. Then, Sadie cried. She hadn't even read the message yet, and tears were pouring down her face. She couldn't control it any more, Sadie couldn't keep James from her mind, and her heart, he was her everything. Finally, she lifted her phone, _It's not over, babe._

And she nodded, because she knew he was right. James was always right when it came to them, he'd never been wrong and Sadie doubted he'd start today. She pulled herself from the door. She couldn't face anyone in this fucking apartment complex after today, it just wouldn't work. So, Sadie picked her phone up again and dialed home. A low voice answered, "Dad?"

"Sadie."

"I'll go to college. I'll do what you say. Just get me out of Los Angeles." And that was it. Sadie was over, Sadie was done - just like her dreams and just like James.

Kelly ushered the boys through the airport. James wasn't entirely sure why they didn't just use Griffin's jet, it wasn't like they'd crash it - unless Logan decided he wanted to pursue flying again, mid-flight. Still, he wouldn't argue. James didn't have the energy to argue. Kendall had to sleep in the living room. Logan and Carlos, whose bedroom was back-to-back with Kendall and James, slept with their headphones in, blasting whatever they could. He'd been crying all night - not even just that, he'd been screaming. There were few things that were more painful than witnessing James Diamond cry, and one of them wasn't even death. It was like watching a lost puppy cry for it's mother, only multiplied by one million puppies. Kendall put his arm around his friends shoulder, giving him an apologetic smile. James nodded and muttered, "I'm alright."

He rolled his suitcase behind him, managing his breath by counting the tiles he walked on. Kelly yelled at the other three, repeatedly, to hurry up. Not once did she say a word to James and he was the one holding them back, slowing them down. He knew he shouldn't let Sadie get to him, if it was as right as he thought it was, she'd be back. She'd be waiting for James when he came back from tour. And James, he was always right about their relationship. He sighed, handing his bag off to whomever - Carlos, he thought. Then, continued to follow Kelly and the boys, weaving through the airport, zooming past the McDonalds, shuffling through security and finally, in his first class cubby on the plane. He played games on his phone until the flight attendant came by, telling him to, "Please shut it off."

James resisted the urge to tell her to, "Please shut the fuck up." He imagined the whole trip would be like this. But, as he lifted the iPhone to press the power button, it vibrated. Assuming it was Twitter, James was about to pass the text message up. But the sender caught his eye. _The Best Fuck You'll Ever Have_. He couldn't believe he hadn't changed it, especially after the last month…especially after the last three days. He smiled, in spite of himself, then remember he was supposed to hate her.

The message read only two words. Two simple, typed words that James knew meant so much. They meant he still had a chance. His previous message, above that, read, _It's not over, babe._

Sadie's reply was just as blunt, _I know._

And with the biggest grin he'd ever had, James leaned back in his chair. He held down the power button and settled for a power nap. Three months he'd be back. Sadie would be there waiting for him, and everything would be how he'd always planned it to be. Perfection with Sadie Grant.

_reviewers get rewards:_

**jchamberz: **I hope things got better, babe. And, honestly, thank you so much. You really don't have to say that, it means so fucking much to me that you would. I hope you loved/hated this chapter. Because my intentions were just that. You're amazing. Thankssss (:  
><strong>HorrorGurlxOxO: <strong>AW, DON'T CRY. Okay, you can cry…especially if it's this chapter. If there were a chapter for you to cry at, it'd be this one, I think. I almost cried writing it - but that's because I was listening to my sad songs play list…I LOVE TRADE MISTAKES, but Arms won…which I also love. I think I was sort of leaning towards Arms anyway…biased as shiiittt. And, WHAT THE FUCK! Don't take this awfully, but, hold the fucking phone! You're BLACK! I'M BLACK. Well, half. AND YOU'RE FROM DETROIT? Half my fucking family lives in Detroit, I was born and RAISED in Michigan! I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU. (:  
><strong>BurstOfSunshine:<strong> Have I ever told you how much I love your icon?…or avatar? And, babes, seriously. Thank you so much. You have NO IDEA just how much that means to me. I'd frame that review if I could. I'm so immensely happy you feel that way. (:  
><strong>jackie: <strong>hi, I love you. YOU'RE CRAZY PRETTY. I totes checked out yerr Tumblr, babes. I'm seriously considering just making this a never ending story. But then…there couldn't be a….sequel? Hmmmm? (:

**LastBreath-x:** BABES, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I MISS YOU! And I really don't want it to end either. Seriously, I'm just loving it too much. And you, lovin' you forever. (:  
><strong>kaitlin: <strong>AWW, YOU'RE SO CUTE. You almost make…me…cry? That was meant to be endearing, I swear. Also, I agree. Arms is a winner.  
><strong>angel2u: <strong>PLEASE DON'T CRY. I cried because you were M.I.A. last chapter. Tsk tsk. All is forgiven, love. But you were missed. (:  
><strong>Pucoan: <strong>why is everyone crying? omg, now I feel really awful for this chapter. I really hope it does not have the same results…though, it did make me sad..I LOVE YOU, though (:  
><strong>ohdarlingyou: <strong>thanks babe. we can be kink sisters fho lyfffeee (:  
><strong>StuckAt9.99: <strong>I just feel like I should share this: I read your review in Wal-Mart and I was like, "AWW, SHE'S DA BESSTTT" and my mom was like, "Who are you talking to, Kelsey?". I ain't even mad, though, because I love your reviews and I wanted the greater part of the Wal-Mart population to know! DUMP THAT HOE! DUMP HIM RIGHT NOW. Me and my friends, whenever one of us would break up with a guy, we'd always shout that - I'll have you know, it was in middle school and we went through boyfriends faster than J-14 quizzes, but we'd always make him feel awful and be like, "DUMP THAT HOE!" in the middle of the hallway. And WE BOTH HAVE INANIMATE OBJECTS FOR LAST NAMEZZZ. Trux and Foote, too perf, babes longest reply ever. (:  
><strong>anon: <strong>PLEASE DON'T JUMP OUT A WINDOW! IT GETS BETTER. I GETS FREAKING BETTERRRRR! (:  
><strong>bradytheboss887: <strong>no, no. I love YOU. I JUST DO. FOREVER (:  
><strong>hey a-nonny: <strong>'tis alright darling, just know i normally update on Sundaze (:  
><strong>mynameisrooklynn:<strong> BABY GIRL, HOW I LOVE YOU. seriously, you da besst, rookss (:

Last chapter…next week. Will you die? I will.


	17. seventeen

**author's note: **It's over. That's all I have to say. I love you guys. I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

This chapter is mostly just closure. Sadie is incredibly wimpy in this…so…just prepare for that. I'm actually pleased with out it turned out, but I don't know how you'll all feel about Sadie being very…un-Sadie. Finally, though, in the last chapter, slight interaction with family, confrontation of feelings, it's just a mess. A glorious, hot mess.

I think it really showcases why Sadie moved, besides for her "career", it's a bit harsh. I mean, I read over this chapter like...eight times, rewrote it twice as many and I decided this was for the best. I'm rambling, though, so just...read.

James is just…I'm sorry. Epilogue out after, gosh, I don't know...when I feel it's time...so probably Monday? Because I'm addicted to posting things for you guyzzz.

_True Life_: I Write FanFiction.

_I tried my best to never let you in to see the I've never opened up,  
>I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me<br>And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go._

Christina Perri - **Arms**

**review question: **did you sob? were you sadddd?  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>i don't own big time rush.

_the Benefits  
><em>chapter seventeen? what does this mean!  
><strong>no rules.<strong>

Being broken is a feeling unmatched by any other. It was something, unfortunately, Sadie had gotten used to. She'd been that way her entire life, or what she remembered of it. Some torn apart, poor, helpless child. There were a million and one things that she could blame it on - her parents rocky marriage during her childhood, the infidelity and all, her sister's obsessive need to outshine Sadie, regularly, the lack of shelter she had as a child. But Sadie knew it all came back to her and her inability to cope. She knew, watching James get into the sleek, black car Gustavo called for the boys, that whatever coping mechanisms she _did _have were shot to hell. She just stood there, Sadie was lifeless. She'd made the biggest mistake of her life, and while she was fully aware of it, she didn't do anything to stop it. Sadie just let James go. She didn't expect him to stay behind with her, when he went on tour, or for her to go along. It was a more metaphorical letting go, she guessed. Sadie let her mind get the best of her, as always, and failed to push past her desire to call things off before they got too serious, too involved. The only problem was, Sadie was about three months too late when it came to that. She and James were beyond serious, whether they realized it, whether _she _realized it. They had a more conventional relationship than most couples, because they weren't a couple. It was much easier to accept her feelings for him when she thought her love was simply platonic.

But he took her past that, he put a label on it and changed everything. Sadie wanted to blame James. It was easy to blame James because he wasn't around. She didn't have to face him and inevitably face the truth that Sadie was just not cut out for whatever he wanted, that he needed something better than her. Sadie needed to believe that she was perfect for him, and James was the fool for making it complicated. Pushing Sadie into a relationship before she was ready was a mistake on his part, she wasn't at fault. But Sadie was lying to herself, everything became more honest, more real when he left. It was Sadie's fault. Everything was Sadie's fault.

Her shaky hands texted him back, still, her breath as uneven as her typing fingers. Two simple words, but Sadie knew they held so much more, and she knew James would recognize that. Pressing send was the hardest, but she did it, _I know_, it read. _I know_.

But what the fuck did she know. Sadie _knew _she was bat shit crazy. Sadie _knew _that she was giving up on more than just James when she called her dad the day before. Sadie _knew _she'd never felt more pathetic. But, if there was one thing she really, honest to God knew, it was that James was as stubborn as her. They'd be together, if it killed them both. It was the most dramatic thing she'd ever thought, her brain was betraying her morals, but it was the most honest she'd ever been with herself. Sadie Grant and James Diamond would be together. But, for right now…

Three weeks she did nothing but cry. Camille tried her best, as a friend, to help. But she could only do so much, and whatever she did, Sadie rejected. She sat in her room, for days on end. She wouldn't eat, she hardly slept. She just curled up into a ball on her bed, knees to her chest and inside the too-large Minnesota Wild's sweatshirt she hated wearing for more than one reason. Everything still smelled like James. Sadie felt unbelievably helpless. Everything hurt. Her head, her chest, her stomach, her eyes, her nose, her ears, her heart. Sadie was dying from the inside out without James, and it was her fault. After a while, her tears ran out. She just sat there and shook. Her iPod hated her for only playing Aerosmith songs, the BluRay played despised her as much as her Titanic DVD. Sadie was the hottest of all hot messes, and it was only when her Dad texted her that he'd be there in fourteen hours that she decided it was time to start packing - to leave the Palm Woods and everything that destroyed her.

She went to the bathroom, peeling off every piece of clothing like it pained her beyond comprehension. First her shorts, her underwear, then, and so reluctantly, came the sweatshirt. She'd only been wearing a sports bra under it, for at least a two days. Sadie felt disgusting. The bags under her eyes, the knots in her hair, were a sure sign that she looked as awful as she felt. It was the first time she'd acknowledged herself in the mirror and she wanted nothing more than to smash the glass. But, as the steam from the shower block her vision, Sadie pulled herself away from whatever pathetic form of her still existed and stood, until the water was like ice, in the shower immobile. It seemed like days later that she got dressed in what she assumed looked normal - a dark grey, once-tight-now-loose tank top and old, baggy cut offs she'd used in a High School recital once.

When the boxes piled around her became overwhelming is when the knocks at her door came. She stood from the couch, smoothing her wrinkled clothes as best she could. Sadie had spent another night awake, but with purpose this time. Sadie opened the door to her apartment, 3H, and smiled weakly at her Dad. He stepped inside, followed by Sarah - Sadie's younger sister. They didn't say anything, Sadie just glared at her then closed the door. Her Dad gave her a small smile back and hugged her with one arm. This was it, she was leaving the Palm Woods not even a year after she arrived. With the heaviest sigh, Sadie scratched her head and pointed to the general area, "Um, just grab some boxes, I guess."

Her dad nodded, Sarah shrugged, and Sadie went to her room - finishing whatever last minute packing she had. Literally everything she owned made her think of _him_. She thought this would be easier. She swore, up and down, to herself that James didn't matter. Sadie was stronger than that, strong enough to not be affected by some _boy_. It wasn't as simple as she wanted it to be, though. James was so much more than a boy, he was _her _boy. He was her everything and she'd thrown it away because Sadie was grown enough to step past her damn pride. She fucking hated her pride - no matter how destroyed it was, now. She threw her clothes into boxes, haphazardly and without care, and sighed. The large roll of tape she had was deafening. Everything was just elevated, she could hear her dad and sister murmuring about a stench. Sadie didn't know if it was her or the spoiled food in the fridge, but her Dad's footsteps down the hall worried her, regardless. She was about to be scolded, for something, anything he could think of, and Sadie wasn't about to handle it.

"Sadie," Her dad's voice was naturally low. Almost Barry White low, but Sadie could tune it out so easily. He repeated himself, she knew he hated repeating himself just as much as she hated hearing him do it, "Sadie Grant. Have you been eating?"

"No, Dad." She said.

"Why the fuck not?" He boomed, "Look at you, what _have _you been doing? Did I waste all of my money sending you out here, or are you not as much of a fuck up as you seem?"

Sadie sat on her floor, folding her leotards and sighed, "Shut up." She whispered, her dad said 'What was that?'. It made her feel like a child and Sadie couldn't stand it. She couldn't take it anymore. She stood, her confidence falsified and dangerous in this situation, "I said, 'Shut the fuck up' Dad. Alright? You didn't pay for any of this. You didn't have a fucking job when I left home, you sack of shit."

Her dad was taken aback, to say the least. Sadie was taken aback. Everything was silent. She didn't mean it, she thought. She should take it back, she thought. But she didn't. Sadie just stood there breathing heavily and staring daggers at the forty-something year old man in front of her. He shook his head, looked down, then looked back at Sadie with disappointed eyes. She wasn't sorry to say, it had no affect on her anymore. She'd seen that same look so many times. It was part of the reason she left home, so young. Her dad was quiet when he spoke, his words cutting at her like a knife - unfortunately, for him, she was too numb to feel it, "One day, Sadie, you're going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person, and your damn mouth will get you killed."

Then he left, he walked out of the room and back into the living room. Sadie breathed as she heard him heave boxes and close the door behind him. The rest of their time together was silent, between Sadie and her dad. Painfully so. Sarah, on the other hand, had no problem running her damned mouth, "You know you're selling out, right?" or Sadie's favorite, "Your boyfriend dump you?"

"What the fuck is your problem, huh?" Sadie breathed. It wasn't out of disbelief that she said anything, more out of sheer confusion. Sarah and Sadie had never been on good terms, she didn't expect that to change, but Sarah took things too far and Sadie never understood exactly why her disdain for her was so extreme, "What kind of a sister are you?"

Sarah shrugged, like she wasn't phased in the least bit by every emotion Sadie was emitting, "A Grant sister."

Sadie opened her mouth, closed it, then turned away, nodding. She held her tongue, she knew Sarah had a valid point. It was exactly how Sadie acted to everyone else - she just always wanted more from her family. When everything was packed into the U-Haul, Sadie excused herself to say goodbye to Camille. She clutched the now clean sweatshirt in her hands and made her way to her only remaining friends apartment, "Sadie, you leaving?"

She nodded, outstretching her arm, "Could you…could you give this to James?" She sniffled, Sadie was not about to cry right now. "I can't…I…fuck, Camille."

Camille pulled her into a hug, "I know. I'm sorry. I'll give it to him, Sadie."

And that was it. Sadie pulled away and smiled, in a way, at Camille. She sighed, and turned on her heel, stepping out of the Palm Woods with not backward glance, no small, whispered, "Farewell". Sadie was above clichés, just barely, but she was. She hopped into the passenger seat of the truck and nodded to her Dad that she was ready. Despite everything, he gave her an apologetic smile and started up the car. They pulled out and Sadie's head rested against the glass. The trip back to Maine was about to be hell, but if Sadie closed her eyes she'd see him, and things would seem less real.

The fact that, after only a day, James seemed completely unaffected by his recent break up worried Logan, Carlos and Kendall. He was back to being James, which was nice - they hadn't really wanted him to be a sobbing mess - but James wasn't _himself_ the way he was when they were all just single. He was himself how he was with Sadie, when they were together. The entire three months they were on tour, James was high-energy, friendly. It was only when they arrived back at the Palm Woods he showed any other type of emotion: worry. He was scared of the confrontation coming ahead. August in Los Angeles was hot, sure, but James knew it wasn't why his hands were sweating. He and the boys stepped onto the pavement in front of their apartments, backwards caps and sunglasses on. The four of them, collectively, had wide smiles on their faces. It was always a good feeling, coming home. James looked to the boys, they nodded back. Kendall grinned, Logan gave him a sturdy pat on his shoulder, and Carlos shouted after him, "Go fuck her, buddy! Fuck her for us!"

James smirked. He intended on doing just that. He'd gone through this scenario for three months. He'd come back to the Palm Woods resort, looking tan, muscular and sexually attractive, and Sadie would be standing in her doorway - naked, like the first day they met. She smile at him, he'd wink back and then they'd fall into each other, make sweet passionate love, and go back to normal. It was a fool-proof plan, guaranteed by those two words, _I know_.

Sadie knew. She knew he was in love with her. She knew they were soul mates, and you don't just up and leave your soul mates. You fight like hell for them, if romantic comedies taught them anything. He stepped quickly through the lobby, waving only out of politeness to whoever greeted him. But, when James saw Camille come out of the elevator as he was going in, something changed. She was holding something, something familiar. He looked down, looked at her, then raised an eyebrow, "Hey, Camille."

"James." She said, quietly. She looked at her hands for a second, then breathed before stretching her arms. James eyed her, warily, but took what she gave.

Unfolding it, James' eyes fixated on the Wild's Logo and the overwhelming smell of Sadie Grant filled his lungs. He took in a breath and looked at Camille, "How'd you get this? I gave it to Sadie…months ago."

"She gave it to me." Camille shrugged, her gaze not moving from the carpet of the elevator. She tried to step out, but James stopped her with a hand, "She told me to give it you to, James. That's it. I don't know anything else alright?"

"Where is she, Camille?" James was quiet, the doors threatened to close, "Where's Sadie?"

Camille finally looked up, "She…moved, James. Sadie moved."

He came out of the elevator, the sweatshirt slung over his shoulder, the smell messing with his head, "Alright, where? Like, a new apartment here? Or…somewhere else in L.A.?"

"Back to Maine?"

This must have been a joke. This had to have been a joke. _I know. _She said_._ _I know_. Sadie promised_. I know_. Sadie knew he was coming back in August. Why didn't she just wait for him? Why did she move? She wouldn't. Sadie would do that to him. She _knew_. James blinked once, twice, three times. Camille was trying not to look at him, but she knew that look he was giving her, she'd seen it only once before - when James saw the boys exit the elevator. He was scared, actual fear was shooting through his veins. She squeezed her arm, grip tightening without realizing it and Camille winced. James couldn't move again. why was it that whenever he thought of Sadie, whenever he had to confront his feelings for her he froze up like this?

"Camille, please tell me you're joking." The boys finally made it into the lobby, suitcases rolling behind them, happy smiles on their faces. James felt sick, "This is a joke, right? Sadie's up in her apartment, thinking she's so fucking witty because she tricked me, yeah?"

"James." Camille sighed, "I'm really sorry. I thought…I thought she'd tell you."

"Oh, did you?" James boomed, "Fuck! She's gone, Camille? She's gone and you didn't…damn it! Fucking damn it!"

Naturally, the guys took notice to James' outburst. The walked over to them, quickly, and tried to calm him, all at once. He shook his head and paced back and forth. Camille was a liar, she knew that Sadie wouldn't tell him, she just assumed she wouldn't be the one to have to tell him. She was about to let James go up to Sadie's apartment and knock on the door until his knuckles bled, pleading for Sadie to open the door when Camille knew damn well that she wasn't up there. Camille wanted him to find out on his own that his heart would be completely shattered, _again_.

But James wouldn't get so discouraged, he wouldn't let himself. For the love of Sadie Grant, he would not let himself think this was real. Sadie wouldn't just leave him, she had to have a plan. And, though James considered it a stupid one, it had to be right for them. Sadie had a heart, and not one that could do this to him, twice. So, after a minute of ignoring Logan and Carlos' soothing words, James shook his head and laughed, smiling like a maniac, "It's good, guys." He whispered, "I just…I need to get the fuck out of here."

"Alright." Logan agreed, "You wanna hit up the beach, or something?"

James shook his head, "The Palm Woods. I need to get the fuck out of the Palm Woods."

Carlos raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean, James?"

James looked at his sweatshirt, scoffed, and then looked back up, "We're…we're gonna move out, guys. I think it's time we moved out." James nodded.

"What, you mean, like, just up and go?" Kendall laughed, nervously, "We can't just pack up with nowhere to go, bro.""No," James agreed, "We've just always talked about it, I think now is the time. We've outgrown this place, guys. I need to…_we _need to move on."

And, because everyone knew what he meant, the discussion stopped there. The boys piled into the elevator, Camille waving and departing from the group. Everything seemed to fall back into routine, into wherever the pieces belonged and then stuck. The six month vacation promised to Big Time Rush was rewarded, and in that first month, they'd made their move. Kendall and James shared an apartment, naturally, and Carlos and Logan roomed together across the hall. They weren't far from each other, they'd never be, but they were far away from the Palm Woods. James was far away from his memories, and he was moving on. He was getting past the shock, the pain, the sense of betrayal he felt when Camille handed him that sweatshirt, and James was getting along. Whether it was because their album went double platinum in December, or because the Wild's took the Stanley Cup, or maybe, when January finally hit, it was because the world didn't end December 2012. Any way, any reason, he was completely content with, because James had something better to hold on to. Instead of the hurt, James focused on the future. And, when he did, he saw one thing - the same he'd always seen since the day it stumbled so angrily into his life - Sadie Grant.

Because she knew. Sadie knew. James knew. They'd be together.

_reviewers get rewards:  
>"One day, Sadie, you're going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person, and your damn mouth will get your ass kicked or get you killed."<br>_my mom says that shit to me ALL THE TIME. apparently, I have the problem of having no filter, no shame and little self-control. I daresay, bitches ain't shit.

**Gummy'Fish'Lover: **when my Grammy saw the commercial for Soul Surfer, she said, "It's so nice that she cut her arm off for that role. The dedication actors have these days is outstanding." Of course, she was joking, she's not senile, but I died laughing when you said you were watching that. And Carlos is nom nom nom nom nom (:  
><strong>Pucoan: <strong>I was standing in the kitchen, read your review, and I was like, "Tee heeee." and my mom goes, "What?" and I was like, "She said I looked good next to Jaaaammmeessss." SO I LOVE YOU FOR THAT, YOU WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL LADY. Also, the sequel is under works, baby. (:  
><strong>jackie: <strong>THE BENEFITS SAGA. They'll make it into a Big Time Rush movie when they realize that BTR has to have sexual relations at SOME POINT, and I'll be like, "FUCKYESOMG." (:  
><strong>perfect-tourniquet: <strong>I can't describe how happy I am to have you review, and you really don't have to say any of that, but know that it means the WORLD to me that you did. Thank you so much, babes (:  
><strong>StuckAt9.99: <strong>"_I'd say Kendall. Kendall is amazing and you're amazing_." I died. I FUCKING DIED. Then, I came back to life to tell you that you're SO FUCKING AMAZING THAT I JUST WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES. OmG, I just love Kendall SO MUCH. I mean, I love James, BUT FUCKING KENDALL. So many f bombs just then, I'm sorry. I just…you're perfect, and I love you. (:  
><strong>angel2u: <strong>you can have Carlos and I'm counting yours as another Kendall, so THANKS! And…well…this chapter? How you feel, huh? (:  
><strong>ohdarlingyou: <strong>plenty of angry kendall will be coming your way in January, love. Imma take like…Christmas off then I'm just attacking the shit out of the Big Time Rush Fanfiction archive (:  
><strong>anon: <strong>heart…mended? Maybe? At least a little bit? I hope so! And college is for fags, surriously. That's why I took I year off. Fuck da school systemmmmm.  
><strong>jchamberz: <strong>OMG, CARLOS. I'm seriously just fucking in love with him. Carlos and Kendall. Carlos and Kendall ALL DAY. Except, I'm like…three inches taller than him, according to the internet…BUT THANK YOU. Oh, and I LOVE YOU (:  
><strong>kaitlin: <strong>I'm sad about it too! But the sequel will be making love to your eyes soon enough (:  
><strong>bradytheboss887: <strong>KENDAAAALLLL! There were so many Kendall's! SO MANY. I love you! And Logan likes them black, considering he secretly is, so I'm totes game. Love foreverrrrr (:  
><strong>Anon T:<strong> ah! who are you! i must formally greet you via tumblr, loveee. also, thanks for saying that. you don't know what it means to me to hear people enjoy my writing. ANSDFGNIKRFDNJ I LOVE YOU. ANOTHER ONE FOR KENDALL! AND JAMES! you're wonderful (:  
><strong>ellelee99: <strong>DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME. COME BACK! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU BABYYYY! i'm glad you think so (:  
><strong>BigTimeWriterAndRead: <strong>baby girl, Favorite Story, Favorite Author, Author Alert, Story Alert and a Review. i've never loved someone more, girl. your expert use of the word "fuck" was also satisfactory, love, and YOU ARE TOO SWEET. I love you, baby caakeeezzz (:  
><strong>LastBreath-x: <strong>NO. I'm not amazing, YOU ARE. I said it, and so it shall be. Seriously, though. MUCH LOVE FOR A-YOU (:  
><strong>HorrorGurlxOxO:<strong> WE'RE LIKE THE SAME PERSON. HALF OF MY FAMILY IS IN MICHIGAN, THE OTHER HALF IS IN TEXAS AND VIRGINIA! MY GOD. KELSEY = AMAZZEEDD! also, danke for pairing me with Kendaaalllll (:  
><strong>Ameera Maslow:<strong> YOU'RE intense, in the most intensely spectacular way, baby cakes (:

BTR/KELSEY PAIRING TALLY:  
><strong>Kendall<strong> - 05  
><strong>Logan<strong> - 01  
><strong>James<strong> - 02  
><strong>Carlos<strong> - 02  
><em>SO MUCH KENDALL. I'M IN LOVE.<em>


	18. epilogue

**author's note: **it's more of a sequel preview than it is an epilogue…the sequel will start in the MONTH O' JANUARY. So, look for it. Review, babes.

Imma miss this for the…week and a half, that I'm gone ):

It's literally the smallest snippet of the first chapter to the sequel (title still being decided, so if you guys have ANY ideas, get at me.) that I could find…without giving things away. SO ENJOY IT. I know it's not much, but at least it should make some of you happy, because…well…you'll see.

You're probably going to be wanting more, but I unfortunately cannot give it to you, because I'm going to up North for Christmas - back home to Michigan - and I won't be able to write while I'm there. But it's only a week and a half, then the first chapter will be up, and it will be MORE and BETTER than what's below…although, what's below will be thrown in there as well.

JUST GO WITH IT.

I really hope you guys like this, I'm really nervous about it.

So** the Benefits **is actually over.

We're onto a new era of Sadie and James epicness.

I love you.

Stay as sexy as possible, babes.

Thirteen reviews and we get to 200, you up for the challenge?

**review question: **Excittteeddd?

**disclaimer: **i don't own big time rush.

_the Benefits  
><em>epilogue? you sly dog!  
><strong>rule twelve: no jealousy.<strong>

James felt too much like an adult, in this moment. The elevator music version of a familiar song played throughout the nearly barren grocery store. He pushed his cart down aisle after aisle, humming along mindlessly and picking up different soups, cereals and - he and Kendall's favorite - Ramen Noodles. They'd adopted a healthy diet, moving out on their own; living like poor college kids by choice. He sighed, squeezing between a woman's children, their cart and the other side of the aisle. This was supposed to be Kendall's job. James did the laundry, Kendall got the food. But, of course, he'd found a way out of it, just like he'd find a way out of his end of the deal - doing the laundry for the next two weeks. James often thought if he'd made the right roommate choice, Logan and Carlos didn't have these problems, but he honestly could only see himself living with one other person, happily. He wished, every day, that he didn't still think about her as much as he did. But, she was still just as much a part of him as she ever was. Sadie Grant would never leave James' head, his thoughts or his heart, and it was beyond unfortunate.

He went on dates, occasionally, and most of them ended in sex - but that was it. It was sex. Pure, unadulterated sex. And while, at one point in his life, that was all James wanted, he needed something more. Mental stimulation, for one. Hollywood was full of beautiful girls, but it was also full of beautiful bimbos who had nothing more intelligent to talk about than the latest Kardashian fiasco. Needless to say, James wasn't too happy with his situation. The boys were back in the studio, writing and recording and keeping themselves busy. It took up most of his time, and he was glad for that, but Gustavo was starting to get annoyed with James' lyricism. Broken hearted ballads, "I'm getting over you" dance anthems. While some of them were good, most of them consisted of Sadie's name, so they were deemed unusable. It was when James suggested naming the whole album after her that everyone decided they needed a little break.

So, here he was. Shopping, like a fucking grown up, at the corner grocer for Ramen, Pop Tarts and Red Bull. He didn't know why he bothered getting a shopping cart, it was practically empty. He could hear the sliding doors behind him open, something crashing, an eruption of giggling and a quick apology, but James ignored it, singing, "_If it isn't love, why do I feel this way_."

The giggling continued and a circuit in James' mind flicked on. He raised an eyebrow, was that what he thought it was? He'd heard that laugh before, a million times before. While watching Megan Fox tear apart boys, or Bradley Cooper try to find his friend in Las Vegas. It was so recognizable to him, but he shook his head. It was the song, the song finally clicked and he was thinking of her because of it. Still, his conscience got the best of him, and James had to prove himself wrong. He didn't turn to look, but he crept to the end of the aisle and peeked down the neighboring one, hidden behind a display of Lucky Charms. There were two girls, picking up cereals and still laughing. It couldn't be, and it wasn't.

They both had incredibly short hair, one blonde and straight, with bright, blue eyes. But the one he was looking at, the one all his focus was on couldn't have been who he thought it was. Her hair was barely to her shoulders, dark and impossibly curly. If James knew anything about _her_, it was that she loved her hair too much to chop it off. It bounced, like _hers _always did, the girl in the store, but there was something off about it. He caught a glimpse of the side of her face and James was trying his best to be inconspicuous. Her lips were painted red, her make-up reminded him of a 1940s glamour girl. She looked absolutely beautiful, but that wasn't what sold him.

His eyes wandered, down and down, and then fell upon something unmistakable. Those jeans, and not just the jeans, what was packed in them. James smirked, holding onto the tower of cereal. She lifted her arms over her head, stretching. The short, cropped top she wore lifted and revealed the tattoo James had seen so many times. It _was _her. But James had only a moment to revel in the moment, and as the Leprechaun's came hurdling towards him, what he thought to be true was confirmed completely. Both girls looked at him, the one with her back to him smirking and laughing. James scrambled to stand up, brushing off his clothes and looking directly at her, "Sadie."

She smirked at him, her bright lips lifting only on the right side, and her voice came out like a song. "James Diamond."

_reviewers are the loves of my life_:  
><strong>AmeeraMaslow: <strong>I hope you loved it, lovely (:  
><strong>BigTimeWriterandRead: <strong>SO MUCH LOVE FOR YOU. I hope this was satisfactory. (:  
><strong>jchamberz: <strong>STOP BEING WONDERFUL. Just…just stop it. (:  
><strong>angel2u: <strong>I'M MAKING A SEQUEL. Trust me, I'm as much "not done" with JADIE as you are, baby cakes (:  
><strong>ohdarlingyou: <strong>no, no. YOU'RE perfect. And I'm so excited for my Kendall/OC story. (:  
><strong>kaitlin: <strong>there will most DEFINITELY be a sequel (:  
><strong>jackie: <strong>BE PATIENT. IT'S COMING, I PROMISE (:  
><strong>ellelee99: <strong>THANK YOU, BABY GIRL. That seriously means the world to me, you don't even know (:  
><strong>OogieBoogieBloo: <strong>You are just a gem! I swear! I'm awesome? No. NUH UH. YOU'RE AWESOME. (:  
><strong>Gummy'Fish'Lover: <strong>PLZZ DON'T CRY, GIRRRLLL. And go and update your story! Silly goose, you. And I definitely call everyone "babes", "baby cakes", "baby girl" or just "baby". SO IT'S NOT WEIRD AT ALL (:  
><strong>Pucoan: <strong>"_plus, i'm too cute to die young_" damn STRAIGHT you are (:  
><strong>Anon: <strong>HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. YOU LIKE, YESHHH? Things will…progress…I promise (:  
><strong>bradytheboss887: <strong>DON'T HATE ME. PLZZZ. You've deduced wonderfully, love (:  
><strong>heyitsthatkidjay: <strong>BABY GIRL. Let me just tell you something about YOU that YOU might not know. You're story, "My Life As Lola" got me hooked on James. I mean, I stay for Kendall, but you're story made me stay for James for the majority of 2011. SO YOU REVIEWING THIS. MY GOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH, BABES. And welcome to the club, we're super sexy and love swearing. (:  
><strong>hey a-nonny: <strong>HOW NOW, BROWN COW? You're GOLDEN, you sex monster. (:  
><strong>mynameisrooklynn:<strong> GTFO, whore. YOU'RE KILLING ME WITH YOUR LACK OF TWITTER STALKING. IMISSHYOU. (:

In your review, be fucking amazing. It's what you're all best at.  
>I'll be back in <strong>11 days<strong>!


End file.
